Her Father Was on Her Christmas List

Coming back from the funeral, the girl sat on the loveseat as her mother opened yet another photo album of her father, specifically his college years when they first met. They opened the page of her father kneeling down in his red football uniform with his helmet in his left hand and football in the right. The girl smiled at the thought of her dad teaching her to throw the ball when she was a little girl but her smile quickly fading as he was no longer there to teach her how to catch.

The family continued mourning the loss of her father, as the girl looked over at the christmas tree the family put up before her father had gone to the hospital. She eyed the star shaped ornament her and her father made when she was just a little girl, the speckles of the golden glitter beginning to fall off. The bird ornament below was one of her father's favorites. Despite birds being his favorite animal, it was his favorite ornament because the girls mother had given it to him when they first met as a christmas gift, beginning their loving relationship.

The girl looked down at her lap, messing with her hangnails. She thought of last Christmas when her dad wasn't nearly as sick, when he only had to take light medication. He had gotten her favorite video game, which she had beaten in under two days. She grew up watching her dad playing video games, fighting games specifically. He would often let her play Street Fighter. The girl played as Chun Li majority of the time.

When her father was at the hospital she tried her hardest to stay strong for him. He was scared. But he wasn't alone. She tried showing him that he wasn't alone. She held his hand tightly, without losing grip and talked to him like they were having lunch. They talked about the new game she was hoping to get, his favorite color, what he was going to do once he got out of the hospital. Her father said he wanted to watch the girl open her presents one last time but had passed later that night.

The family abruptly stops their crying as her fathers pet bird begins its non stop squawking again, leaving the family in more distress as the bird reminds them more of his loss. "Jason, Jason, Jason!" the bird cries out, as the family still looks at the bird in the cage. Another wail is slipped out as the bird continues its shrieking.

"Would you put him in your room, dear?" The girls mother says in desperation as she turns around to look at the girl.

The girl looks at her mother's puffy face and swollen eyes, nodding her head. The girl stands, taking the cage and walks slowly up the stairs, muttering a "stupid bird" as the bird begins to whistle it's lousy tune. Opening the door to her bedroom, she lets out a heavy breath, setting the heavy cage on her desk.

The girl runs her fingers through her hair, her breathing quickening from the temperature in the house, feeling as if the house was getting smaller and smaller as she walked. Each hallway she passed she saw more pictures of her father. The girl felt like passing out. She lays down on her bed, letting a few tears slip from her eyes and down her cheeks. The whole situation was stressing her out and it wasn't long before she would have a meltdown from the misfortune piling up in her life.

She was thankful for Christmas break but she knew once she went back to school she would be bombarded by the failing tests she took right after her dad had passed. In the moment she didn't care. Her thoughts about her dad consumed her and made her heart ache and her mind scream. She wanted to dig her nails into her heart and pull it out to relieve the pain, she wanted to saw her head open and erase any memory of her dad so she wouldn't feel miserable.

She loved her dad with everything she had. She jumped up and down when he would beat the big boss of a video game, when he would catch the football in their backyard, or when he would come home after a long day of work and she would tell him all about her day. But now, only she could beat the big bosses and tell no one about her day.

She loved him so much, that was the problem. She wish she had never met him to save her from this awful pain and sorrow.

"Jason, Jason, Jason!" the bird screeches.

The girl rolls her eyes, standing up to open the door, only to hear the bird once again scream her father's name, as if he was looking for him. She looks back at the bird, the lump in her throat building up, her lips pressed together. She wanted nothing more than to let the bird free from her sight as the day wore on. The constant yelling set her off little by little, making her even more distressed.

She shakes her head, turning the door knob,as the birds cries out her father's name once again, almost in a taunting way.

"Shut it!" The girls yells, tears falling freely onto her cheeks and down her neck. "He's gone! He's never coming back!" She yells as she bangs on the birds cage. A loud sob echos in the room as the girl presses her fist to her mouth, wanting to shove it down her throat to silence her cries. Tears streaming from her face, she takes the bird from the cage, letting him climb on her arm. Scrunching her face, a cry of grief is let out, her tears trickling on down on her black dress. She leans down to pet the bird.

"I'm sorry. I just wish he made it to Christmas" The girl says