Sympathy for the Liar

Beep, Beep, Beep.

The harsh, loud noise of Evelyn Patterson's blaring alarm tone propelled her out of the sweet depths of her dream. Evelyn turned over to check her phone and silence the guilty thief of her slumber.

As she checked the time, she considered if she could squeeze in another 15 minutes of sleep but with a deep intake of breathe and a yawn, she pushed herself to get up and out of bed. Her mind immediately paced through her to do list for the day. Her day was filled with endless screen time: online blog tasks, online remote tutoring, and daily additions to her social media presence.

Evelyn prepared herself for the day with a quick shower, a healthy breakfast of oats topped with walnuts and a hot, steaming mug of tea. Then, she sat down to her desk and brought up her blog page, "Ever After with Eve." She scrolled mindlessly through her previous posts, feeling that burst of pride she felt for her writing. At the same time, a weary sigh escaped her lips. How much longer could she continue with these lies. Article after article flashed by showcasing her expert advise and perfect life: "How I turned my passions into profits" "The key to self-love" "Finding My Adam: How you can too!"

Online she had it all: career, success, man of her dreams, fulfillment, and she was sharing her bright slice of life with her dedicated readers who came back, day after day, looking for hope and faith that they too could achieve their dreams. In reality, she was just barely getting by despite her two jobs, was lonely as hell living alone and working from home, and was still desperately waiting for the Adam to her Eve. It had spiraled seemingly so fast. She had started the blog with the best of intentions but what does one write about when they are struggling and lonely? The temptation to photoshop her life had taken hold and once she started imagining her alter ego, Eve, she was sucked into a glorious daydream. She had thought maybe if she pretended for awhile, it just might come true. After over a year of projecting this blissful mirage, she felt close to tears at the thought of continuing or coming clean. Her faithful readers had become her lifeline, her best friends while she hid her online life from her actual family and friends. They thought she was teaching online all day long. What at first started as a small fib to gain privacy had turned into countless lies to the people she loved. How could she ever share her work with them when it was all fake? They would be shocked and ashamed. She would die of embarrassment and shame.

Evelyn's saving grace was her online tutoring job. After a day full of lies, she switched gears in the afternoon. Working with students after school on their reading and math skills. Those were the few hours of the day where she simply got to be herself and she loved it! She had built such a connection to her students that she couldn't imagine her life without them. Helping them learn, gain confidence, and share a laugh were the sweetest moments of her days.

As Evelyn opened the document to continue working on her current blog post: a how to list on dressing for success, she felt her motivation at an all time low. First of all, how the heck did she know how to dress for success. She spent most of her days stuck inside her apartment behind her computer screen. Secondly, she simply did not care to fake it anymore. She immediately stopped typing as she simply couldn’t write another word that she did not believe in any longer. She couldn’t keep up this façade. She couldn’t tell one more lie. And, in that moment, her resolve took hold. She would NOT lie. She would stop cold turkey. It didn’t matter how hard it would be, how scary it could be, she would never lie again!

How would she begin this fresh new life of hers? Maybe a baby step would ease her into these dangerous waters. How could she start small? Ah! She would text her friend, Cassidy. She would fess up about her real job. Get a feel for her reaction. She took her phone out and composed.

Hey Cass, so I have some news. I haven’t been teaching

online for the past year. I’ve created and been writing my own blog, “Ever After with Eve”. I had a hard time sharing it with people

as it hasn’t exactly been truthful. I’m determined to stop lying

and am going to alter my blog accordingly.

I’m so sorry that I lied to you.

Hope to have your support, Evelyn.

` Evelyn’s heart beat manically. What would Cass think? How would she react to being lied to for over a year! This was insane. Everyone would hate her. No one would stand by her. She would be …

Her phone beeped with the indication of a reply.

Oh my god! Evie! I had no idea. That’s amazing!

I want to check out your blog, now! You are an excellent writer!

I’m sure anything you’ve written has been incredible.

Send me a link. You sneaky girl. Keeping it a secret. Lol.

Okay, thought Evelyn. Her heartbeat returning to a regular level. It’s okay. She’s happy for me. I mean, she will get the shock of a lifetime, reading my fake blog life. But we’ll just laugh about it later. Whew!

Okay, now the big ones: my readers and mom and dad.

A couple hours and multiple drafts later, Evelyn published a new blog post:

Apologies and a Proper Introduction:

“Please allow me to introduce myself

I'm a man of wealth and taste

I've been around for a long, long years

Stole million man's soul an faith…”

So begins a song about the world’s most famous liar. Unfortunately, I feel as though I have much too much in common with said man and I must apologize to you dear readers for my deception. I am not asking for your sympathy but do ask that you hear me out so you can decide for yourself if my blog will still be something you choose to include in your life. I have spent the last year writing to you as my perfect ‘alter-ego Eve’ and so I want to properly introduce you to me; the real Eve: I don’t have it all. I am not a successful writer. I am not in a brilliant relationship. I am no expert on life. I don’t have any answers really. I am a struggling writer and teacher. I am single. I am sick of lying. I want you to know that moving forward my blog will be 100% authentically me. My lifestyle advice: be true to who you are and love yourself. If you are interested in hearing from a struggling young woman searching for meaning and purpose in our modern world, then you will want to keep reading. If you want to gain advice from the perfect woman, you will need to look elsewhere.

I am truly sorry for the lies and deceit I have perpetuated on my beloved blog space to you, my dear readers and kindred spirits, who have offered nothing but your love, support, questions, and prayers to me.

I will never again lie to you.

Faithfully yours,

Eve

Eve closed her computer and turned away. She would not return to her blog until tomorrow. The response would surely be overwhelming. Comments and questions would accumulate. She did not want to see these things today. Today was about making the right choice. Dedicating herself to her future. There would be time to deal with the aftermath and consequences of her readership. She knew she would lose some readers, maybe gain some too. As her blog tone shifted, her readership would shift too. All she could do was pray that there would be someone out there who wanted to read and support her real voice.

And now for the final step of her atonement. She picked up her phone and dialed.

“Hi mom, I need to talk to you…”