Eli: "The hopper goes to the beans."
Kayla: "What?"
Eli: "The hopper goes to the beans. It is quite simple."
Kayla: "What is a hopper, Eli? And no, it isn't simple."
Johnny: "Well, Kayla. A hopper is a tiny haired animal that jumps up on it's two little feet."
Kayla: "So, a bunny?"
Eli: "NO!"
Kayla: "What is so wrong with a bunny? I mean, they hop on their feet."
Johnny: "Kayla. 'Bunny' is a curse word!"
Kayla: "Really? I'm skeptical."
Johnny: "But you don't even have glasses."
Eli: "Yeah, Johnny is right. I mean, are you not supposed to have glasses if you are skeptical?"
Kayla: "Okay, you two are confused. Skeptical means you are unsure about something. Spectacles are glasses."
Eli: "Okay. I'm SO sarsaparilla right now."
Johnny: "I think you meant expired."
Eli: "Oh yeah! That IS what I meant!"
Kayla: "You two are both SO WRONG. You meant exasperated. Like I am with you."
Eli: "Johnny, I think Kayla really needs some beans right now."
Johnny: "Yeah, me too."
Kayla: "What?"
Eli: "Well, beans are tiny things doctors give you when you need to chill out."
Kayla: "Oh my gosh, you are a MORON. Those are PILLS."
Johnny: "No. A pill is how you get pickles to be so good."
Eli: "Yeah. Like pill pickles."
Kayla: "One, it's dill pickles. Two, I am done with this conversation."
*** Kayla leaves the room, with Eli and Johnny staring at each other, very confused. Eli and Johnny leave and go to the grocery store, meeting up with their friend Mike ***
Eli: "Ogres are just furless squirrels."
Mike: "What?"
Johnny: "Eli, that isn't right. You meant that ogres are furless hippos."
Eli: "Thanks, Johnny. You always know the right thing to say."
Mike: "Guys? Hippos are already hairless."
Eli: "Um. Mike. When did you get here?"
Mike: "I've been here. I mean, you guys literally just walked up to me."
Mike: "Kayla called me earlier. She said you two were talking about some sort of hopping thing going to get some beans?"
Eli: "Yeah. I was telling her about Hobbie, and that he was going to buy some beans."
Johnny: "No. You said that Copper was going to the marines."
Eli: "I don't know anymore."
Mike: "Well, do you guys wanna go see a movie or something? I mean, Fairy Tale Projection iii is out in the theater now."
Eli: "What are we, 55?"
Johnny: "Yeah. We should see a movie more for our age. We're only 17. We should watch Shrek."
Mike: "Guys. I hate to break it to you, but Shrek is a old man movie."
Eli: "SHUT UP! IT IS NOT!"
Johnny: "Eli. My sister watches Shrek. She's 28."
Eli: "Isn't that the movie with the ogre guy and the donkey?"
Johnny: "No, I think that's Bella Enchanted."
Mike: "Okay, see ya. I'm leaving."
Eli: "Bye Corbin!"
Mike: "I'm Mike!"
Johnny: "Who?"
*** Mike leaves the store, leaving Johnny and Eli alone again. The boys decide to go to Eli's house ***
Johnny: "Wow. Your house is so big!"
Eli: "I know it is. I mean, 2 rooms? It's gigantic!"
Johnny: "Super gigantic. I mean, my house only have 14 rooms and 3 bathrooms."
Eli: "Aw. I feel so bad. That is such a small number."
Johnny: "And we only have 3 maids. I mean, who only has 3 maids?!"
Eli: "YOU HAVE MAIDS? You must be SUPER lazy."
Johnny: "Well, I'm sorry. I just like having time to myself to play video games."
Eli: "What kind of games do you play?"
Johnny: "Well, I generally play Monopoly."
*** Eli goes into the kitchen, prepping some food ***
Eli: "You want some food?"
Johnny: "Yeah. I'm wrecked. I mean, I haven't eaten in 2 hours."
Eli: "Two hours? That is SUCH a long time!"
Johnny: "I know, right? It's SO crazy. Where's my food?"
Eli: "Here you go! It's some food from my little brothers' cooking set."
Johnny: "This is plastic."
Eli: "No. It's gourmet."
Johnny: "Okay, then."
Eli: "I'm gonna go mow the grass. Be back in a bit!"
*** Eli goes outside and comes back 4 hours later ***
Johnny: "Eli, what happened? You're covered in red circles!"
Eli: "Well yeah. I had to mow the lawn. See?"
Johnny: "Eli. That is a leaf blower."
Eli: "My arms were hairy, and I had to get the hair off!"
Johnny: "Um, genius much? I mean, you are like, the smartest guy I know."
Eli: "Thank you, Johnny."
Johnny: "Wait. I thought you said you were mowing the grass?"
Eli: "Yeah. My arm hair is like grass. I had to mow it off with the leaf mower."
*** Kayla and Mike come into the house ***
Kayla: "Is that a leaf blower?"
Eli: "Nope. It's a leaf mower."
Johnny: "Yeah. Eli just went genius mode on me."
Mike: "How so? I mean, you two are literally the town idiots."
Eli: "Aw. Thank you. That is such a nice compliment."
Mike: "Kayla. Can you help me here? Please?"
Kayla: "Guys. Being an idiot is not a compliment. It means you only have like, three brain cells."
Eli: "I actually took a test, and it said that I only have one brain cell."
Johnny: "YOU HAVE THREE BRAIN CELLS?!?!"
Eli: "No. I have one."
Johnny: "YOU HAVE ONE BRAIN CELL!?!?!"
Eli: "I know. I'm like, a genius."
Kayla: "Oh my gosh, guys. I have 975 brain cells, and they are being WASTED on you."
Johnny & Eli: "YOU HAVE 975 BRAIN CELLS?!?!?!?"
Mike: "You shouldn't have told them."
Kayla: "I can tell that NOW."
Mike: "Bye guys."
Johnny & Eli: "BYE KAYLA AND CORBIN!"
Mike: "MY NAME IS MIKE FOR THE LAST STINKING TIME!"
*** Kayla and Mike leave ***
Johnny: "I gotta get home. My parents are calling me, and I don't want to answer."
Eli: "Okay. Bye Johnny!"
Johnny: "Bye!"
*** Johnny leaves ***
Eli: "I wonder what the hopper is doing right now."
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2 comments
I don't know beans about hoppers. Merry Christmas. Thanks for liking my 'Alyce's Resaurant'.
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Hope you enjoyed this read, Mary!
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