Perfect Strangers

She sat across the table from her husband, watching as he tucked into his dinner and took a drink of his iced tea. He looked up at her and smiled, and she forced herself to smile back. Her own plate remained untouched; she found that her appetite had since disappeared. He took no notice of the fact that she had not started eating; he seemed preoccupied as he always did.

              “Honey, could you pass me the salt?” he asked her, outstretched hand reaching towards her.

              She placed the shaker in his hand. He didn’t bother to thank her as it appeared as though something on his phone had more of his attention than she ever did. This was not new to her though. Work had always taken priority over their marriage.

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“Do you Julian take Marissa to be your lawfully wedded wife; to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer as long as you both shall live? If so, please say I do.”

              “I do!” A smile lit up his entire face as he said it and Marissa soaked it all in.

              “Do you Marissa take Julian to be your lawfully wedded husband; to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer as long as you both shall live? If so, please say I do.”

              Time stood still in that moment. His deep brown eyes gazed into hers and she could see their future, out in front of them and as bright as ever. This was their moment; she wanted it to last forever.

              “I do!” She beamed back at him.

              “By the power vested in me by the state of Missouri, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Julian, you may now kiss your bride.”

              He pulled her close, dipped her down and kissed her like he never had before. All their family and friends whooped and cheered as the officiant formally announced them as Mr. and Mrs. Conklin for the first time. Their future was about to begin.

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              He looked up from his phone for a second to ask her to pass him some more chicken. She picked up a piece with the tongs on the plate and placed it on his plate, which was extended in her direction.

              “Can you throw some more potatoes on there too?” No please. That was typical.

              She placed a spoonful of potatoes on the plate and threw a pat of butter on them out of habit. He immediately started to eat again and went back to answering emails. She was once again left alone with her thoughts and now lukewarm chicken. She picked off a piece and put it in her mouth. She had to admit; it was superb, but she felt as though her stomach was filled with concrete.

              She took a swig of her own iced tea to wash down the small bite she had taken and took another. She chewed slowly, trying to keep herself busy so she did not notice the wall of silence between her and her husband.

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              “Okay guys, are we ready to see your baby?”

              “Absolutely!” they both shouted at the same time, and Julian squeezed her hand in excitement. Marissa had been experiencing some light cramping, but the doctor had assured her that everything was fine; her body was just making room for the precious cargo she was now carrying.

              The ultrasound tech spread the cold jelly on Marissa’s abdomen, and she shivered a little and laughed. The tech offered a kind smile and placed the wand over her abdomen and started moving it around slowly, trying to catch a glimpse of their tiny baby.

              “Sometimes when it is this early, it can be hard to locate the little one right away. Just hang in there a little bit longer; we should be making contact shortly.” She once again smiled, but this one felt just a little less warm. Marissa’s heart started to race a little and her palms started to sweat.

              The tech kept running the wand over her abdomen, each pass still showing the same empty space where a baby should be. They heard no heartbeat, could see no sign of life on the screen. The tech set down the wand and excused herself to go find a doctor.

              Julian kissed her knuckles on the hand that he was now holding just a little too tight. A tear escaped her eye and fell down her cheek and she stifled a sob. She did enough research to know this was not going to end well.

              The doctor confirmed her suspicions. She had miscarried. There was no explanation why; sometimes there never was according to the doctor, but all Marissa could think was how this was all her fault. She had to have done something wrong to deserve this. The doctor assured them they could try again in a couple of months, assuring them that next time would be it.

              How wrong that doctor turned out to be.

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              She watched as he took another bite, then another drink, and then another bite until his plate was cleared. Her own plate was barely even touched, but she cleared the dinner dishes and brought out the chocolate cake she had made for dessert.

              Julian cut the cake into slices, and Marissa placed a slice on each dessert plate and handed him one. No thank you. Of course. He pulled up yet another work email on his phone and she returned to her seat across the table.

              He wolfed down his cake in record time and cut himself another piece.

              “This is delicious honey,” he said, not looking up from his phone.

              “Thank you darling,” she responded. “I tried that recipe your mother sent me. She said it was your favorite as a boy.”

              No further comment was made. She expected that. Every effort she made in recent years was met with silence. She would rather have him scream at her or cry or something, but all she got was quick smiles and silence. It was driving her insane.

              It used to be so perfect. How did they get here?

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              “Hey, I’ll be home late again tonight. Boss needs me to stay and finish up a couple of proposals. Can you set aside a plate for me?”

              She felt the frustration bubbling up inside her, but she chose not to pick this same tired fight tonight.

              “Of course, I’ll see you when you get home.”

              “Thanks, bye.” Click.

              He didn’t say “I love you,” which was odd, but starting to become a normal occurrence. Ever since she had a fourth miscarriage last month, he had started slowly pushing her away. He said he did not blame her, but she knew deep down he did. He desperately wanted children, but she apparently couldn’t give them to him.

              She worked on finishing up dinner and sat down to eat alone. She poured herself a glass of wine and turned on the TV for some background noise while she ate. She hated the silence his absence created. Her phone screen lit up, and she saw that she got a text from him.

              She opened the text and immediately dropped her phone.

              “See you later sexy. Can’t wait.”

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              They both had finished their slices of cake, and he now sat back in his chair still working his way through work emails. She cleared the dishes from dessert and started to clear all the dinner dishes from the table and put the food away. He never looked up.

              His phone rang. She was in the kitchen washing dishes, so she did not hear it, nor did she hear the conversation, but when he stepped into the kitchen to let her know he was leaving, she knew it was not work calling him away from home tonight. She chose to say nothing, she just accepted his excuses. He kissed her on the cheek, and off he went.

              The door slammed behind him.

              She was alone.

              Silence.