Samhain Nights

*Prayers and information taken from the Learn Religions website: https://www.learnreligions.com/about-samhain-prayers-4079509 *

Samhain was complicated this year, more so than normal. The coronavirus had hit, and we just couldn’t celebrate the way we used to. The ladies and I decided to socially distance for two weeks straight prior to ensure safety of all participants. Everything I had for food, ingredients, and decoration was ordered or already in the house.

There were many children in this neighborhood. As much as I tried to clear the coronavirus before Halloween arrived through some cleansing spells, they hadn't taken. I can only command and manifest so many energies for the spells to take when there was so much negative energy surrounding it. I purchased the ghost bags from Amazon and filled them with candy. The tree out front still had plenty of drying leaves, so I hung up the ghost bags on the branches at different heights. The kids deserved to have some treats out of this nightmare of a year. 

"Need help?" Daniel asked between sips of apple cider. He was wearing a cozy, cream colored knitted sweater and some relaxed jeans. 

I smiled and leaned against the tree, wondering how I'd gotten so lucky to have him be my partner. Our wedding had been postponed because of COVID, so we were still waiting to get married in our small ceremony when everything was safe. 

I walked over and wrapped my arms around his waist. "I think I'm finished out here." 

He wrapped an arm around him. "Looks real cute, Raven." He kissed my forehead. "Do we have any candy left?"

I grinned. "I'm willing to share." 

He laughed. "Great cider, too," he said as he led me inside our home. 

"So, when are the girls getting here?" Daniel asked, picking up a Reese's from the candy bowl. 

"Around 6 ish?" I shrugged. "Are you participating?"

"College ball starts in an hour," he said, sheepish. 

I smiled. "I totally understand. I'd watch right with you if Samhain wasn't today. There's so much to do." 

"If you need me to help you with anything, just tell me. I can set up the TV in the living room, and we can watch from the kitchen while we cook." 

I reached up and pressed my lips to his. 

"I've set up the tables and chairs outside around the fireplace," he added. 

I kissed him again. "Thank you, love." 

"I'm happy to help. Especially if you're making pie." 

I laughed. "Pumpkin today, as is tradition. And pumpkin bread. I made a loaf just for you." 

"What else are you making?" he asked before slicing himself a piece of bread. 

"Colcannon. Irish beef stew and pumpkin." I pointed at the different food stations and the soups going on the stovetop. "Someone else in the group is bringing meat pies, probably Daisy and Sunny. Someone else is making some turnip and rooted medley. And someone else is making barmbrack. I think Melody. And I know Cammie is bringing the soul cakes." I shrugged. "It's on the Google docs." 

He nodded. "Very good, but...no cauldrons?" His tone was teasing. His Samhain knowledge was vast; he'd participated many years, so he knew how off the Hollywood depiction of witches was. 

My tone was just as teasing. "No. We aren't cooking children this year, and the cauldron is too big for just soup. And because of COVID-19, we can't fly on our broomsticks." 

He laughed. "Why does COVID impact flying?"

"The germs, Daniel. The germs. Like a bug running into a windshield." 

He kissed my hair. "Alright, dear. The point is made. I'll go make sure we have enough firewood for the bonfire." 

"Thank you, love," I said before pulling him down for a kiss that would be blush inducing in front of other people. 

"Anything for you, babe," he said, brushing his fingers against my cheek, lingering for a second. He checked the time. "Alright. Let me get to steppin'. I turn into a pumpkin at noon." 

"Tis the season."

# 

The day was full of traditions. I cleaned the front door and back door with sage and rosemary essential oils. I smoked the home with mugwort and sweetgrass after making sure there was proper ventilation. I set up marigold arrangements on the tables Daniel arranged. 

I started the altar last. This would be the first year without my grandmother, Sage. She passed away before COVID started and was the only remaining family I had. When my mother remarried, it became obvious I wasn't wanted. Grammie Sage took me in. I picked up her picture, taken in last year's Samhain, and put it to my chest. We'd done all of these traditions together for nearly two decades. This was my first year doing them without her. 

Roses were her favorite. So next to her picture when I set it down on the altar, I placed the purest white roses next to it. I stared for a few seconds at the altar, oddly comforted. 

The buzz of my phone in my pocket brought me back to focus. Our group chat now had a new message. 

Cammie: Omw! 

That was my cue. Time to get dressed. I slipped into a lace black and burgundy dress and some black booties. I curled my hair and did very minimal makeup, just some eyeliner on my lids and a soft rose lipstick. I completed the look with my Grammy's pentagram necklace, struggling to get it on before Daniel came and helped me clasp it behind my neck. 

"Ready?" he asked. 

I exhaled and nodded. 

"You look beautiful. And your friends are here."

I smiled at him and turned around to hug him. 

Making themselves at home were the group of our socially distanced circle. Usually we would get more witches, but some of the ladies didn't want to travel or get exposed to COVID. I understood. The younger ones, the ones I grew up with, had all been socially distancing and showed up. 

"Happy Samhain!" Cammie murmured, pulling me into a hug. All of the girls joined in. 

"Hey!" I said and immediately perked, happily. 

"We brought some food!" Sunny said, pointing at the dining table where they set that down. 

I smiled. "If everyone is still okay to eat outside near the fire?" 

They nodded. "Yeah, works for me!" Melody replied. 

Daniel walked in quietly. 

"Are you joining us today?" Cammie asked him. 

"Ohio is playing Penn State," he said apologetically. 

"Booooo!" the girls said before we erupted into laughter. 

"Alright. Have fun. If you need me, I'll be on the couch."

He pressed a quick kiss to my lips before taking his bowl of candy to the television. 

We picked up the food and went to the backyard. I set up the feast while the gals added to the altar. It was livelier with the decorations of death, the skulls, skeletons, pumpkins, ear corns, and harvest roots. We started with the first tradition after the altar was set up.  We all started by writing down the things we wanted to get rid of this year. 

The mourning of my grandmother to cease

The end of the nation’s coronavirus, unrest, and injustice

The insomnia

The ache in Daniel’s knee on cold days

I brought the things in my life I wanted to end, but I felt like I also needed to include the things keeping the peace in the world. The world these days was too cold, too frustrating, too stressful to live in. I hoped to heal the heart of everything this world was. Before I threw the paper in the fire, I wrote down the one thing that I included every year. 

The anger at my mother

The last one was there every year even though it wasn’t always a problem. But some days, some seasons, it was a hard pill to swallow. The people that were supposed to love me the most didn’t. I didn’t feel anything for my father; I never knew the man. My mother, I knew her. I loved her. She didn’t. When I needed her, she wasn’t there.  

I threw the paper into the flame, watching the fire turn the white to black to ash. It was consumed in a matter of seconds.  

“Harvest prayer?” Daisy asked.

We nodded, and started. 

Corn has been shucked,

grain has been threshed,

herbs have been hung to dry.

Grapes have been pressed,

potatoes have been dug,

beans have been shelled and canned.

It is the harvest season,

and food is ready for winter.

We will eat, and we will live,

and we will be grateful.

We placed some food and wines on the altar in front of some of the symbolism to some of our gods and goddesses. Then we said the following prayer, to thank them for the harvests, and for the life we had this past year. 

The harvest has ended, and the fields are bare.

The earth has grown cold, and the land is empty.

The gods of the death are lingering over us,

keeping a watchful eye upon the living.

They wait, patiently, for eternity is theirs.

Hail to you, Anubis! O jackal headed one,

guardian of the realm of the dead.

When my time comes, I hope

you may deem me worthy.

Hail to you, Demeter! O mother of darkness,

May your grief be abated

when your daughter returns once more.

Hail to you, Hecate! O keeper of the gate,

between this world and the underworld.

I ask that when I cross over,

you may guide me with wisdom.

Hail to you, Freya! O mistress of Folkvangr,

guardian of those who fall in battle.

Keep the souls of my ancestors with you.

Hail to you, O gods and goddesses,

those of you who guard the underworld

and guide the dead on their final journey.

At this time of cold and dark,

I honor you, and ask that you watch over me,

and protect me when the day arrives

that I take my final journey.

Grammie was big on seances most Samhains. This year, we would focus our energy on her and some other people we wanted to talk to, and try to bring everyone into communication. We tended to do this before we had dinner. The food was warm from the fire burning near it. We drew a circle on the ground with white sand and started lighting the candles and burning incense. In each of the four directions sat a candle. Cammie, the oldest and the one with more experience, took on the role of the high priestess and brought the deities and traditions, starting the ceremony with prayers and lighting of the candles. 

When the circle was finally cast, we each walked up individually. 

“How do you enter the circle?” Cammie asked. 

“In perfect love and perfect trust,” we responded.

They all looked at me, knowing that Grammie was the most important one we needed to talk to. 

I started. “Grammie Sage, we respectfully ask that you honor us with your presence this evening.” 

I waited for a second and then felt a breeze. It was as strong a wind as she was a person. Cammie looked at me and nodded. I felt like my connection as a witch had faltered since Grammie died. 

“Are you okay?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper. 

Cammie spoke. “She says she’s fine.”

“Anything she needs done? Anything she wishes she could have seen before she passed?”

Cammie waited for a second. “She wished she could have seen you get married.”    

I sighed. “Me too, Grammie.”

It ran through my head, how much we’d always talked about my wedding, what it would be like, where it would be. We talked about her walking me down the aisle and giving me away. It would be something small. The wedding would probably simply have my witchy sisters and some college friends and Daniel’s family and friends. His side would likely be vastly bigger than mine...

But there is nothing to say that we couldn’t have a witchy wedding tonight, so she could see me and walk with me.

“Would Grammie be open to...having a small wedding tonight?” I asked.

Cammie waited again and nodded. 

I looked around. The girls looked quite excited. 

I smiled and contained the energy that threatened to burst. “Okay, Grammie. Let’s give everyone else a chance to say their piece.”

But I could’ve spoken to a wall and gotten the same response. The seance very quickly ended and so did the circle. When it was safe to rescind, I went looking for Daniel. He was sitting with wrappers around him on the couch. I smiled hesitantly while knocking on the wall next to me. 

He smiled when he saw me. “Hey!”

“Hi.” I walked towards him. 

“What’s up?”

“So I was talking to Grammie,” I started and looked around. There were commercials playing.

“Yes?” he asked, encouraging me to continue. 

I sat down next to him. “Well, she mentioned she was disappointed she never got to see me get married.”

“Okay?”

“So...can we get married today? Nothing official or legal, it’s just...Samhain...she could walk with me...” I trailed off. 

“Are you asking me to marry you?” 

“We can still have the legal ceremony with your family. I just want my grammie around...you know?”

He laughed and kissed me. “Of course, Raven. Anything you want, darlin’!” He stood up. “Let me go get a quick shave in and put on some different clothes, and I’ll be right out.” 

I hugged him before he could go. “I love you.”

He kissed my forehead. “I love you, too.”

He then disappeared into the bedroom. I quickly went downstairs with the gals. 

“It’s happening.”

Suddenly, I was sitting and flowers were being braided into my hair by Daisy. Cammie was getting a floral bouquet started with some of the flowers in the altar, as a representation of the departed walking with me. Brushes swept on my face, more dramatic makeup reflecting on the mirror.  

Cammie came into the room with a calm smile, “He’s ready for you.”

And suddenly, I was up on my feet. I walked to the backyard to see him standing near the altar and fire. He looked at me and a smile crossed his face once more. He was dressed fully in black, his favorite leather jacket, a dress shirt, and some slacks. In the dark clothes, he was brilliant and bright.

My mouth was dry, but I felt a breeze move my feet and a strength in my arms. I felt her, felt my grandmother walking with me towards the man she herself loved dearly and approved of wholly from the moment I brought him home. 

When I took his hands, everything was okay. 

There was no preparation for this. Cammie started this impromptu ceremony with thanking the gods and goddesses again for being here to witness this and allowing my Grammie to be here with me. 

We didn’t have rings. We didn’t have the band, nor the floral arrangements, but we had each other. And there wasn’t anything else I could have wanted. 

“I promise to love you and care for you in this life and the next,” he said to me.

“And I promise to love you, care for you, and watch football with you in any life we may share,” I said back, eliciting a small chuckle from him. 

“By Hera’s blessing, we declare you wife and husband. You may kiss each other.”

Daniel took me in his arms and we kissed each other, the scent of his aftershave intoxicatingly perfect and complimentary to all of the other scents in this backyard. 

I felt my eyes fill with tears, felt the breeze again around me. A small gasp from Daniel told me he felt it too.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“Anything for you.”

#

When the ladies had finally left, I went to the bathroom to start getting ready for bed. Daniel was already in there, sitting on the edge of the tub. 

"Anise and sea salt, right?" he asked when he heard me walk in.

"Yes," I murmured before walking over. 

"The water is a bit too hot right now," he said, the steam lifting. 

I pulled my dress over my head before I got inside the tub. 

"Are you joining me?" I asked. 

He laughed. "Only if you want me to." 

I nodded. 

He complied, slightly startled by the heat of the water. I guided him in to sit against me, and I wrapped my arms and legs around his body. I pressed small kisses to his face and neck and shoulders. 

"How are you doing, Raven?" he asked. 

"Exhausted." 

"I meant...about your grandmother." 

"Well, she's been the only family I've ever known. Today was...hard. But I don't know. I felt her walking with me. I don't feel alone. I still feel like she's around in some way…"

He leaned his head back to look at me, and I pressed a kiss to his mouth. 

"I'm here for you, too," he murmured. 

I smiled. "I know." I sighed. "If this dang COVID lifts, we could get married by law and not just witchy ceremonies." 

"Legally married or not, I am already your husband. My life is yours." 

"And mine thine."

He closed his eyes and wrapped me tighter around him. The silence that lingered in the air was enough. Even though the darkness was approaching and the season of death and decay was coming, there was enough light and life here to last a lifetime. 

“Happy Samhain, Raven.”

Happy Samhain indeed.