You’re Not Joe

It started out just like any other work day...lousy. Tonight was even

worse! There was a blizzard blowing outside. It was one of those nights that I was glad that I worked indoors. My job as night janitor can get monotonous...even downright boring at times. Enter the office, first sweep around the room is to dust and collect the trash. Second sweep is to straighten anything that is out of place and vacuum the floor. Same thing every office every night. I expected more of the same tonight. It didn’t matter to me that it was Christmas Eve. I have no family to spend the night with. Well, at least none that I would want to spend time with. I do have a nerdy brother who is always going on and on about one project or another that he’s working on. I have no interest in such things. It makes me wonder how we could be related, but I digress. I have fifteen floors with ten offices on each floor to clean. Today I sign in with security and decide to start with the lobby and work my way up to the top floor. I was kinda in the mood to talk to someone and tonight Joe was on duty in the lobby. We chatted for a while about Christmas and the lack of people to spend the holiday with, sports (or the lack thereof), and a few inconsequential topics that were only of interest to the two of us. It took me all of about thirty minutes to clean the lobby, and since there was no carpet, I washed the floor as I headed off to the elevator. 

Once inside the elevator, I pushed the mop bucket full of dirty water off to one side and pushed the button for the second floor and leaned the wet mop against the corner where it would not tip over when the elevator moved. In one office, make the two sweeps around it and out again. Over and over, floor after floor. I usually stop on the seventh floor for my breaks. This floor has fewer offices because the cafeteria is there. Since it is night, the cafeteria’s kitchen is closed. But I have access to the microwave so I can reheat my lunch. I liked taking my breaks there because I have an awesome view of the city from this floor. I’m not too high so I’m not looking down on rooftops. I can see into the surrounding buildings. Tonight’s view was of people having office parties. In one building down the street it seemed as if every floor was having one. I wonder why people are in their offices when they should have been with their families. All too soon my break was over and I had another eight floors to clean. 

More cleaning with the same, dreary pattern. Finally I got to the top floor. Something was off, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I worked my way down the corridor cleaning office 1501, then 1502 which was across the corridor. I worked zig zagging my way down the corridor. Around the corner and I finally noticed what felt off. There was a new door! The sign on the door read “No Admittance”. I checked my keys. There wasn’t a new key. I tried the door. It opened into a stairwell. By now I was bone tired but my curiosity got the better of me. I climbed the stairs, all the while I was hoping that I wouldn’t be caught. I also wondered how I could have missed seeing this door all these months. Then it finally dawned on me, just as I reached the top of the stairs...I traded assignments with the other janitor, Sue. She wanted to finish early and took my offices. I usually do only the other five offices on each floor. No wonder I was so bloody tired! I was doing twice the work! I stopped in front of a very heavy door and wondered what was so special about this stairway. 

Slowly I pushed the door open. It opened out onto the roof. Instinct told me to prop the door open with the brick that was leaning against the wall just inside the door. I thought I could hear the blizzard raging. But somehow, it was calm on the roof. I walked out onto the roof and took in the cold night air. As I surveyed the surrounding city-scape and the swirling blizzard around the building, I heard the faint tinkling of bells. I slowly turned in the direction of the growing jingling bell sound. I couldn’t believe my eyes! Through the haze caused by the blizzard I could barely make out a shape. Reindeer really do know how to fly! I just stood there with my mouth hanging. Eight reindeer with a red sled expertly stopped on the roof right in front of me! As I stared in awe, the rider in the sleigh, a corpulent man with a white beard wearing a red suit with white trim climbed out of the sleigh. He took a limp green sack out of the sleigh and then turned and stared at me. Eventually he spoke…”You’re not Joe” he said as he walked towards the propped open door. I slowly stepped aside and let him pass, my mouth still hanging open. He went inside and I instinctively followed. He went down the stairs and headed off down the corridor. I caught up with him as we rounded the corner. We were now on the side where my usual offices were located. Suddenly a new door appeared.

The red suit clad man paused, looked at me and said, “You’re not supposed to be here. Usually Joe helps me. Since he’s not here, I guess you’ll do. Follow me.” And he opened the mysterious new door. Inside was amazing! Simply amazing! Bedlam and chaos were running rampant! People were scurrying around everywhere! Inside this mysterious new office was larger than it appeared! I could only stand there and stare! So much was happening and it was all very unbelievable! If I hadn’t seen it for myself, I wouldn’t have believed it! It finally dawned on me that these people were children, or so I thought. 

“Well, what are you waiting for?” the red suit clad man said. “We have work to do!” And before I knew it, someone had taken my left hand and was pulling me rather urgently along the wake of that man. I numbly followed his path into a building that the sign on the door said “Workshop”. My reverie was disturbed by another tiny person telling me to take the two bags in their hands. Feebly I grabbed them and once again followed the red suit clad man. Back out the “workshop” door, across wherever it was where we were, through the mysterious and unexpected door, down the corridor, up the stairs and back to the sleigh. “Please put those in the back” said the man. “Young man” he said, “I must ask you not to tell anyone about this” he said as he climbed back into the sleigh, shook the reins and the reindeer took off down the street,

I don’t know how long I stood there staring after them. Eventually I was disturbed by Joe. “He’s real, y’know” Joe said. Slowly I turned my gaze in his direction. Joe was standing in the doorway. “I don’t know what happened to me, I shouldn’t have been so distracted tonight” Joe continued. “There was a ruckus outside our front door that kept me busy. Thanks for helping him tonight.” Joe concluded as we closed the door and went back to our duties. Right after the door closed, I realized that the blizzard was once again raging just outside that door. Joe had his patrol to finish and I had two more offices to clean. I don’t think anyone would believe me even if I did tell.