You Were Always Beautiful

“This is ridiculous,” Austin said, looking in the mirror smoothing down the black dress that hugged her body, “you cannot wear a little black dress to your high school reunion”. She heads over to the closet when Mike walks over behind her and rubs her shoulders. 

“You can wear whatever you want to this thing. These people haven’t seen you in ten years. Wear the black dress baby” he kisses her on the temple.

“I don’t deserve you,” she says feeling warm from his embrace and words.

“I know!” he jokes pushing at her buttons

“Ass” she smirks

“You love it” 

In fact, she did love it, that’s why she married him. It was almost reassuring knowing that Mike was a smartass because he was also the sweetest soul she knew. He was a perfect balance. She examines her complete outfit in the mirror, the black dress did compliment her and she felt her most confident in black. Ten years, she couldn't help thinking what it would be like to see all the people she left behind,  Lonnie, Sam. . . . Macey. Ten years was a long time and a lot could change and she couldn’t wait to see how others have changed or if they even had. 

“Did you call the ride?” she asked 

“Told them to stock the mini-fridge too”

“You’re so hot”

They both bust out laughing, enjoying each other's company. If Austin knew anything it was that her man knew her, she found comfort in that. 4 years of marriage and it really did get better every year. This year was going to top the cake, she gets to show him off at a place she never liked, she was proud of him. It was Mike who talked her into going after she read him the invitation that was sent She wasn’t even sure how they got a hold of her. She didn’t do social media and lived across the country, which would explain why she was getting ready in a suite waiting for a limo to escort her. Was a limo too much? Maybe but she didn’t care just like she didn’t care about the reunion. It was almost sad how unexcited she was to--as Mike put it-- reconnect with some people she once knew. 

“Can you believe I used to be fat?” she said checking herself out in the mirror. After high school, she was a whopping 5’5 and 336 pounds.

“And you were beautiful back then.” Mike said coming out of the bathroom with a present in his hand, “also, this is a you open it you wear it gift!”

“Dang my love language!” she whined knowing that it was a gag gift. She ripped the tissue paper out of the bag and pulled out a black box. “Listen if you’re trying to propose, you’re about 4 years too late!”

“Maybe not after you open it” Mike laughed, rubbing his hands together. Austin opens the little black box and her eyes widen with surprise then turn to slits. 

“No.” 

“You know the rules.”

“To hell with the rules”

“You signed a contract”

If Austin was one thing it was a businesswoman and if Mike knew one thing it was her. Upon getting married they drew up a contract that was filled with a bunch of little things that they hoped would keep their marriage alive. 

“How could you!” she said putting on her best pouty face

“Oh you are so cute,” Mike said, grabbing her face and kissing her, “But you’re wearing it. I’ll even put it on.”

The driver opened the door and Austin stepped out of the limo a little wobbly from taking full advantage of the minibar on the hour drive. She fought hard for a 5-star hotel and didn’t settle for this exact moment. 

“I hope you’re happy” she sputtered to Mike straightening herself up.

“I have a wife who can handle her alcohol, I can appreciate that”. He laughed putting his arm around her. 

“You have ten steps to change your mind!”

“I’m not doing it!”

“Then I mean it no sex for two weeks!” 

“I waited 24 years before.”

“I need another drink,” she said rolling her eyes. She was so distracted that she didn’t take notice of the girl who stood by the door passing out fliers.

“No way that’s you, Austin Jane”

“Oh great” Austin muttered under her breath. “Surprise. I even wore my fat pin” If there was ever a moment when Austin wanted to kick herself it would be now. 

“Oh no, I was hoping you’d have ditched that by now” the woman replied, “water under the bridge ya know?” she waved her hand nonchalantly, “I have kept up with your mother. I know about your weight loss and marriage! Congrats by the way” 

“Thanks,” Austin said awkwardly, looking around for the man she had married to rescue her, great she thought of finding him chatting to someone. 

“Look Austin. I-”

“Sam. Our moms were best friends growing up that’s it. You didn’t owe me anything. I was fat, you were popular. That’s how high school goes but this is real life now and like you said water under the bridge” she waved her hand then pulled the door open and marched inside.

She wasn’t sure why she was mad but something inside her was dying to get out and she was afraid if she didn’t get away all those late-night hate speeches were bound to come out. Water under the bridge? Who is she?  Austin was dying for a cigarette right now and she stopped smoking ages ago. She just couldn’t get over the fact that Sam thought that treating her like that was somehow excusable because they were grown and she was skinny. She stormed into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. The girl staring back at her didn’t belong here, she never had. She shook her hands as if to strangle herself in the mirror letting out frustration. 

“You look like you need a cig” a soft voice came from behind her.

Austin didn’t need to see her to know who it was.

“Lonnie.” she looked her over, “I see you’re still a hippy” 

“I see you’re not fat” Lonnie smirked at her before holding out her cig.

“One puff that’s it,” Austin said walking over to the window where Lonnie sat. “Dreads huh?”

“You don’t like them?” she asked raising her eyebrow

“They are- you”

“Those legs aren’t you,” Lonnie said laughing

“I know. Check them out” Austin stood up doing a model walk, “I worked my ass off for these legs.”

“Literally,” Lonnie said 

“Ass”
“That’s your type right?” 

“I guess some girls never learn” Austin looked at Lonnie and half-smiled.

“I’m happy for you. You’re skinny and still cool” Lonnie bumped her shoulder then stood up. “Finish her up. You need it more than I do. I’ll see you around. Nice pin by the way!” 

Before Austin could say anything else Lonnie disappeared out the door. She took a long drag of the cigarette letting a slow breath out, almost like she hadn’t stopped smoking at all. It was everything she needed it to be and she took another hit feeling even more at ease. She smiled at the thought of Lonnie, something she hadn’t done in a long time. When she finally flushed the cig down the toilet she knew she had to get a drink before Mike could smell her breath. It was her luck that as soon as she walked out he was waiting for her. He looked so cool standing there in front of the sports case. 

“I’ve been looking for you,” he says, holding out a drink.

“Can we leave now?” she was desperate as she looked around starting to make sense of what was really happening. “I have a fat picture pinned to this dress that was given to me in 10th grade. I am pathetic.”

“I’ve been hit on already,” Mike said smiling proudly

“No way by who? Let it be Macey. That’s the only way we are staying” she grinned ready to smear it in Macey's face how hot her husband was. 

“If you would have kept any high school yearbook or I don’t know to exist in the social media world. I would have been able to tell you.”

“What color was her hair?” Austin asked, but didn’t let him finish, “too blonde” she scoffed

“Exactly how I would describe it” it was clear she took the words right out of his mouth. 

“It was her, let’s go,” she said sliding her arm through his and pulling him into the gymnasium. 

It was packed with people as the music drowned out the noise. It was still the same old gym with the same old bleachers. As she looked around the only thing she noted that changed was the new basketball rims. It was nicely decorated and she could tell someone spent a lot of time planning this out like it was somehow important. She took a sip of her drink which turned into a chug. 

“I need another drink,” she said wondering when her confidence was going to kick in. 

“This one you sip” Mike’s voice went deep and she knew he meant it. She nodded her head and watched him walk over to the drink table. 

She didn’t want Mike to worry about her so she had already decided that he won, she would indeed sip this drink. What’s the point of getting blackout drunk here, the last thing she wanted to do was leave an even worse rep. She looked around to try and see if she recognized anyone. It was then that her eyes lit up and her heart grew. She worked her way through the other side of the crowd until her hands fell on an elderly woman.

“Mrs. Riley,” she said, her eyes swelling with tears at the sight of her favorite teacher.

“Austin? That you?” she said her voice shaky

“Yes. Mrs. Riley, it’s me! How are you!” 

The woman didn’t answer, instead, she pulled Austin into an embrace. It was a few minutes before she pulled away.

“ I have prayed for you every day! Call me Marie you aren’t my student anymore” she said

“I have thought about you every day. You changed my life.” Austin said grabbing the teachers hand, 

“Now don’t make me cry,” Marie said, fanning her face, “You look so good. Not that you weren’t ever not beautiful. “

“You sound like my husband!” Austin said sarcastically

“A husband? Ohh- I always knew someone would snatch you up! A heart like that is hard to come by” Marie said, touching her own heart. “What are you doing?”

“I actually own my own party planning business.” Austin said, “it’s really successful and it’s grown so much. I employ over 2000 women” 

“I am so proud of you.” Marie said, “I always have been”

Austin looked around for Mike with her hands on her hips. She was feeling a lot better after seeing her teacher and when she had the chance to end the conversation she took it to wrangle up her drink. She spotted Mike still by the drink table talking to a guy she couldn’t recognize. 

“Hey babe!” he said, handing her the drink in his hand, “you might need some more ice”  he turned back to his conversation and she walked over to the ice bowl.

Leave it to my husband to have more fun than me at my reunion. She scooped some ice into her cup wishing she had her flask. 

“Need a spike” Lonnie’s voice came from behind her.

“You are fueling my bad habits tonight,” Austin said, turning around smiling. 

“You were always good at keeping secrets,” she smirked pulling out her shiny flask,

“I am a married woman” Austin raised her eyebrows

“Come on Austin. You really think one kiss is worth pining over your whole life?” she held up her hand which had a gold band around it.

“Oh my gosh. You got married?” Austin stifled back a laugh, “man or woman?” 

“Man. We have two kids” Lonnie said proudly 

“Kids? You pushed a child out of yo-”

“Sure did. Hurt like a bitch too” Lonnie said laughing 

“You’re so cool,” Austin said, admiring her old friend. 

“So is your stud of a husband over there talking to mine” Lonnie nodded over to where Mike stood talking to the random guy. 

“Oh gosh. Mike likes to make long term friendships” Austin warned

“I almost left Dallas at home because of how social he is” Lonnie admitted shaking her head with laughter. 

“Well spike my drink and let’s get over there” 

It wasn’t until static erupted in the room that the group stopped chatting and laughing. Austin had almost forgotten that she wasn’t supposed to be having fun. Lonnie and Dallas were actually really cute together and Mike was totally in love with them. He even made light of the fact that Lonnie was her first kiss. The night almost didn’t need another drink Austin was beginning to think. 

“Hello Class of 2010!” A high pitched voice boomed. 

Macey.  Austin looked towards the stage, her eyes slit. 

“Austin really hates Macey,” Lonnie said, putting her hand on Austin’s shoulder.

“She is just cruel.” and she really was. Austin wasn’t making this up, the amount of evil that was in that girl should have driven her to kill herself, some days she thought about it. Sam was bad, sure, but it was only because she took her orders from Macey and her too blonde hair., “And it’s 2020 get over the blonde hair dude. This isn’t Texas.” Now she was feeling like she should and right when she was about to take off she saw Mike leave. Bless his heart, he loves me. Macey was wrong. 

“My name is Macey Butts, Maiden name McClain.  I am so happy that I had the privilege of hosting this year's reunion. I hope that everyone is enjoying themselves and catching up with old friends. Please take some time to head over to the voting station! The winners of each category get a fifty-dollar visa gift card! Enjoy everyone.” She stood up there a little longer and Austin stared at her stifling back a laugh. She looked at Lonnie and she was doing the same,

“Butts? Really”

“Karma” Lonnie laughed.

“Heard she was hitting on my husband too” 

The pause between them allowed Austin to make a move. She walked past Mike swiping her drink and went to find Macey. By the time she found her out in the hallway, her drink was half-way gone. This was her big moment. It was time to stick it to Macey McClain and it was going to be great. 

“Austin? Is that you?” Macey said, glancing her up and down. 

“Yeah, it is. If you are wondering what I used to look like here’s the pin you gave me in high school.”

Macey was silent for a moment unsure of what to say. She looked nervous and the dark circles under her eyes gave light into a side of her Austin never knew. 

“Austin.” Macey took a deep breath, “I know that there is nothing I can say to you-- I know what kind of person I used to be. I know I was cruel and evil and you probably hate. It took me years in therapy to not hate myself.”

 She paused for a second collecting her thoughts. Austin wasn’t sure if she should say anything, and even more than that, she wasn’t sure if she had anything to say. 

“Austin” Macey reached out and grabbed her hands looking her in her eyes, “I am so sorry for how I treated you. I am so sorry that I inflicted such trauma to you. I am sorry that I was a piece of crap person who had a clouded presumption of the world. People kill themselves because of the things I did to you. I am so thankful God made you strong because I was so wrong about you.”

“I know.” Austin was at a loss for words. How could she not be? She coming over to tell Macey off after ten years of preparing her argument to turn into Macey apologizing. “Why? Why now are you sorry? How come you didn’t feel any remorse back then?”

“My husband.” Macey’s eyes looked tired, “He passed away three years ago. He had brain cancer. He changed my life.-- Then silly me, the one time I try to open up the guy ends up married” she rolls her eyes, “They never tell you in high school that popularity doesn’t matter. It’s not until you’re all alone wearing the scent off your husband's clothes that you think of the type of person you used to be back then.” She finally let go of Austin’s hands and she swiped a tear from her cheek. “I would love to stay and chat but I have to get the apps started.”

Mike stumbled across Austin almost an hour later. She was outside sitting on the bleachers of the football stadium.

“I’ve been looking for you”

“I’ve been lost.” She looked over at Mike and smiled

“Are you okay?” he said, placing his jacket over her shoulders.

“You loved me when I was fat” 

“I did.”
“Why?”

“Because your heart was so beautiful and strong”

“I was going to let Macey have it.”

“Oh yeah- what changed?”

“She told me her husband died.”

“You’re a good person.”

“She said she was sorry for how she treated me”

“She should have. She was wrong.”

“She said that too . . .” Austin looked up at the sky and let out a sigh, “Do I have to forgive her?”

“That’s up to you.” 

“Jesus would.”

“Yes he would” 

“I would like to go home now” she smiled, “I think this is the best high school is gonna get for me.