We need us

Are you there ? The message flashed in my oppo phone whatsapp as I was taking a sip of my hot ginger tea at four in the evening. Hi was his first message I tried to ignore.

It was him. Again texting me to know my whereabouts. My husband. We were living far from each other for last six months, probably for the first time in ten years of our marriage. I took a deep sigh while holding my phone and trying to go through whatsapp messages. I wished to text him back. I really needed to but still I did not.

Are you fine now? How is your health post-covid? Two messages popped up again..this time I could not stop but take my phone with a double pace and start typing, ok now.

How are you? Went a text message from this end. Ok came reply in no seconds.

Are you happy na? I texted instantly and kept phone with a jerk on the table...I went on busy with my tea then hoping in my mind for a nice reply or atleast some smileys.

How can I be happy without you ? Came the reply.. I was wet in my heart and shivering as I read it. Does he still remember me? He needs me? He thinks of me?

All these questions had a place in my mind tumbling one after the other as it was a consequence of a dispute that took between our families which separated us..though it was my decision to stay away from him, I wanted his strong support by my side. I did not get his support in last six months and now he was texting me as I once messaged him informing my Covid positive status a couple of weeks back. I had a feeling that he genuinely does not care as it's been weeks he has not responded ,not even to know my health status.

He did not try to understand my position or situation in this dispute. It was all his sister's fault and things went on so weird that I had to go away with my parents. But where was love ? I thought he would help me and stand by my side but he irresistantly fought with me and did not listen to what I was trying to say. I felt like I lost my ten years for such a person who never really cared.

In these six months , I tried to search within me a person who can stay alone. Not depending not relying upon anyone. I tried to find myself. I had thoughts of separation from him. But divorce..the word gave me goosebumps and I found the world in front of my eyes dark and gloomy. I would think of crying but could not cry. I wanted to see him last time, meet him face to face and talk out the matter clearly and in fact I wanted that just one hug which I was getting since last ten years of my life. Things were not in my control. Every second of every day and every month made my mind out of control. We were not contacting each other. Whatsapp messages were off. We hardly tried to message. Although he texted good night sometimes, it gave me pain. I wanted his support and not good night wishes. I wish he would think of meeting me. He had gone to Tamilnadu leaving me behind in Gujarat,my parents home. He did not try to solve the matter and angrily went off. Months of separation passed by and we were living live detached from each other. I had just recovered from covid a couple of days back.

Things today were different . We were talking about only us. He was eager to know about me and that made me feel somewhat awkward yet relaxing. I liked the way he cared. I wanted to chat even more. The pauses or gaps in between the messages made me so restless and uncomfortable. I wished to receive more messages comforting me and relating to only us and no one else.

How's your health now? On this I texted back, except some weakness and backache everything's ok. I smiled inwardly as I typed feeling glad enough at the moment.

For last two days it's raining here. It's quite cold here. The climate is same as you left in November. I miss you baby (with a kissing emoji)..it gave me goosebumps. I never really wished to leave him but the circumstances made me do so.

Are you ok? You don't have wheezing na? Please take care.. I texted him. In these ten years I had known he has wheezing problem in cold climate sometimes and then he has difficulty breathing. So out of emotions I asked him this question. Infact I still really cared for him. My love for him was still alive. I genuinely cared.

He again sent a kissing emoji saying thanks for your care. I am glad you still remember my problem. I love you for that. Please come home.

On that day tears rolled out from my dry eyes which were holding back the waters that wanted to flow out in emotions since months. My heart cried deeply as it wished to see him..my love. I wanted to meet him.

I know you wish to meet me. I am coming in a month after this covid lockdown. Let's meet and talk. This message flashed in front of my eyes hoping for the best. Things went on crazy all these months and separated two lovers. They had their own life ,own love and care. All disputes and fights were on one side and the couple's love for each other had a different side.

My eyes shone brightly on reading the message that implied some hope and positive attitude to meet..it meant we both still need each other. Under any circumstances we could not keep ourselves away from each other, atleast our love for each other will not .The stubbornness to dig ourselves in that dispute could not break the bond that stayed between us in these ten years.

He needs me. I need him. Other things are on the bay. We are we. We are us .

We need us.