It's Not Christmas Without Love

A bird.

He got me a bird for the holidays.

And on some level, I get it right?

I can’t tell you how many times my friend Violet has been given violets and not the traditional red rose on the first date.

To be fair, he doesn’t really know me. It’s not like he could’ve gotten me something personal like the paint collection I’ve been dreaming of or a signed copy of my favorite book.

But couldn’t he have gone the neutral route? Holiday scented candles or maybe some snickerdoodle cookies!?

“So what do you think?” he said anxiously as he waited for my response.

Danny was an undoubtedly sweet guy. He had started working with the firm just a few months ago, and I knew right away he’d make a great addition. Always punctual, respectful, creative … that last trait really flashing its feathers today.

I tore my eyes from the whiteish bird to scan the room. The Christmas tree was sitting nice and sturdy in the corner, covered in hand made ornaments and blue lights. The windows were laced with sparkling red, blue, white, and green lights that quickly faded into one another. That Christmas song was playing in the background, the pretty one, about all your troubles being miles away.

The first person I made eye contact with was my best friend Mya. I pride myself on my poker face, but she knows me way too well. She hid her mouth behind her hand so she could snicker in secret. Seeing me freak out was one of her favorite forms of entertainment. Looking at the other office members I saw a mix of masked expressions (mostly from my coworker Chris, but to be fair he rarely showed emotion. I said good morning to him today and guess what I got back? A hum! Lower register.) and some swoons (this is exactly the kind of “romantic gesture” Ashlee and Mali ate up).

“Dove?”

I quickly snapped out of my head and looked at Danny. Mya suspected he’s had a crush on me for some time now. When we drew names for the secret santa she had noticed how his face screamed of nervousness and hope. One thing you should know about this firm is that secrets usually die within 2 minutes of life. Everyone is so talky talky we knew who was assigned to who. So instead of leaving our gifts anonymously on the table, we just decided to hand them to each other during the holiday party. I blinked one more time at Danny’s face. I’ve never owned a pet in my life, how was I going to take care of a bird … does my apartment even allow pets??

“I think …,” taking another glance at the bird, it cocked its head to look at me, and I smiled softly, feeling myself start to calm down. “I think she’s really cute.” This time I brightly smiled at Danny, who smiled right back.

-----------------------------------

Mya walked into my office with two cups of hot chocolate as I reached to open the cage. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? Don’t want the little one to fly away.”

“Danny told me she’s a Silky dove, so they don’t fly very far. Besides,” I cast Mya a frown, “It doesn’t seem right keeping her in the cage.”

Mya sighed and walked over to me and the bird, bending so that she could be on the bird’s level. “Okay sweetie, Dove’s going to open the cage now. No funny business.”

I playfully rolled my eyes as I went to slowly unlatch the chain, making sure nothing could startle her. Once I did she turned her full body towards the opening but made no real attempt to leave. Slowly, I reached one finger inside the cage, ready to pull away if she wanted me to, and tapped lightly on its small head with my index finger. The bird’s eyes closed slightly, and it lightly cooed. 

I gave a surprised gasp, “She likes me!”

Mya took a sip of her chocolate and smirked at my childish outburst, “Well –”

I beamed harder, “She loves me.”

“Dove.”

“And I love her.”

Mya outstretched the chocolate my way, “You just met the bird!? Do you even have a name.”

I grabbed the cup and tapped my head on her shoulder gratefully, “Whoever loved that loved not a first sight?”

“Okay Shakespeare.”

“Marlowe.”

“Marlowe, actually.”

We both turned towards the voice at the door frame who corrected Mya with me.

Chris. And would I be incorrect in suggesting a slight upward curvature of his lips? 

Me and Mya sent quick confused glances each other’s way. When has Chris ever visited my office? The last time he had to deliver a paper to me he left it in my door pocket instead of coming in, wanting to avoid all pleasant greetings. Chris was an older man and senior member of the staff. He was the guy everyone went to with questions about the job or life really, 62 years on this earth teaches you a lot.

I looked back over at Chris and awkwardly waved, “Hi Chris.”

He glanced at me and Mya before looking back at my bird. “Danny was quite nervous about getting you the bird.”

“He told you?”

Chris started walking in before stopping midway, “May I?”

“Of course.”

Mya went to pull up a chair from the meeting area and placed it in front of the desk where we were standing.

“Thank you,” Chris murmured. I sat down as well and Mya propped herself onto the desk, close to the bird.

“Have you named her yet?”

“I haven’t … but I know I should. Can’t keep calling her sweetie or little one forever. I just don’t know what name would work.”

“Look her in the eyes.”

I squinted my eyes a bit at Chris.

“Yeah like that, but with the eyes open. And at her. Not me.”

Snickers came from my left and Mya was covering her mouth again.

“Look her in the eyes, and the name will come all by itself.”

Playing with the cage door in my hand I looked back at the bird. Admittingly I felt a little strange, if any more surprised visitors came in I didn’t want them to think I was trying to telecommunicate. This whole office already thinks I’m weird enough.

The bird looked back at me, like she was all ready to go for our little staring contest. I leaned in a little closer and tried to focus in on her face. She had sweet eyes with red circles around them.

I started nodding, Mya glanced at Chris who held up his hand in a patient manner.

My nodding continued as I cracked a grin, “Got it. I got it! Her name is Peace.”

Mya deadpanned at my choice of symbolism, “Did she tell you that or?”

Chris lowly chuckled and leaned back slightly in his chair. The way that made adults scold younger children, insisting they’d hurt themselves. None of us said anything but I noticed Mya slide a little closer to the edge, preparing to help in case of a crash. “The eyes are the window to the soul, and not just for humans. My wife and I have 4 birds ourselves, 2 of them doves. And that’s how I named them all.”

“Really? That's amazing! Wait … did you suggest Danny get the dove?”

“Oh no no. He knew I had pets and wondered if I had any birds. That’s when he told me he wanted to get you a dove, you know, because of your name.” He lowered his head a bit to hide a small smile, clearing his throat as he looked back up, “A little cheesy if you ask me. But he wanted to get you something special.”

Feeling my cheeks warm, I changed the subject. My mom always said I changed topics faster than she blinked. Sometimes because there was so much I wanted to discuss, most of the time to avoid discussing myself.

“Do you think you could help me then? With how to birdie proof the apartment, and what she eats, and how she sleeps, and bird stands so she doesn’t have to be in a cage, and –”

Chris held up the hand again, “Yes, Dove. I’ll teach you everything you need to know.”

I clasped my hands tightly, “Thank you so much Chris!” I looked at Peace, “Are you excited to come home with me?”

“I can’t imagine why she wouldn’t be.”

Mya, Chris, and I sharply turned to the door – Chris almost tipping all the way over his chair. I wish someone had taken a photo of the 4 of our faces. You know after a roller coaster; you can buy those snap photos? The camera always catches everyone’s faces raw and unfiltered, either eyes shut and praying or hands up and cheering. 

Danny suddenly shrunk into himself, scrunching the face of Santa on his sweater. “Uh, sorry. Sorry, I hope that didn’t come out weird. Um, I was just stopping by to make sure you were okay, and that the bird was okay. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. I –”

Danny sent a tense look to Chris when he raised his palm to get him to stop, exchanging a sympathetic look with him.

Mya sent a knowing look at Peace who cooed questioningly back.

I just looked at Danny. And when he finally built up the courage to look at me I spoke. “We’re doing okay Danny … better than okay actually.”

He visibly loosened up and shyly smiled.

“Thank you again. I’m not going to lie; I didn’t know what to think when you first handed me the cage.”

“She was thinking of ways to turn invisible.”

I sent a hard look Mya’s way, who was quickly sipping her drink, before continuing. “Well, I was nervous and kind of caught off guard. But I love her already. You might have given me the best gift ever,” I said feeling myself become giddy.

“I’m glad you do, Dove,” he breathed. “I was hoping she could be a calming part of your life. Something for you to take care of but also something to take care of you, you know?”

Feeling a little vulnerable again, I decided to do something about it. I got up to go hug Danny who looked a little shocked when my arms wrapped around him. Looking up from behind me Danny caught eyes with Mya who gestured a hug with her arms. Danny’s shock seemed to fade away as he contently squeezed his arms and held me back.

Peace, who was pretty confused earlier, seemed to catch on. Looking at each person in the room she hobbled out the cage onto the desk.

So this was what the holidays were all about huh?

Beautiful.