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Mystery Romance

Hear that? It's the sound of a breaking heart.



I stare at my phone and my eyes burn with tears as I read his text.


haha yea i was with her last night...srry bout that 


I don't even care anymore, right? Tears stain my cheeks and redness spreads through my face. Automatically, I get my answer. I do care.


He could have been anywhere else but he chose to be there with her. "Everyone deserves a second chance." The number of chances he's gotten is uncountable. That quote isn't always true.


I take a shaky breath in and remember all the lies he has fed my mind.


I can't live without you.

No one can ever replace you.


I could almost hear the false note in his voice when he said that, but I decided to ignore it. The pain builds every time he hurts me, but I still miss him. This is just one of the reminders that he isn't really in love with me. I'm the only one in love. 


Why don't I just leave him? He's a liar and a cheat anyway. I'm just scared to be lonely I guess. I don't want to be alone. It terrifies me just thinking of it. If I leave, will I find anyone else? What if they're worse than him?


Questions fly through my mind as I open my front door and a cool breeze greets my face. A fresh walk seems like a good idea.



My phone buzzes once again and I see a text pop up.


Maddie? 


I can't respond. My mind is frozen, my heart is damaged, and my fingers are too irritated by him.


My mind floats to a place before he had so many "friends." A place where his love wasn't fake. I wonder if such a place exists. Jealousy is my only companion during times like this. Pain helps me with a tight hug.


I miss his cute glances at me. I miss his warm hugs. I miss him but how can I miss something that was never mine? How can I miss something that never happened?


Three years and he's still the same; I told myself he would change. That he would care about me, but it's been the same cycle after all this time; happy, hurt, hurt some more, then repeat.


I met him on a bright Wednesday afternoon. I was babysitting my cousins and had taken them to a little ice cream shop. He was sitting in a corner biting off his pink ice cream. "Who bites off their ice cream?" I asked as I gave a sweet giggle.


He looked up from his phone. I hadn't known he was so cute when I made the joke. I could have sworn my face had turned into a tomato then. He laughed and with a smirk told me that it was normal to do that. That was the moment I knew what a real crush was. 


If I had known that was the start of a heartbreaking three years, I would have never even step foot into that ice cream shop.


The park seems like a good place to go to. I stroll through the streets and see a lady pushing a stroller. She gives a generous smile and says "good afternoon" as she passes by. I smile back. I think she might have noticed my glassy eyes.


Looking around I can see the reddish leaves hanging from the trees. Just one more push of the wind and they'll sink to the ground. Just like me.


Come on maddie.... she's just a friend


I stumble a little as I read this. His lies are so sweet and pretty. He only shows me love whenever he's had one too many drinks. It's not real. Love isn't real.


Why do I feel like a doll getting played with? Am I just one of his girls?


I take a seat on the bench farthest from the playground and see a bunch of little kids scattered around. Their smiles blooming just like a rose bush. I feel like I'm the thorn.


You there?


That's the problem. I'm here. Wherever he wants me to be I'll be there. I leave his text alone and watch the clouds. If I could choose where I wanted to be, it would be the clouds. They look like coconut-flavored cotton candy.


bye


Those words sting a little. It's just like when a bee stings. At first, it doesn't hurt but when you understand, it starts to swell up.


I can feel my fingers losing grip of his love. They have burns and buries on them. The cuts are deep and shallow. Why can't I just let go? 


I have to fix this. Did I hurt him? Is he crying right now? I grab my phone and start typing an apology when something catches my eye. A white jersey with his last name printed on it. My heart starts to race.


I wipe my eyes with my rough red sweater, so my vision isn't blurry anymore and look straight ahead. It's him. He's walking side by side with her. 


I'm surprised to see him. I thought he would be dead by now. Shouldn't he be? Did he lie again?


My anger rises and I rush to stop him. He might have seen me from the corner of his eye because he quickly separates his hand from hers. He smiles nervously at me. Even if the anger inside me grows, I can't help noticing how mesmerizing his perfect eyes are. 


They both have cones of ice cream. Her's is white and his is pink just like the one I saw in the ice cream shop. I can hear the crack in my heart grow.

"Hey!" he says.


"You said you can't live without me!" I scream with rage. Now the tears come back again and everything is buried at once. I know it sounds dumb, but I say it anyway. "So why aren't you dead yet?" 

July 29, 2020 17:23

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56 comments

15:35 Aug 25, 2020

I loved that story! It was awesome! I loved how you twisted the prompt a bit so it wasn't exactly like all the other stories. Great job!

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Lata B
17:10 Aug 25, 2020

Thank you so much! :)

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Daniela Vaudrey
18:42 Jul 29, 2020

This was so cool and unique!

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Lata B
19:20 Jul 29, 2020

Thank you!!

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Daniela Vaudrey
19:54 Jul 29, 2020

You’re welcome!

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17:45 Jul 29, 2020

I really like this! the ending was surprising to me, just the way you worded it made it surprising, that was so cool. Great story for heartbreak loved it!

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Lata B
17:46 Jul 29, 2020

Thank you so much!!

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15:53 Aug 25, 2020

Great job!! I loved it! The opening sentence is really good and makes people want to continue!

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Lata B
17:11 Aug 25, 2020

Aw! Thank you!! :)

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נιмму 🤎
17:21 Aug 11, 2020

I absolutely looooove this. The opening sentence is everything, and you did very well capturing the essence along with my attention! Unrequited lovee sucks, and this reminds me of it. Then there's the guilt and the questioning yourself why do I do this? Why do I love a person who is horrible for me - or is horrible TO me. The thought of being alone is terrifying, and I can't blame her for being afraid to let go. And then the cycle feeling like the hurt will never end... I can relate. The way you describe the heartbreak is so lovely and sad. ...

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Lata B
17:34 Aug 11, 2020

Aww this made my day:) Thank you so much!

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Mustang Patty
09:46 Aug 07, 2020

Hi there, The story is a good one for this prompt - a very unique approach. Your writing is smooth and flows - I did see a few problems with changes in tense, and incorrect verb forms. I have a few suggestions to maybe help with that: READ the piece OUT LOUD. You will be amazed at the errors you will find as you read. You will be able to identify missing and overused words. It is also possible to catch grammatical mistakes – such as missing or extra commas if you read with emphasis on punctuation. Next, at a minimum, use some form...

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Lata B
14:33 Aug 07, 2020

Thank you so much for this!!

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Mustang Patty
17:30 Aug 07, 2020

You're more than welcome - please feel free to follow my blog: Mustang Patty Talks Writing at www.mustangpatty1029.com

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Geneva Savage
16:49 Aug 06, 2020

Perfect!!! Great job working the prompt into the story :) I really feel for the girl and loved-hated the guy by the end. Very well done ;) Could check out my latest stories, "Love, Leila" and "The Million Dollar Question?" Thanks and again excellent work

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Lata B
17:59 Aug 06, 2020

Thank you! I would love to!:)

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Deborah Angevin
10:50 Aug 06, 2020

I love the story, the text messages, and the last sentence. Thoroughly enjoyed reading it! Would you mind reading my recent story out, "(Pink)y Promise"? Thank you :D

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Lata B
13:47 Aug 06, 2020

Thank you! I would love to!

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A👏M👏A👏Z👏I👏N👏G

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Lata B
17:28 Aug 05, 2020

Hahaha thank you so much :)

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Khizra Aslam
06:10 Aug 05, 2020

Wow, this is no doubt a fantastic piece of writing. The way you portray feelings in it is really amazing and your story literally made me feel as if it's my feelings, like I am experiencing it all, you know, like it has a touch of reality in it. Great job ❤

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Lata B
14:59 Aug 05, 2020

Thank you so much! : )

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Amany Sayed
22:56 Aug 04, 2020

Wow, Lata! What a creative way to interpret this prompt! I loved it. Wonderful job. I wanted to thank you for almost always commenting on my stories. Keep writing and stay healthy! 😾🍪 ᗩмaŇⓎ ♣☢

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Lata B
23:12 Aug 04, 2020

Thank you so much! No problem! :)

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Avery G.
16:56 Aug 04, 2020

Hi Lata! This was beautiful. The plot ran smoothly the whole way. It was an amazing twist on the prompt! Awesome job!

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Lata B
18:58 Aug 04, 2020

Thank you so so much!!

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Avery G.
02:32 Aug 05, 2020

You're welcome!

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I personally can't relate to this because I'd never dated anyone to experience heartbreak, but this story is amazing. You did a great job of letting the reader feel emotion. When I was reading, my heart was breaking with her. You executed this well. Well done!

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Lata B
19:26 Aug 03, 2020

Thank you so much! :)

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Robyn Moss
13:38 Jul 31, 2020

I like your interpretation on this prompt. You spun it in a way that was totally unexpected. You did a great job.

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Lata B
13:40 Jul 31, 2020

Thank you! :)

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D. Jaymz
15:39 Jul 30, 2020

I found your story a beautifully sad tale with a believable neurotic (love does that to us, doesn't it 😢) character. Great line, 'Pain helps me with a tight hug.' The visual painted by these words indeed hugs with emotional warmth. I liked the ending, especially the manic twist of disbelief - "So why aren't you dead yet?" Well-written.

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Lata B
15:49 Jul 30, 2020

Thank you so much!! :)

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Batool Hussain
11:19 Jul 30, 2020

I could really hear the sound in the beginning. Good job:)

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Lata B
14:28 Jul 30, 2020

Thanks!

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Sue M
00:30 Jul 30, 2020

Lata, Great story! You either experienced something similar, or you have an amazing ability to provide detail intertwined with notable emotion. I liked how the story moved from your main character's home to the park, primarily in her effort to get away from the stressful texts and feelings she was going through. Accidently coming face to face with "him", was perfect. I do have to admit that the very last line, "Why aren't you dead yet?" left me shaking my head. I did not understand why it was being asked, because I didn't get the sense...

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Lata B
01:06 Jul 30, 2020

Thank you so much! I'm sorry if it wasn't clear! but I was trying to say that at the beginning of the story he had told her that he can't live without her. In the end, he was with someone else which kinda showed that he could live without her. He is without out her so why isn't he dead yet kind of way. I'm not sure at all if this made any sense.

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Sue M
02:14 Jul 30, 2020

Lata, Now that makes perfect sense, as long as your character responds to her boyfriend texting: "You there?" with, "NOT ANY MORE!" She admitted she has always been there for him regardless of his persistent infidelity. If she had made the break-up official, and he couldn't live without her, he shouldn't be with another woman. Then, your final line is great! Sue

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Lata B
02:20 Jul 30, 2020

Thank you so much for your help! I'll be sure to fix that!

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Sue M
02:50 Jul 30, 2020

You're very welcome! I'm glad I wasn't totally off base. Sue

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Charles Stucker
22:15 Jul 29, 2020

"Hear that? That's the sound of a breaking heart. " Perhaps, "Hear that? It's the sound of a breaking heart." The change keeps you from having too much of THAT in the opening sentence. You could also go with "Do you hear? That's the sound of a breaking heart." The end is perfect. Except for "everything is buried at once." This little bit lost me. I think more along "everything is revealed" or "everything is unleashed" in relation to her tears. I adored the way you slipped the line, "I can't live without you." into the early portion ju...

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Lata B
23:05 Jul 29, 2020

Ok yeah, I like that opening! I think I'm going to edit this tonight to make it flow better! Thank you so much for your help!

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Zion Hintay
20:46 Jul 29, 2020

Man, I love the last passage. Great portrayal of betrayal. And the impact it has on a person. Her desperation to fix the problem to the nostalgic pain. To anger and hopefully acceptance. Kudos Lata.

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Lata B
23:02 Jul 29, 2020

Thank you so much :)

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I.B. Dunn
18:40 Jul 29, 2020

What a great twist on the prompt. I felt her sadness and despair. Kudos, great story.

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Lata B
19:19 Jul 29, 2020

Thank you so much! :)

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