From the Field Notes of Henry Rhanalrik

Submitted into Contest #273 in response to: Write a story in the form of diary/journal entries about a secret or confession.... view prompt

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Fantasy

**contains excerpts from my “Books of Destinies” duology

** for best experience, read with “Rewritten” and “Books of Destinies – Vol. #1.5” 

[cover: dark green leather Book with scalloped edges]

October 6th, 1604: No significant event to report.

October 7th, 1604: No significant event to report.

October 8th, 1604: Why do I bother keeping this journal? The view of the cosmos sky changes little from night to night that tracking the incremental differences seems trivial. Surely these differences are far from trivial when expanded to light-years of distance, but what implication does that have for the mere mortal brain? Who does it particularly interest how many degrees the stars move over a month? Who does it particularly interest the trajectory of past comets? Who does it particularly interest the circumference of the moon and the exact geometry it unlikely takes to witness a rare eclipse? I used to believe the answer is: me. It should interest me. That is why I decided to study astronomy, is it not? To find answers to questions that we may not know how to even phrase yet. To discover something thought to be unsearchable, beyond what current laws of physics may understand, what the human brain understands. But what my futile work in the field has proved so far – I am human. My brain has limits, no matter how far I try to push them. To make matters worse, I am attempting to push it beyond the limits of the Earth, as if that wasn’t hard enough. As if there weren’t enough mysteries and discoveries to be made on solid ground – no, me and my stupidly-ambitious-self had to go look for answers in the stars. Maybe Mother was right – ugh, did I actually write those words – I should have studied history instead. Sure, I’d be locked in some dusty library pouring over timeless books…but at least I wouldn’t be freezing my behind off sitting on a tin roof with a laughable telescope looking for and at nothing! 

Wait. What is that? Please hold.

Approx. time of observation: 21:30

Preliminary description: irregular sphere of white light from WNW direction. Size hard to estimate as new moon night, best approx. ¼ of full moon when directly overhead current location. Boundary of shape keeps expanding, not uniformly. Appears to be … pushing … observable stars out of its way??? This thing is making room for itself… Is it, coming towards me?? Gravity shock waves, earth quaking, I feel th-

***

[looseleaf page inserted: 

I, Henry Rhanalrik, by signing this Book do hereby confirm my appointment to the Secret Librarians in accordance with the terms of this agreement: Destiny will provide me with immortality and access to higher energy in exchange for my services in maintaining the Library and Books per Destiny’s instructions. Furthermore, I agree to reject any and all other storylines of mine, either predicted or in progress such that this Book is the sole representation of my destiny. I consent to the terms above and take my eternal positions in the Secret Librarians.

Please retain a copy of this contract for your records.]

***

December 31st, 1604: Today I met my fellow Librarians. Destiny believed that starting the New Year off together was the ample opportunity for us to connect. We congregated in Rome, for reasons I suspect are because a number of the members come from regions in Italy, and because Destiny has a secret soft spot for history to base our main teleportal in this eternal city – though Destiny will likely never admit to such sentiments. The bustling city life is an exciting change from my dear Lofoten Islands, though I do miss the fjords. Destiny has made it clear though, that we will never need to miss anything ever again: all the time, all the riches, all the power in the world and in the universe are at our fingertips. 

And oh, I believe it! I’ve become fairly proficient at teleporting into the Secret Library by myself already from the time Destiny endowed us with our powers, but to take the trip with my fellow colleagues for the first time, through the grand portal archways of our newly established Roman headquarters is quite the breathtaking experience. We are also quite the fun bunch! Tyler, Walter, and I became immediate friends; Lenore and I will likely have several disputes but no matter – her charges are last names L-Q and mine are R-W so we should not interfere with each other’s work. 

Aah, I believe I hear the fireworks starting! Then again, it may just be Ariel messing with her fire magic again, that lady is a jokester. I feel we’ll all get along fine, this year and all the infinite ones afterwards. Cheers to 1605!

***

August 22nd, 1652: I made the difficult decision today to forever leave my homeland of the Lofoten Islands. There is only so long one can use good genes and a healthy diet as an excuse to why I have not a single wrinkle around my eyes nor a single grey hair on my head. People are beginning to stare and whisper, both out loud and in their minds; my own mother believes I’ve made a witchcraft pact and am summoning evil spirits around our cottage that slam our doors or rattle our pots and pans – I can’t help it that my telekinesis skills are mediocre at best! I will leave this night, once the household is asleep. Part of me hurts to leave behind all that is familiar, but Destiny has gifted me with many more opportunities and it is this ambition that drives me forward. Perhaps I should visit Walter: I hear he is doing quite well in his Plymouth settlement recently…

***

September 1st, 1892: I write this with a view of the Oxford campus from my new office at the University. The school is already brimming with eager young minds ready to start their classes in the next couple of days; I can see their vibrant orange and gold auras glowing all throughout the campus. I myself have 35 students signed up for my course, Chemistry 4. It’s quite a change from the days I taught physics at my last job, or advanced mathematics at my previous job, and astronomy at my previous-previous job – of course, I’ve had to switch jobs several times over the centuries, though scholars are less superstitious than to jump to conclusions of witchcraft as Mother did. Still, best not to linger too long – and I do have my eye set on a new geology department opening up in New York soon… I know nothing of geology, but Destiny has made that issue nonexistent, with all the reference books I could ever need, their knowledge ready to be soaked up with a mere sweep of my fingertips along the page. Granted, I will need to get my diploma retouched…I don’t suppose that nifty bloke that forged my last graduation date will be able to fix it this time. Perhaps I should study the old-fashioned way this time, without the psychic cheat sheets, that may be a fun new experience. How far I’ve come from the days freezing on a tin roof, doubting if I’ll ever learn anything new again…

***

July 4th, 1931: I’ve always prided myself on leading a fairly upstanding life – existence? – in comparison to some of my frivolous and decadent colleagues, engaging in some debonair yet rakish affairs, though I must say that recent bouts with the high life have turned me on to its charm and dark allure. The fancy suits, fast cars, easy fortunes, quality liquor, beautiful women; an invitation to the glitz and glamour of the grand opening of Pair O’ Dice – I can’t believe I’ve never taken advantage of Las Vegas before. Card after card, dice after dice: why not take the house odds when being psychic means I know exactly when those odds will be in my favor? I’m already at $7000 just today! With a martini glass in one hand, a gorgeous flapper girl on my arm, and the power of prediction, I am destined to win every night.

*** 

July 5th, 1931: Banned from Pair O’ Dice for counting cards. 

***

November 18th, 1992: Finished moving into my new apartment today; Tyler and I were supposed to be roommates but he recently moved in with a girl from his university. I don’t really know what he’s thinking, how long he expects the relationship to last, or even how he expects the relationship to last – his prior relationship lasted for 8 years before he ran away. 8 years without a formal commitment, without marriage, without children – well, actually, I don’t know about the children. I know several of my colleagues have had children over the centuries but they were never able to commit to their families – able or willing. There are many things being immortal prevents you from having; a family is one of them. That’s why I’ve stayed away from commitment; I’ve even stayed away from scandal – a few drunken nights and being thrown out of a couple casinos sobers you up and settles you down a bit. I’m happier with the things Destiny has given me than the things it hasn’t, and I think all of us Librarians agree in the long run – the very long run. I’ve been spending more time in the Secret Library recently, doing some chores – Destiny seamed particularly pleased with the new bookcases I installed; I’ve enrolled in another Ph.D. program at the local university starting in the spring semester, this time in geology – formally this time, without any forged diploma; and have resumed existence as usual. 

***

February 26th, 1993: I fell in love… 

*** 

[looseleaf page inserted:

I, Henry Rhanalrik, by signing this Book do hereby confirm my resignation from the Secret Librarians in accordance with the terms of this agreement: Destiny will relieve me of immortality and access to higher energy and make me fully human in exchange for my resignation. Furthermore, I agree that once this resignation is in effect, Destiny becomes the sole author of my Book, to which I have no legal claims or appeals to. 

I consent to the terms above and resign from my positions in the Secret Librarians.

Please retain a copy of this contract for your records.]

***

February 14th, 2000: Today my son Dimitri was born. Nearly 500 years I’ve lived and I’ve never been happier than at this moment. I love Irene with all my heart, and I must have a second heart for Dimitri. I never thought life could be so perfect. 

Wait, I thought Dimitri’s eyes were brown…

***

[looseleaf page insert: 

Acacia Hospital

Center of Imaging and Radiology

Pathology Labs

May 7th, 2006

Impressions: Pancreatic neuroendocrine tumors, malignancy confirmed. 

Referred to Dr. Arnoldson, M.D. Oncology Unit.]

***

[looseleaf page inserted:

Dear Dima,

It’s Dad.

If you’re reading this, then it means that you’ve grown up to be a fine young man. And a strong psychic. It also means that I am no longer with you.

I have a confession. I probably should have told you this a long time ago, but you were still so young. So young and innocent; you shouldn’t have to live with the consequences of my mistakes. But it seems like they have found you anyway. I couldn’t tell you back then and I know I won’t be there to tell you when you’re older.

I was psychic too.

I know this must come as quite a shock to you. There’s no easy way of explaining this and unfortunately, it just gets more complicated. I only hope that when you finish reading this, you won’t hate me.

It all started long ago. Very long ago. I’ll spare you the exact date but let’s just say it’s been a few centuries. You should know a little about the history of Destiny. Long ago, Destiny was just a passive force in the Universe, not reacting or interfering in the workings of the cosmos, and in particular, not in humanity. Then something happened in a nearby galaxy that changed everything in the whole Universe forever: a star exploded in an incredible supernova and formed a black hole. Or rather, that’s what was supposed to happen. I have a feeling you might be an astronomer so by the time you read this, maybe you will have already studied this in your classes and have a solid understanding of black holes. The problem is that this black hole was like nothing to ever exist before, going against all science: in an instant, the black hole collapsed on itself and turned into a white hole, the theoretical opposite of a black hole. Instead of consuming matter, it created it. Then it mysteriously vanished, leaving behind ripples in the cosmos that were the only evidence of its existence. To this day, scientists are baffled with the remnants of a seemingly-impossible black hole that seems never to have existed at all; astronomers at the time didn’t know about it and modern astrophysicists can’t prove its existence or anything about it.

But we can. We knew the exact moment that star exploded because at that moment, Destiny was activated as an interfering force in the course of humanity. When the star exploded, Destiny was released and the intense energy from the supernova made it the most powerful force in the Universe, even more so than gravity, and since that day, Destiny has disrupted the cosmos and life here on Earth. We knew the second it happened.

 You’re probably wondering why I keep saying “we.” There were twelve of us. We didn’t know each other back then, but they became the closest people in my life. We were all scholars of astronomy; more importantly, we were all curious about the cosmos and about the unanswered questions of life; perhaps most importantly, we were all different zodiac signs. When Destiny came alive, it reached out to us with a proposal: the chance to understand more, know everything about how the Universe works. And the promise of immortality.

I agreed.

You must understand, Dima, I was young, in my early 20s. I thought I was the best, invincible. And I was incredibly naïve. When Destiny promised all the power ever granted, I leaped at the chance. So did the other eleven. In exchange, we were supposed to be editors. I think you see where this is going.

We became the Librarians of the Secret Library. Destiny was the brilliant, prolific author, and we edited the Books according to its instructions and maintained the Secret Library. Tweaking a few sentences and arranging books on a shelf — it seemed like such a trivial price to pay for immortality and invincibility. And we loved it: moving things with our minds, never getting sick or old, reading people’s minds. It gave us such a thrill, like we could have anything and everything we wanted: leading rich lives in high style without a care in the world.

In reality, we had nothing and could have nothing; Destiny controlled our every move to such an extent that we believed we were free. But we never were; we had promised to do its writing and in doing so, had signed away our destinies. We gave up our Books and we never had a choice, though it seemed like we had it all. It took me a good few centuries before I realized that — yes, I have lived that long since that fateful day. The day I met a girl named Irene Slazinsky — your mother — was the day I realized that no matter the power and promise of Destiny, I could never be truly happy without her, for what would be the point of a life forever if it would be a life forever without her?

I gave it up. I confronted Destiny and said it can have everything back because I didn’t want it anymore. Once I gave up my powers and my position in the Librarians, my Book was written, and I tried to turn the page on that very long chapter of my life.

However, when you were born, Dimitri, I realized that I would never be free of it, that Destiny had followed me into you. That’s why I’m writing you this. When I saw your eyes change color for the first time, like mine had all those centuries, I learned that was Destiny’s way of saying, the story must go on. I should have realized that Destiny would try to find someone to fill my position in the Library, and who better than someone who shares my psychic genes? You.

I am so sorry, Dimitri.

I never thought this could happen. It is true that your DNA is different because you’re psychic – it’s because of me, it’s all my fault. It’s tampered with because you inherited those genes from my old immortal self. I didn’t know – I never imagined – that it would pass to you when I gave it up so long before, and once I realized it, it was too late. But you, Dima, are psychic because of me, and you must take my place in the Secret Library. 

I’m sorry, Dimitri. I never wanted this for you. Please forgive me.]

October 22, 2024 03:44

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10 comments

Shirley Medhurst
19:01 Oct 26, 2024

I was engrossed in your story, Martha. Admittedly I’m not normally a lover of “fantasy” but you captured my imagination here…

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Martha Kowalski
22:21 Oct 26, 2024

That means a lot, thanks for reading, Shirley!!

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Alexis Araneta
16:51 Oct 22, 2024

Very, very gripping and imaginative, Martha ! I loved how this one flowed. Lovely work !

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Martha Kowalski
03:39 Oct 23, 2024

Thanks Alexis!

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Jack Kimball
15:14 Oct 22, 2024

With lines like, "I’ve become fairly proficient at teleporting into the Secret Library by myself already from the time Destiny endowed us with our powers, but to take the trip with my fellow colleagues for the first time, through the grand portal archways of our newly established Roman headquarters is quite the breathtaking experience." what's not to love!

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Martha Kowalski
16:15 Oct 22, 2024

Thank you, Jack - I'm glad you enjoyed!

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Mary Bendickson
14:17 Oct 22, 2024

Mustn't flirt with destiny. Thanks for liking,'See Forest Run'.

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Martha Kowalski
16:14 Oct 22, 2024

Nooo definitely not the best idea

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Trudy Jas
04:14 Oct 22, 2024

Wonderful. Great continuation of your books. :-) If I may make one suggestion. Breaking long narratives into shorter paragraphs makes it easier on the eyes of the reader and allows us to floow through better. ust a thought.

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Martha Kowalski
04:22 Oct 22, 2024

Ah good suggestion, Trudy, thanks! I wrote this in a different file than usual and didn't check the formatting all the way through

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