Here He is. Anyone?

It was Friday morning. Marcus left his apartment for work. He walked to the train station and waited his turn at the kiosk. The line moved slowly. He scanned his card and the gate opened. He waited with the others for the train. He looked to his right. He looked to his left. He saw all of the people waiting with him. Some were looking at their phones. Some were reading on e-readers. There were even some people looking at magazines. A few people were having conversations on a Bluetooth. People still looked like they were talking to themselves. That always looked weird to Marcus. He didn’t want to look at his phone. He didn’t want to read. He looked up and looked at the ads hanging over the seats. He didn’t want to learn a new language. He didn’t need to study for an exam. He wasn’t hurt. He didn’t need a lawyer. Advertisements everywhere but nothing aimed at him.

A voice on the intercom announced the next stop and on what side the doors would open. Marcus looked at the side mentioned by the voice. A few other passengers did the same. The doors were there when they got on the train. Some people just like to make sure they didn’t go anywhere between boarding and getting off.

The doors opened and passengers stepped off the train, dodging between the impatient people who were trying to get on the train before the doors closed on them and they would have to wait for the next one. Doing so ran the risk of being late for work or school. A couple of people bumped into Marcus without saying, “Excuse me,” or “I beg your pardon.” Marcus laughed and shook his head. Would it kill you to wait or at least apologize? I guess it would.

Marcus walked slowly up the steps that led to the street. There was a crowd of people in front of him; obviously not in any rush to get to where they needed to be. There was a crowd of people behind him. He could hear their footsteps and feel them trying to slow down so they didn’t bump into him. He could tell there were some impatient people waiting for him to pick up the pace. He could only do so much, especially when there was a crowd of people in front of him. Some people were in no mood to wait and they ran up the stairs to the left of Marcus and the slower people. Some gave an, “Excuse me,” as they trotted up the stairs. Some brushed against Marcus on their way up without saying anything.

His building was in view as soon as Marcus reached the top of the stairs. He joined the flow of people on the sidewalk moving in the same direction as him. He heard cars beeping and buses rolling by. He walked with the flow of people and turned off when he reached his building. There were a few people in front of them. Marcus waited as he and the small line made their way through the revolving doors. Each one had a badge in their hand as they passed through security. They scanned their badge and continued to their respective departments. There was a woman working security wearing the uniform of the company hired to work the front desk. She was looking down at some black and white monitors, oblivious to the employees arriving to start the day. Marcus wanted to say good morning to her, but she wasn’t paying attention to anyone or anything else other than the screens in front of her. He kept going.

Elevators opened empty and closed full. People stepped off when the elevator stopped and dinged to signal their floor. Marcus looked up with the rest of the people who were watching the floors light up as the elevators passed. Marcus heard a ding. He looked up again and saw this was his floor. He stepped off the elevator and walked to his department. He found his desk. He sat down. He started a program on his computer and went to work. Marcus looked around. Everyone was already at their desks and at work. He looked back at his computer. It seemed everyone else was in a groove. He wanted to say hello to someone but couldn’t. He felt like there was a flow. He couldn’t find a way in to say something. Maybe if he had gotten there earlier, he could have seen someone come to their desk and sit down. He could have said, “Hello,” to that person. Maybe have a conversation. No one was talking at his area. He went to work. A supervisor came by with a piece of paper in her hand. She put it down on Marcus’ desk and said, “All set.” Marcus looked down at the paper and recognized the work he had finished the previous day. He looked up and saw his supervisor already talking to another employee. Marcus would have liked a little more feedback on what he did. Anything she didn’t like. Anything he should repeat on his current project. He wanted to ask. His supervisor was laughing with the employee and talked for a couple of minutes before moving on.

Marcus worked for a few hours. He looked at the time on his computer monitor. It was time for lunch. Marcus got up and went to the cafeteria. He stood in line with his tray and waited for his turn to put a plate of something on it. He got to the cashier. The cashier didn’t even look at him. She just looked down at his tray and saw what he had selected. She rang him up and, in a terse voice, read the price Marcus was able to see for himself on the register. Marcus put his card in the reader. After a few seconds, the reader told him to remove his card. He did so and looked for a place to sit and eat.

There were no empty tables in the cafeteria. There were some empty seats here and there. Marcus looked around. There were people sitting at the tables and talking. Some people were having serious conversations. Others were laughing in between bites, enjoying what little time they had away from their work. Marcus went to a table and took a seat. There were three people already there engaged in a lively conversation. Marcus took a bite of his food and listened to the conversation. They were talking about a movie that had just been released. Two of the people at the table had already seen it. The third person wanted to see it and hadn’t gotten the chance yet. One of the people, a woman, had been wanting to see it because of an actor who was in the movie.

“I love him,” she said. “I want to see this.”

Marcus looked up. “Oh, yeah,” he said. “He was in that other movie about the hostages in the store…”

“Yeah,” a guy said with an annoyed look and the three continued their conversation.

Marcus finished his lunch and went back to work. There was a meeting he had to go to. He went to the room. He sat down. The supervisor running the meeting thanked everyone for coming. He ran down the order of business and covered each department. This was a project that seemed simple enough and shouldn’t take long. He got to Marcus’s department and went over what was expected. Marcus put his hand up.

“We had a little trouble with something like this the last time-” Marcus said. The supervisor cut him off.

“There shouldn’t be any trouble,” the supervisor said. “This is something the department has handled before.”

“Yes, but-”

“We’ll be fine, Marcus,” Marcus’ supervisor said. Marcus tried to say something, but she looked down at her notes and started to write something as a person next to her leaned in to ask her something. She looked up and started a brief conversation with the person.

The meeting ended. Marcus went back to his desk. He now had another assignment to tackle and he wasn’t quite sure how to go about it. He hated that. Sometimes you need guidance with something. Sometimes you’re not quite sure how to go about something. He went to his supervisor’s office. The door was closed. He could see through the window that she was on the phone.

He went back to his desk. He looked at his notes from the meeting. He checked his email, hoping someone else had something they didn’t quite understand. He didn’t want to be the only one who wasn’t grasping the project. He was hoping for a little guidance.

Marcus needed to catch up on some other work. He worked on it. He still needed to start the new project. He did what he could. He looked for someone else from the meeting. He was hoping to bounce some things off them. Everyone was leaving. It was Friday and people were eager to get out of the office and start the weekend. He went back to his supervisor’s office. The door was closed, and the lights were off. She too had left for the weekend. He wasn’t sure what to do. He was hoping to talk to somebody. No one was around. Maybe on Monday he could be able to talk to somebody. People were leaving. Marcus didn’t see the point in sticking around the office alone.

He walked to the train station. He scanned his card. The gate opened and Marcus walked to the platform. He felt alone. He was living in the city. He wanted to live in the city his whole life. He wanted to see people. He wanted to talk to people. Here he was. In the city but alone. Today wasn’t the first time he had felt like this. He was surrounded by a crowd of people, but no one spoke to him. He looked around. He saw people but it was like no one was noticing him. His train arrived. Marcus and the others boarded the train. People looking at screens. People talking on their phones. People looking down. People looking straight ahead, careful to avoid eye contact with anybody and everybody. Marcus sighed. This wasn’t what he had in mind when he moved out to the city. He didn’t think it would be filled with unfriendly people who just kept to themselves.

The voice over the intercom announced Marcus’ stop. Marcus walked out of the train, up the stairs and to his apartment. He made dinner and sat at the table. He listened to music as he ate. He didn’t want to watch television. He just wanted to sit down and have his meal and unwind from the day. It had been a long day. It wasn’t really a hard day, just a frustrating one. He had a new project to do. He wasn’t quite sure how to handle it. He was hoping someone could help him out, but he wasn’t getting the help. He hated it when that happened. He was someone who could handle work and assignments. He wasn’t one who had trouble at work. People looked at him as someone who could do it all. He couldn’t do it all. Sometimes he needed someone to help him.

Marcus finished dinner and cleaned up. He changed into clean clothes. He had decided he was going out. It was Friday. It was the weekend. He had worked hard all week. He deserved to go out and have a good time. He knew some people in town. Why not reach out to them and see if they’d like to meet up. He called a friend. They already had plans. They were out of town. He called another. No answer. He texted his friend to let them know where he was going and where he’d be. He called another. No answer. He left a voicemail and then texted.

He got back on the train. There weren’t as many people this time. Marcus found a seat and checked his phone. No one called. No one had texted. He got to the bar. There was a good crowd, but he was still able to find a seat. When people arrived, they could move to a table. He had a drink. He checked his phone. He saw the time. No calls. No messages. The bartender brought him another drink. He noticed someone out of the corner of his eye take a seat next to him.

“Marcus!” a jovial voice called out. It was Davey. Davey worked in the same company as Marcus but in a different department.

“How’s it going, Davey?” Marcus asked.

The bartender came up to take Davey’s order. Davey ordered without looking at the bartender and started talking. Davey liked to talk.

“What a week,” Davey said. “Hey, let me tell you something…”

Davey kept talking about the week he had. He talked about this girl he had been seeing. What a girl. She’s out with friends tonight and he was meeting some people here tonight. Davey kept talking about his work. His boss. The boss isn’t too good. Everyone knows it was Davey who should have gotten the promotion. People know it. They haven’t told him but they didn’t need to. Everyone knew it.

“I know,” Marcus said. “My boss today-”

“But you know, Davey kept talking. He kept going on as Marcus kept sipping his drink. The job. His girlfriend. How the company works.

“That’s why I didn’t get the promotion,” Davey explained. They don’t want people who know the inside and how it works. They want to keep their little game going.”

“I’m sure,” Marcus said. “There was-”

“But that’s what happens,” Davey said, and he kept on about what he did and how he did it. Davey knows the system. It’s tough out there but Davey knows how the game is played.

“Hey,” Davey said. “I see my friends. Good talking to you. I’ll see you next week.”

“Sure,” Marcus said. Davey left to see his friends. Marcus finished his drink and went home. He went to the train. He was the only one in the car. He rode to his stop, got off and walked home. He hung up his jacket and went to his bedroom. He sat on his bed for a moment. He was in the city. A city full of people. Why was it so hard for him to be seen and heard? He felt invisible sometimes. He looked at his phone. There was nothing very interesting. It was just something he was doing out of habit. He turned the light off. He laid down. His eyes were open. He couldn’t see anything. It was dark. Out of his periphery, he could see the light of his phone fading. He wasn’t tired but he didn’t want to do anything. He closed his eyes. He told himself tomorrow would be another day.