The Spy who Wasn't

Have you ever had something bad happen and wished that you had a superhero in your corner? It’s a rarity for me and I’ll admit that given a minute to think this through, I may have done everything differently. I drive a school bus and have a lot of time on my hands between my morning and afternoon runs. I read a lot and love spotting grammatical errors and telling myself that I could write better than that. This is how my interest in writing a book started. I did a little research on how to become a novelist and how to publish a book. My research showed me just how easy it was to write and self-publish a book. I found myself a publishing website and submitted a novel to be published.

Social media was my promotional platform and after several weeks of no royalties or sales, I started to cry. As the days dragged on with no sales. I bought an author’s copy off of the publisher’s website and read my masterpiece.

The book was horrible and full of typos and grammatical mistakes. Someone must’ve rewritten my novel, I told myself over and over again. I was not capable of such horrid grammatical mistakes. Never had I been so ashamed. Upon finishing the book, I pulled it from the website in disgrace.

Days later I sat down to rewrite my novel. This time I used an expensive copy editor to bounce my rewrite off of, and a book cover editor to redo my cover. After months of rewrites and editing, it was ready to be published again. We decided that we needed a new title and someone to write a catchy promo for the book. I was now invested, having already spent hundreds on editing and design. What was another five hundred, to get the best promotional gig out there.

I purchased a hundred author copies and rented space at the local bookstore, per my promotor's suggestion. I signed books all day. My fingers were cramped by the time the bookstore closed. I paid the rental fee out of my sales and noted that I had made a profit of one whole dollar.

Hooray, I made a profit. I sat back in my chair and gloated. My gloating was short-lived as I tuned in to watch FIX News several days later. The lead anchor, Bob Cutcher had read my book and perceived a hidden agenda. I watched in horror as he accused me of being a traitor and enemy of the state. According to him my novel was full of innuendo and state secrets.

My editor called the moment the piece aired, and asked if it was true. I said that I was innocent and had no idea where he had arrived at his conclusions. My publisher called and said they would not publish my next book. “What next book?” I cringed, wondering if the negative publicity was hurting the sale of my book. Why else would the publisher say that? I checked my royalties page and there in black and white, ten thousand smackaroos and climbing.

The next day, agents came to my house and hauled me downtown to be interrogated. Once I was released, the reporters showed up. I couldn’t go anywhere without an entourage of reporters, waiting for me to reveal my truth and name my source(s). The bus director gave me a forced leave of absence after the bus was mobbed by reporters, at the elementary school, while my students were loading. My life was spiraling in a bad way. I couldn’t go anywhere without being accosted.

Thinking back to the call from the publisher, I pondered the amount and asked myself if it was worth writing another book. My greedy self answered yes as my cellphone rang. Caller unknown. I let it go to voicemail and then listened to the message after they had finished. The caller claimed to be from GNN, a global news network, and wanted to know if I would be interested in coming on their show and talking about my book. They left a number to call and that I was to ask for Molly Prentiss.

I looked up the person and yes, they worked for GNN, as a public interest investigative reporter. I called the number from the official website and asked for the reporter. After about fifteen holds and transfers the Ms. Prentiss came on the line. We talked for an hour and I told her everything that I had been through since publishing my book. Molly laughed, amused by the fact that the press had read so much into the novel. Going forth she said that in the interest of fairness, she still wanted to interview me on air and let the viewers see that it was all a big mistake. Molly wanted me to know that her network had not been the ones to break the story and it had been a serious rival and she wanted to be able to set the record straight at their expense. I laughed and agreed to go on air with her in two days time.

A limo town car pulled up outside on the morning of the interview and drove me to studio in the downtown area of my town. The driver informed me that due to the nature of the interview, the reporter had rented a studio in my hometown, so that she could also ask the locals about me and what their take was on my sudden infamy. I told some of my co-workers about the interview and they had been outside of my home on the morning of the interview and had followed me to the studio. The reporter was waiting outside as we drove up. Ms. Molly Prentiss had already found a few people to interview and the camera crew zoomed in on the limousine as the driver opened the door for me.

As I looked around, my co-workers had pulled up and were getting out of their vehicles and were watching intently and a few were yelling my name and telling me that they were with me till the end. Yeah, I don’t think any of them care about anything except getting their faces on the news. And it worked. The camera crew panned the crowd of my co-workers and the investigator walked over to a few of them and asked quick questions and held a microphone up to them to record their answers.

We finally went into the studio and she gestured for me to sit in one of the chairs that was in the middle of the room as she sat down in another. The camera crew set up a tripod and got to work setting up the lighting and backdrop for the interview and clipped a microphone to my shirt and another to the woman sitting across from me. There was a coffee table in front of us and a pitcher of ice water and two glasses. I poured myself a glass, suddenly parched. I drank it down and refilled my glass. She smiled at me and said, “Don’t worry, I read your book and I did not make the same leaps and jumps as the other networks.”

The camera man gave us a countdown and suddenly we were live.

“Good morning everyone. I am here today, to bring to light a terrible misunderstanding. This woman has been hounded relentlessly ever since her novel went viral on social media and a reporter went on air and made some serious accusations about the perceived threats he had read in the book. With me is the author of the novel. Please welcome, Pamela Trainer.”

I heard applause and looked around. A soundtrack of applause had been uploaded to the studio to simulate a live interview. I chuckled to myself, realizing that this was a recorded interview and would be edited later. I took another sip of water and cleared my throat and nodded at the camera.

“Now tell me Pam. May I call you Pam?” I nodded, “I would like for you to tell me in your own words where you got the idea for the characters in your book and where the plot came from.” Molly said to me.

“Well, I don’t really know. I have always been a fan of spy novels from John Bind to Joseph Sneer. If it was about espionage, I read it. I fashioned my characters from my favorite books and put a little mystery spin on the whole thing. As for the plot, I really don’t know. I just write and my fingers just keep the story going.”

Molly laughed, “Well your book really inspired me to get to the bottom of these allegations. Can you tell me where Bob Cutcher, of FIX News, came up with the ridiculous idea that you were a spy and had written a tell-all book about our government?”

“No, I’ve been asking myself the same thing. I really don’t know how he jumped to that conclusion. "

Molly asked her next question, “Tell us what happened when Bob broke the story that your book was a threat to our government.”

“My editor called first to ask me if it was true. She was afraid they would come after her I guess. The next day a government agent came to my house and arrested me and took me down to their office in town and grilled me for forty-eight hours. They kept asking the same question over and over. Who was my source? I couldn’t tell them who my source was because there wasn’t one. They finally let me go and told me to stay in the area in case they needed to talk to me some more.”

“Wow, that must’ve been scary to say the least.” Molly said as she poured me another glass of water.

“Yeah, I have never been so scared. All I could think of was why this was happening to me. The book wasn’t that good. It was not even making any money until he accused me of being a traitor.”

Molly started laughing, “Yes, that is the way it goes sometimes. Can you tell me about what happened to you when you were released from custody?”

“Well, I was given a ride back to my place by the agent that arrested me. He dropped me off with another warning not to leave town. Reporters were lined up outside my house waiting like vultures to pounce on me. I ducked and ran into the house and called the police to get them off of my property. My heart was broken at the mess I found in my house. They had searched my house and had not cleaned up afterwards. My computer was gone, several of my knickknacks were destroyed. I guess they were looking for secret gadgets or something.”

“So did the police show up?”

“Oh boy, did they ever? Seven patrol cars with sirens and lights descended on my property scattering the reporters. One officer came to my door and said they couldn’t make them leave but they could keep them off my property. He came in and looked at the mess and asked if the reporters were responsible. I answered truthfully and the next thing I know, they have a forensics team in my house, searching for evidence that I was a spy and traitor to the country. After they were through, they also told me not the leave and to stay put in case they had more questions.”

“It’s hard to believe that all this was caused by someone who misinterpreted your novel. You must go on and tell us more. What happened after the police investigation?”

“Well, I am a school bus driver and the reporters followed my bus to the school one afternoon and barged onto my bus as I was loading my kids at the school. The children were screaming and crying and the principal of the school called the police. The same officer I had met earlier, came and shooed the paparazzi off the property and told me that it was getting to be a habit with me and he wasn’t pleased. The next day, my boss put me on an extended leave of absence without pay.”

“That must’ve been hard to take. Now that your steady income was gone all you had was the profits from your books. How did that make you feel?”

I looked at her incredulously, “What do you mean, how’d it feel? I was angry! I was being accused of something I didn’t do and now I didn’t have a job, and I missed my students. How do you think it made me feel?”

“I had to ask the question that was on everyone’s mind. The people really want to know how you are feeling. Is there anything you would like to say to the reporter that started all this?” Molly smiled her most brilliant smile as she made me her weapon of choice.

“Yes, I do. I am going to sue that man and his network for everything they have. The sales from my book keep increasing and I can now afford a really good attorney and I am sure once people see this broadcast, my phone will start ringing. I want to thank you Molly for asking me that question, because up until that moment, I had not thought about what I needed to make all of this go away.”

Molly beamed as she reached over and patted my arm, “It has been a pleasure hearing your story and setting my audience straight on your circumstances. I am sorry that all this has happened to you and I will be following your lawsuit for my network.”

She nodded at the cameraman and he shut off the camera. “That was great, you did well. I could not have had a better interview. When you said you were going to sue, that was the icing on the cake. I am going to give you my card and as soon as you find a lawyer to represent you, let me know. I wasn’t lying when I said that I wanted to follow your lawsuit. Bob Cutcher is going to get what he deserved. His reporting has caused a lot of suffering, not only to you, but to a lot of other people that I have interviewed and it has to stop. The interview will air on the Molly Prentiss show in two days in case you want to watch it. The limo will drive you home now. I look forward to hearing from you soon.”

I invited some of my co-workers to come over a couple of days later. I wanted company when I watched the interview. I turned on the television and tuned into the GNN broadcast. The Molly Prentiss show was just coming on. We watched as it went from an interview of my co-workers to the indoor studio. We laughed at the way we sounded and even though not everything we said was on the air, it was good. As the program drew to a close, my cellphone rang. Unknown caller.