Hades Revolver

This is a page of time from “Our Lady Universe’s” book of two fucks. In this story, Jimmy Walker is about to get more than he bargained for, at the hands of the Hades Revolver. Do do do do. Do do do do.

As Jimmy awoke in his office at the club, with some random naked woman laying on his chest. He pushed her off him and stumbled to the restroom.

Before he closed the door, he turned to her and said, “Bitch, grab your shit and get out of my office.”

“Ok Jimmy,” she said with fear in her voice.

A long time ago, Jimmy wanted money and fame more than anything. He wanted it so badly that he devised a plan to make a deal with the devil.

His plan began to form at the age of 10. He learned his grandfather had left him a small fortune that he could have access to at the age of 18. One thing he knew for certain was that he did not want to wait that long. He started to study books on rituals and devil worshipping and by the time he was 14, his knowledge was extensive. He dove into drugs, alcohol and had an overall dark appearance. His parents believed this was just a phase and would pass eventually but they couldn’t have been more wrong. That night everything changed.

Now stop and think a minute, have you ever wondered why murderers’ eyes are black…dead? Well, read on…

Now Jimmy and his parents did not live in the best of neighborhoods, so Jimmy’s dad made sure that all the windows were barred and the doors had double locks. He never thought that the things he did to keep his family safe would end up doing the opposite.

After much planning over the years, Jimmy decided it was time to put his plan into action. He started to gather all the items necessary and before he could begin the summoning, something unexpected happened. A beautiful woman appeared in his room. She had no horns, no pitchfork, just a handbag, blinding beauty and dangerous eyes. He knew immediately who it was, and he bowed his head.

“Master,” Jimmy said, keeping his eyes down.

She reached into her handbag and pulled out a glowing revolver, pointed it at Jimmy and fired it once into his head. Jimmy could feel whatever good was left in him being sucked out, into that revolver. She put the gun back into her handbag and looked at Jimmy.

“The items you need are all laid out for you to complete your task,” the Devil said, pointing over by Jimmy’s window.

Jimmy looked over the items, then back again to where she was standing, but she was gone. He wasted no more time, stood up and walked over to the items. First, he would change the door locks, so his parents could not get out, then he would build a rude version of an untraceable fire starter and place it near some insulation in the dusty, old attic and he would walk out the front door, locking it behind him.

Jimmy did not look back. He began to walk down the alley behind his house, and she appeared again.

“Did you do as you were ordered?” the Devil asked.

“Yes, Master,” Jimmy replied.

“Very good, now it’s time for your reward,” said the Devil smiling but the smile did not change those eyes…

Now back to the present…

Jimmy was now in his early 20’s and it was about to happen again.

Jimmy looked at himself in the mirror, thinking that he had to get to his lawyer’s office. He set a rail of cocaine…sniff. His head began to clear and numb his hangover.

Ring…

“Mr. Walker, I am here in the garage with your car, when you’re ready,” said the driver.

“Ok, be right there,” Jimmy replied.

As Jimmy got dressed, he thought about his meeting with the lawyer. He killed a family in an accident where he was under the influence. He wondered how his attorney would get him out of this one.

He took the elevator down to the garage, the doors opened, and he started walking towards where his vehicle was parked.

“Jimmy Walker,” the Devil said knowingly as she stepped into the dim light.

“Yes?” Jimmy said hesitantly as he turned towards her, already knowing who it was.

He almost pissed himself looking into those cruel, dark eyes. He knew this visit would have a price.

“Why so nervous?” the Devil asked in a mocking tone.

“Got a big day,” Jimmy responded.

“Yes, you do. That’s why I’m here. You did a good job getting rid of that family. Father Jones never saw that coming,” the Devil said with a sneer.

“Anyway, I will make this go away, but I have another job for you Jimmy.”

“Yes?” asked Jimmy nervously.

“I need you to murder a baby. It is destined to become the savior of man,” said the Devil.

Jimmy bowed his head, “Yes, Master.”

“After you go meet your attorney at court, I will tell you the details of what you need to do,” said the Devil.

“Ok,” Jimmy said.

Jimmy walked into the courthouse, and he saw his attorney motioning him over.

“The Judge dropped the charges. Those idiots lost the evidence. Let’s go home,” his attorney said shaking Jimmy’s hand.

Jimmy left the courthouse and got back into his car. His driver came to a stop at a red light and Jimmy heard some sort of commotion in the front seat, then the car continued.

Bzzzzzzz….the dark divider slid down.

“Jimmy,” said the Devil, who was sitting in the front passenger seat.

“Yes, Master?” Jimmy asked as the car came to a stop in front of a run-down looking apartment building.

“We are here. Now, go up to room 212 and take all their heads off,” the Devil handed Jimmy a machete and continued, “there will also be two angels up there, kill them with this,” this time she pulled out that glowing revolver and handed it to him.

He looked down at it and he could feel its power. He exited the vehicle, but it felt like there was an anvil on his chest. A baby’s head? He took a deep breath and thought, “fuck it, the Devil has not failed him yet.”

He approached door 212 and he could hear a baby crying inside. The door was slightly ajar, so he pushed it, and it creaked loudly. He started to walk in when a winged angel flew at him, “oh shit!” Jimmy thought as he fired 4 shots from the revolver and the angel dropped. Jimmy used the machete and took its head.

He walked slowly towards the cries. He saw what he assumed to be the baby’s mother, passed out on the bed, with a needle in her arm. Jimmy walked over to her, raised the machete…whack! Blood squirted from her neck, the head still holding on. He swung again…whack! This time severing the head.

Hmm, this was not as bad as he imagined, he enjoyed it. He turned towards the baby raising his machete.

Ok, we got to sensor this folks! I mean, who writes about beheading a child? Come on! Does he do it you ask? Yes and no, let’s go back and see what happens.

He swung the machete down…crack…the baby disappeared. He heard a noise and turned. The other angel had the baby and quickly flew out the window.

Fuck! He knew the Devil would be angry! He looked down at the Hades Revolver and wondered if it would kill the Devil?

Jimmy ran away towards the old train yard and hid in an empty train car. He was covered in blood, what was he going to do? He looked again at the revolver and noticed it was fully loaded. How was this possible? He fired 4 shots.

He had a plan to somehow get to his office, grab his passport and fly to his Uncle Joe’s in Spain. Uncle Joe was big and tough, he would surely help him, right? He started to run down a nearby alley to the next neighborhood and he thought it looked familiar. It was his childhood home, or what was left of it.

The fire had consumed it, and no one bothered to rebuild it. He walked over the rubble to the shed in the back.

“I’ll be damned, “ he said quietly.

It was a box of his father’s clothes. He changed and started walking in the direction of his office. He walked in and snuck past the security guards unnoticed. Once in his office, he grabbed some cash that he kept stashed for an emergency and his passport.

“Jimmy Walker,” said the Devil from the dark corner.

Jimmy jumped and turned, “Yes, master?” He felt for the Hades Revolver he had in his waistband.

“Ha! Boy, do you really think you can kill me?” asked the Devil amused.

“Yes,” replied Jimmy, pointing the gun at the Devil.

The Devil snapped her fingers, and the Hades Revolver disappeared. Jimmy really did piss himself now. What was he going to do now?

“Boy, you are the one. I am sure of it now,” said the Devil.

“I am?” asked Jimmy confused.

“Yes, I am your mother,” said the Devil. “Now, get ready it’s time for my PRINCE TO RISE!”