Love and Donovan

The only New Year’s resolution I had this year was not to fall in love. In the past, I have wished for nothing else on New Year’s Eve except for love. Last year, I thought I had it made when I met Donovan shortly after the new year started. He was everything I thought I wanted in a relationship – taller than me, educated, was easy on the eyes, well-spoken, chocolate brown eyes and my mother loved him. I overheard her on the phone one night telling her friend she wished she was thirty years younger so she could date and marry Donovan instead of my father. I wasn’t entirely sure if I should take her comments as a compliment or stop bringing him to the house for Sunday dinner. 

“So Donovan, tell us about your family. Do you have any siblings? Where do your parents live?” My mother asked serving him the pot roast she had spent most of the day making. I noticed she was wearing a new shirt tonight, but when she had bought it, I don’t know.  She had been working a lot in the past week and had been home every night by six.  So unless she went during her lunch break, I’m not sure when she would have had time to go by the mall for new clothes. Which was suspicious since we always went shopping together. Always. 

“My older brother still lives in Kansas City so he can help out some with my parents,” Donovan said, smiling politely at my mother. “They live a few miles from him and he goes over on Sunday nights for dinner, much like this one.”  

“And does he have his own family? Wife and kids?” My mother smiled sweetly at Donovan as she sat back down. She didn’t offer to serve anyone else the pot roast and kept her eyes on Donovan. 

I was getting suspicious. Again. I was hoping I could trust my mother, but every time I started to think she had changed, she went off the rails again. Most of my friends refused to come over to the house anymore because she had manipulated so many of their parents into various events and change that was solely for her benefit, they flat refused to come over. Now she had a new shirt and had her hair done before my new boyfriend came over for dinner. She had been flirting (to a certain degree) when I had my boyfriends over as I got older. Once I had brought it up and I had been grounded for two weeks. 

I just hope Donovan was smarter than to think my mom really wanted him. I think she only wanted the attention of a much younger man so my father would be jealous. Not that he had a place to stand since he had been cheating on my mom since I was nine. The way he dug into his pot roast meant that he either didn’t notice what was happening. Or at the very least, didn’t care about what was happening right in front of him. 

My mother continued the conversation going with Donovan and weirdly, he never seemed to be the least bit bothered by her attention. Every time I tried to break in, one of the two would give me a short response and go back to their conversation like I hadn’t tried to interrupt. 

“Your mother seems very nice,” Donovan said as my parents got the dessert out of the kitchen.  Dessert was also a new thing of my mother. We have had dessert after a dinner twice in my entire life. Once when I got my first period and once on the day I turned sixteen. 

I stopped myself from responding when I saw his lovestruck eyes. I was really hoping this was one big joke and I was about to wake up from a nightmare. Donovan and my mother? My mother and Donovan? Why wasn’t my father doing anything? 

“I’m actually not feeling very well. Can you take me home?” I asked as my stomach started to lurch. I didn’t want the pot roast to come back up all over the rug my mother had recently gotten cleaned. 

“Oh, are you sure? That pie sure smells good...” Donovan’s voice trailed off as my mother entered carrying a cherry pie. My father followed closely behind with vanilla ice cream and slightly glazed eyes. I began to wonder how much he had had to drink before we came over. It looks like he had had a little more to drink while they were getting the pie out and ready. 

“Mom, dad, I’m really sorry, but I am not feeling very well. I think we are going to need to leave.” If I had to watch the two of them fawn all over each other any longer, I really was going to throw up. 

“But I made the pie especially for Do- for the two of you.” She caught herself right before she said Donovan’s name.  Apparently nobody seemed to care or pay attention. Except for me. Everyone did finally take me into consideration when I shoved them aside to rush to the bathroom.   

Donovan and I did not talk on the entire ride home until he said goodnight when he dropped me off at my tiny studio apartment. I had managed to stay in the bathroom long enough for him to eat his piece of pie and ogle all over my mother without me having to be present. The thought almost made me sick again, but the fact I couldn’t find an extra toothbrush in the guest bathroom was enough to keep the little pot roast I had left, down. By the time I did come out of the bathroom, he was standing at the front door with his car keys in his hand. He wouldn’t meet my eyes so I knew things between us were over before they had really even started. 

Donovan and I never saw each other again after that night. I’m not sure if he and my mother ever saw each other again, but I haven’t asked. All I know is that she didn’t talk to me for a few weeks after. I assume it was partially because I embarrassed her by getting sick while Donovan was there, but I also partially believe she and Donovan were still seeing each other and she didn’t want me to ask. I don’t think she cared if I knew, but she didn’t want to talk about it. She was going to have her fun and didn’t want me to spoil any part of it.  So this year, my resolution is not to fall in love with anybody but myself. We’ll see how long it lasts.