Not For Me

Here we go again. All over Facebook, Twitter, even family members and friends - New Year Resolutions. Ugh! Why do people do this to themselves? I, for one, refuse to participate in this nonsense. I mean really, how often does one actually fulfill the resolution(s). I remember in my younger days making promises to myself like: I was going to ask Kevin out, I was going to tryout for the track team, I was going to make myself popular. Yada yada yada. How silly I was.

None of my resolutions ever came true. So, they weren't realistic. I tried more down-to-earth ones as I got older. I was going to create a painting that would end up in a museum. That dream, if you will, ended when I sprained my wrist. There was the I'm going to take my relationship with David more seriously resolution. I didnt. He is a famous actor now with a beautiful model for a wife. Who knew??

I'm doing my usual grocery shopping. I don't have any big plans for New Year Eve or day compared to others but the plans I do have are perfect for my world. All around me people are looking excited, walking quickly and some are practically dancing down the aisle. I'm walking casually and wondering if I should grab a nice bottle of wine. I decide a Rose' would be perfect and also toss some nice cheeses in the basket. While looking at the fresh shrimp, I overhear a conversation two woman are having.

"So you think he'll pop the question tonight? The redhead ask. The brunette seemed preoccupied with the salmon, like she was avoiding the question. But, the redhead was persistent. "Angie stop acting like you can't hear me. I mean how long has it been now, three years? You really need to move on if he doesn't propose tonight." Angie looks angry now. "You know Rachel for some one who can't seem to find a man of her own, you sure have a lot of advice."

I couldn't help myself. I kept lingering. "What are you implying Angie." Not a question but a loud screeching statement. I wasn't the only one paying attention now. The look on Angie's face surprised me; she was smiling. "Not implying - saying clearly. Ever year your resolution is to find a man that's not taken. You even go so far as to say you're going to stop being "the other one". Yet every time I turn around you're in a awkward situation but your giving me advice." The word advice was said harshly and with a sneer on her face. This was getting good.

By this time, a small crowd had gathered. There was the aproned, store clerk pretending to straighten the meat. The young ladies just across the aisle who appeared to be filming the whole episode. The older gentleman pretending he couldn't get past the couple who were way to curious about a box of crackers as well as the hipsters who kept inching closer, they had yet to put anything in their cart. A lady with a toddler who was well on her way to becoming the worlds youngest thief, she was just staring blatantly. Rachel was beyond angry now. "You're just jealous. You always have been. I can't help it if men find me attractive. I'm beautiful. Men can't help themselves around me. I turn heads where ever I go. You can't deal with that. I know a lot more about men than you ever will. Even Keith hits on me when you're not looking. Lucky for you, he's not my type." Whoa! All this because a resolution had been exposed to the masses. The slap was so hard and so fast I wished I had a remote to rewind.

"You're disgusting. For your information, Keith proposed a year ago; I accepted. We are getting married this summer with family and close friends in attendance. You were not aware because my resolution last year was not to talk to you about my personal business. I had actually succeeded with a resolution for the first time; until you made me angry. This year's resolution is to be done with you and your negativity. Have a nice life Rachel." Angie left with her head held high and hardy applause. One old lady I hadn't noticed before walked past Rachel and called her a whore. Heads were shaking, there was a lot of mumbling, some laughter, before the audience broke-up. Again, all this in the matter of perhaps twenty minutes because of a new year resolution. Yet, many all around the world will write them down or tell someone or both.

What did Rachel do? Started telling those of us that was still in ear-shot how ironic that her and Angie had similar resolutions. She didn't need jealous friends. Oh, and she wanted us to know that Angie was lying; she never had affairs with men that were already taken. We found that hard to believe as we watched her flirt with the store clerk who clearly had on a wedding band.

I grabbed my shrimp and headed for one of the overcrowded checkout lines. Wouldn't you know, the cashier said hello then started telling me her resolution was to find a better job. I wished her good luck. On the way home, I looked at all the beautiful lights, the advertisements for New Year's Eve parties and specials and felt happy. My husband had made it home while I was out and I could smell a great pizza cooking. We were having a small gathering of friends for an adult sleepover. Great people, food, music, games, good conversation would make for a great night. There would be no resolutions from this lady. I am perfectly fine with taking one day at a time. I do not like them-resolutions. No you won't have bad luck if you don't make one. Nonsense! Anyone that even mentioned it tonight or tomorrow would be thrown-out on the freshly shoveled walkway. Nope. It's not for me.