The tale of the cheese

June 23^rd was not by any means a special day, to everyone but the McKneely’s. They would spend the day hiking through the woods to a specific spot in which they would burry a large wheel of cheese. It was important that they did this every year because…

“It all started in the seventeen hundreds, on a dark night. The only sound to be heard were the quiet thunders in the distance, and the only light to be seen was the flashing lightning overhead. Great, great, great uncle Gulliver was in a deep sleep when all of a sudden-” Donna stopped, hearing the doorbell.

“I’ll be right back.” She said, leaving her cousins in mystery. 

Opening the door, she saw her older brother, Devin with a large white box. Grabbing the box, Donna headed to the kitchen. 

“IT’S THE CHEESE!” Donna yelled, calling all five of her cousins to meet them in the kitchen.

“Wow, no thanks?” Devin asked sarcastically. 

They all crowded together around the table to admire the large wheel of cheese. It’s sides were covered in golden brown layers and it’s center was a pretty pale yellow. Forged in the deepest pits of Switzerland, made just 50 years before great, great, great uncle Gulliver woke up that night, it was gruyere. Absolutely exquisite. 

“Finish the story!” Ella begged, she, the youngest of the McKneely’s was the one who posed the question of why first.

“What story?” Devin aske, settling in to the kitchen.

“Donna was telling us the completely wrong story of why we burry the cheese.” Carly explained.

Donna gasped dramatically, “It is not! You didn’t even let me finish!” She complained.

“Oh by all means, finish the tale of great, great, great uncle Gulliver.” Fitz mocked.

“Yeah, yeah, where was I? Oh right, so he was in a deep sleep when all of a sudden he heard a loud ‘squeak’. Now we all know that uncle Gulliver ran a bakery, that ‘squeak’ indicated that a rat was present. Rats, the vermin of all food establishments. Gulliver knew what he had to do. He high tailed to the pharmacy across the street to get some rat poison, but seeing as he showed up covered in rain water, he wouldn’t be taken seriously.” Donna said mischievously, earning multiple eye rolls.

“By the time he came back, he could see the rats. It was happening all too quickly, he rushed off to the cheese shop which had not been infected with the rat plague. He arrive and ordered the largest, most exquisite cheese they had ever made, the gruyere. It was beautiful. At that time they had painted the edges purple, to mark the highest quality. Uncle Gulliver had concocted a plan, a plan to get rid of all the rats that were taking over the bakery. He marched far off into the deep dark woods on the outskirts of town.” Donna said, building up suspense, now allowing the cousins to become interested.

“A trail of rat’s followed him all the way from the bakery, one by one in a neat line. Oh what a spectacle it was, the towns people talked about it for weeks after. Soon though, Gulliver reached a deep hole in the ground, of which he threw the wheel of cheese into, thus allowing the rats to follow in pursuit. Once all the rats had disappeared down the hole, Gulliver made quick work and covered up the hole, thus trapping the rats in there forever and ridding the town of the plague.” Donna finished with a toothy grin.

“Well that was utter nonsense.” Mayura muttered to herself.

“And I suppose you have a better theory?” Donna asked, her voice clearly laced with distain.

“I do in fact.” Mayura smirked proudly.

“Well go on then, let’s hear it.” Fitz asked, now fully interested.

Once more, the cousin’s found themselves on the couches listening to another story of their strange tradition.

“There was once a small patch of red and white mushrooms along the horizon. It was inhabited by fairies. Thousands of tiny little fairies. And they were ruled by the gracious Queen Tatiana, a glorious fairy who loved each of her subjects with all of her heart. They lived peacefully for hundreds of years before the attacks started, the attacks of the cat.” Mayura started before she was interrupted.

“The cat?” Carly asked skeptically. 

“Yes, the cat! A ferocious being that wreaked havoc amongst the fairies. Queen Tatiana searched far and wide, high and low to be able to find a solution to this horrid menace. Soon enough, after months of searching, she ran into a witch.” Mayura continued before once again being interrupted.

“There’s a witch now?” Devin asked, matching Carly’s skeptic tone.

“Do you want me to finish the story or not?” Mayura snapped.

“Sorry, sorry. Please finish!” Ella begged dramatically.

Mayura rolled her eyes but continued her story anyways. “So the witch told her that she needed a solid form of dairy that she could use to word off the evil spirits within the cat. So they formed a team of military chefs to try and make the solid form of dairy. It took them precisely three weeks, five days and two hours to invent cheese. It was a perfect solution with only one problem, that being the solid form of dairy was too large and heavy for even the strongest fairies to transport. So Queen Tatiana decided to do something she’d never done before, trust a human!” Mayura declared.

“Of course.” Donna muttered under her breath earning a glare from Mayura.

“So Queen Tatiana herself, secretly ventured into the human village where she met our ancestors and tasked them with the power of diminishing the spirit of the cat. And since then, our family has helped Queen Tatiana and all of the fairies stay safe from the tyranny of the cat.” Mayura finished.

“Little cousin, sorry to tell you. But you’re once again wrong.” Fitz smirked.

“Let me guess, you’re the only one who knows the actual story?” Ella asked, her voice clearly laced with sarcasm.

Before Fitz could answer, Devin and Donna’s parent’s walked in. 

“Good, everyone’s here already.” Their mom said, heading to the kitchen.

“We can leave right now then.” Their dad said, motioning all of them to follow him to the minivan.

“It’s my turn to tell the story!” Fitz complained as they piled in the large vehicle. 

“No one’s stopping you.” Carly said sassily. 

Fitz gave her a tight smile before starting his story. “It actually started in the industrial era, during the Ozhiphen war. Our many ancestors worked in the special forces in the army and usually dealt with cases of espionage.” Fitz started, as both parent’s entered the car and the journey began.

“Grandma Casoria was in that unit, in fact, she was second in command, with Grandpa being not so far down the ranks.” Fitz mentioned as he wiggled his eyebrows.

“The other side was closing in on us, and the first in command had no clue on what to do. So grandma took it upon herself to figure it out. The other side was much more capable than us, and they had plenty more weapons. But they had signed a contract stating that they wouldn’t harm anyone who wasn’t directly involved in the conflict, meaning citizens.” Fitz said seriously.

“So as skeevy as it was, grandma Casoria used this to her advantage. She left the military and went straight to the cheese shop, not bothering to change out of her uniform, she bought a huge wheel of cheese. She wandered into no-mans-land and started to dig a hole, large and deep, in which she would put the cheese in.” Fitz said, now getting interrupted by Ella.

“Who signs a contract that wouldn’t benefit them?” She wondered with serious thought, but keeping quiet after she received a death glare from Fitz.

“She did obviously get caught, and unfortunately was shot. However, that’s exactly what grandma Casoria wanted. She did eventually recover from the wound and get the proper treatment. But because of her brave actions, the other side was reprimanded and left defenseless for a time at which was used to our advantage. That’s is how we won the war, although, grandma Casoria never received a reward for her brave actions. We, the McKneely’s burry a wheel of cheese every year in honor of her brave sacrifice.” Fitz smiled victoriously.

“That’s even worse!” Donna yelled.

“Yeah? Well at least it’s better than your stupid rat thing!” Fitz countered.

“They were both stupid!” Mayura cut in.

“Not as ridiculous as your fairy nonsense!” Both Fitz and Donna blurted out at the same time.

“KIDS!” Donna and Devin’s mom yelled from the front seat. “What is the issue?” She asked angrily.

“They’re arguing about why we burry cheese.” Carly stated nonchalantly. 

Donna and Devin’s dad burst out in laughter, while their mom had a ghost of a smile on her lips.

“It was all because of a bet.” Their dad said in between laughs.

“A BET?” Each cousin asked at the same time, obviously confused.

“Yes, your grandfather, my father, made a bet with his coworker just before Devin was born. It was about something stupid, I’m sure, but my father was so convinced he was right that he bet thirty percent of each of your collage funds.” Their mom explained.

“He was wrong of course. So as a compromise, every year, we have to burry the cheese in the forest so that we can hold on to your collage funds. It really is a small price to pay.” She shrugged, leaving all of the kids stunned.

“I like the fairy thing better.” Ella squeaked, resulting in a loud fit of laughter. It was a good June 23^rd for the McKneely family.