Follow Your Heart and Let Destiny Guide You

     Crunch… crunch… crunch…The sound of their footprints continued as they trekked through the snow. 

     “W-w-w-we’v-v-ve been w-w-w-walking for hours!” said Pudgy boy as he shivered. Ironically, Pudgy boy was not pudgy at all. He was slender and tall but walked with poor posture. His clothes were oversized and all he was wearing was a Nike spoof t-shirt that said “Just fuck it!” in big neon orange letters on the front. 

     “Quit your whining! Jeez! Humans are so weak!” Wolfie’s voice was gruff with a tone that indicated a bit of street cred. He was half-wolf and half-human, but he was all sorts of fucked up--the product of cruel gene experiments. 

     The snow was fresh and the sun glistened through the trees. “We’ve got great cover for now,” said Wolfie. “Pretty soon when it all melts, they’re gonna come looking for us.”

     “Good! I can’t do this anymore. I need a venti mocha and a fuckin’ cheeseburger!” Pudgy boy’s bottomless stomach began to talk for him. 

     “Fuckin’ A! If I didn’t need you, we wouldn’t be out here. Just look behind you. We’re good to go.” Wolfie was talking about the orange building they had just escaped from. It was getting smaller in the background the further they walked. 

     “Whah!” Pudgy boy screamed in a falsetto that Mariah Carey would be jealous of. Wolfie paid no mind and kept forging ahead. “I can’t see my footprints! I have no feet! My feet are gone!” 

     Wolfie disappeared into the tree line. “Quit your whining you pussy! Follow your heart and let destiny guide you!” 

     “Where are you, you beast? I need vodka… stat! Maybe some buffalo wings.” 

     No Wolf-man in Pudgy’s sight. Pudgy boy looked back behind him and still saw no footprints. He saw a figure in the distance approaching him. The figure began moving at a steady pace, neither fast nor slow. Pudgy turned and started to scurry. The tall and frail young man, ironically named, started to move faster. As Pudgy boy glanced behind him, the figure was getting uncomfortably close, still moving at a steady pace. 

     “Wolfie! Come back! I’m being chased!” Pudgy screamed as he clawed his way through the snow.

     “Follow your heart and let destiny guide you,” Wolfie’s voice echoed as it surrounded Pudgy boy. 

     “Come back and bite this guy, you mutt! I’ll give you a treat!”

     The figure continued to pursue Pudgy.

     “How the fuck is this guy moving so fast?” Pudgy voiced his thoughts aloud as he darted into a full-on sprint through the snow. The figure was more visible and closer the faster Pudgy boy ran. As Pudgy’s adrenaline coursed through his frail frame, the figure reached out and grabbed his shoulder.

     “Bro… are you ok?” The figure turned out to be Pudgy boy’s best friend in the whole world, Max. “You hit that salvia pretty hard homey! You ran outside and started doing laps around the building bro! Here, drink this. I put a Mandy Bomb in it. You should be straight in a few.” 

     “Homey!” Pudgy shouted as he noticed Max, “You shoulda seen where I was. There was snow everywhere and I didn’t have any feet, which sucks because I got these Jordans for Christmas and I really wanted to wear them…” Pudgy boy went on a rant as he tried to collect himself and share his trip. Pudgy continued, “Some wolf was making me run and he was on his hind legs the whole time. He was mean to me but nice at the same time. He said I should follow my heart and let destiny guide me!” 

     “Destiny? The girl that works at the ‘lie-berry’? She’s r-r-real fine,” Max said. He may not have been a scholar, but he was a true homey. 

     “Whoah… was that what he meant?”

     “No worries bruh. You home now. Ain’t no snow or no woof or none uh that! Smell that air! Go on, take a deep breath,” Max said as he tried to bring Pudgy back from wherever he was.

      “Oh, gross! It tastes like smog… and cilantro. Oh yeah! And a bit of throw up from earlier. Thanks bro!” Pudgy mentioned as he took a deep breath in from the green-tinted air. They looked up to see the flashing sign from the Staples Center in the distance.

     All was right in the world as Max put his arm around Pudgy boy and guided him back inside the apartment. They joined their friends, played video games, and ate fuckin’ cheeseburgers. The motley but merry band of gaming druggies played and ate. Fun was had by all. That is until the Mandy Bomb from thirty minutes ago kicked in.

     “Hurry the fuck up snowball!” Wolfie screamed at Pudgy as gunfire and grenades exploded around them. 

     “You again! What the… “ Pudgy boy said bewildered. This time they were in the trenches of a World War II battle scenario, possibly from Call Of Duty.  

     “Oh shit, B!” Max said as he emerged out of thin air, “I don’t think those were Mandy Bombs homey. They were acid tabs!”

     Wolfie grabbed Pudgy boy by his arm and said, “You gotta charge the hill! Destiny is up there waiting for you!”

     “Not again!” Pudgy boy screamed with both hands on his face.