My Sweet October

“Evermore, my sweet October, that’s how long I’ll love you.” I hear the words as they escape my lips. I can almost taste the sincerity behind them as I speak. I smile. It’s the type of smile that crinkles my nose and makes my eyes all-but disappear. I walk across the hardwoods of my quaint apartment. The windows are open and a crisp autumn breeze wafts gently through the air. I inhale deeply, the scent of fresh morning dew and the coffee shop down the street is scrumptious. Heaven.

           “Oh my sweet October, it’s our time to play.” I hum melodiously as I wrap a warm, wool scarf around my neck. There’s a sense of magic in the air and I can’t help but drink it in. God, I love this time of year. “Let’s see what awaits in our beloved city today.”

           I open the door to my apartment and I’m immediately met with the coolness of an autumn morning. The breeze swirls around me and I shiver. I mosey down the sidewalk, taking in the stillness of the city this morning. Sleepy Hallow, New York. Home sweet home. The heels on my boots make a rhythmic thud against the concrete as I pass by cozy shops and coffee stores. The smell of freshly roasted coffee and decadent pumpkin scones entangles my senses.

           “Good morning, Melanie.” A voice greets me.

           “Good morning, Mrs. Duchannes.” I smile politely. Mrs. Duchannes is the sweetest lady in the neighborhood. She owns a tiny dress shop and knows everyone in town. I feel a sense of warmth inside my soul every time I see her wild, curly gray hair and frilly homemade dresses.

           “Oh my sweet October, how beautiful you are!” Mrs. Duchannes coos softly and marvels in delight. I nod in agreeance. “Where are you off to today, Melanie?”

           “Wherever October takes me.” I giggle.

           “Then you best be on your way, dear.” She gives a little wink, and moves aside as I continue down the sidewalk. I pass the cutest horse-drawn carriage as I close in on the park. I wave to the driver. His name is Ichabod, yes Ichabod. Trust me, the irony is not lost on any of us here in the Hallow. But I think that’s what’s so charming about this place – the whimsy and the wonder that encompasses this community. We’re all family, friends and neighbors. And, oh how we all love sweet, sweet October.

           The park is gorgeous this time of year. The trees are the most vibrant shades of red and orange. There’s flecks of gold that sparkle across the leaves like a sea of misplaced fortunes. Nature’s treasure. I pad down the leafy walkway and find Mr. Crowley, the friendly neighborhood drunk, resting against a tree. His feet are stretched out in the damp grass and his eyes flutter with every gentle gust of wind that finds his face.

           “Mr. Crowley?” I gently nudge him awake.

           “Ah, Melanie!” His voice is groggy and his eyes are glazed over, but his smile is vibrant and bold as he sees me. “How are you doing today, dear?”

           “Simply wonderful, Mr. Crowley, simply wonderful.” I laugh as he struggles to find his footing on the slippery lawn.

           “It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?” He pats his chest in pride as he finally gains his composure.

           “Magnificent.” I smile.

           “Indeed.” His eyes wander the scenery and then fall to where I’m standing again. “Oh, my sweet October, how precious and serene.” He smiles. I simply nod my head, and bid him farewell as I continue my stroll through the park. I do glance behind my shoulder once more and watch as Mr. Crowley resumes his nap against the oak tree. It makes me giggle.

           I soak up the golden rays of sun as I wander through town some more. I stop at the bakery to snag a croissant from Alice Perkins. She’s a longtime friend of mine, and she’s the best baker I’ve ever known. She never charges me for her delicious croissants, and she’s always got the most wonderful things to say about October. I smile as I hear her words again and again, replaying throughout my walk, “Oh, my sweet October, nothing’s as sweet as you.”

           The morning fades to afternoon and the sun is shining bright. The weather is chilly but I don’t mind, in fact it’s my favorite weather. The juxtaposition between the warming sun and chilling air makes me rather happy. And it reminds me of October. My sweet October. Everything about this time of year just makes my soul smile. The innermost part of my being is erupting with nirvana and it feels like everything is right in the world, everything is good.

           I snap back from my momentary retreat into how much I love autumn, and realize I’m coming up on the Sleepy Hallow fire station. I laugh and let out a high pitched whistle using my fingers. It’s not long before I’m kneeling on the curb welcoming an array of sloppy, wet kisses upon my face.

           “Goodness, Bandit, stop licking poor Melanie in the face like that. She doesn’t want your stinky breath.” A masculine voice forces the slobbering to stop. I stand back up and find Fire Sergeant Nathan Thatcher walking over to greet me. The fire station’s mascot and all around “goodest boy” is running excitedly between the two of us. Bandit, a Dalmatian, is the sweetest dog you could ever meet.

           “Don’t listen to him for a second, Bandit, you can cover me in stinky breath whenever you want.” I laugh.

           “What brings you to our neck of the woods, Mel?” Nathan smiles and wraps me in a quick and friendly hug.

           “Strolling through the Hallow, wherever October takes me.” I sigh happily.

           “No better way to spend a day.” He says. “Sweet October is the best.”

           “I couldn’t agree more.” I stay to chat a moment longer, but then insist that Nathan get back to work. I don’t like taking up his time, his work is so important. I can’t help but chuckle, however, as he and Bandit collide and crash into each other as they run back up the steep driveway of the fire station. They’re such goofballs.

           Town is quiet today, which makes the streets of Sleepy Hallow feel even more serene than they normally do. I continue walking throughout the city as the sun begins its decent towards the horizon. An owl lets out the faintest coo as I round the corner towards the Sleepy Hallow cemetery. The elaborate, brassy gate lets out a creak as I open it. The same gorgeous red and yellow leaves cover the ornate lawn of the graveyard. Tombstones and mausoleums are decorated with flowers and wreaths, and the trees cast the softest shadows throughout the cemetery.

           I weave my way in and out of beautifully decorated graves, doing my best to be courteous of the deceased. I finally come to a small, barely tarnished cross that is resting beneath a bright red shade tree. Leaves are falling in the wind as I spread a blanket out across the lawn beside the cross.

           “Okay, my sweet October, here we are. This is where you wanted me to go all along, isn’t it?” I smile. I’m met with the softest coos and babbles as I undo the baby harness that’s kept my infant daughter strapped snuggly against my chest all day. I take her from her harness and rest her gently in my arms. “Here we are October Flynn, my darling daughter, say hello to Daddy.”

           October murmurs and wiggles in my arms, her tiny eyelashes flicker as she dreams. Her infant hands are balled up into fists and she nestles against my chest as I cradle her in my arms. I smile at her as she sleeps. She’s so beautiful. I feel a tug at my heart, however, as I let my eyes wander from my daughter to the headstone that’s before me. It reads – Cooper Jackson Flynn, March 1998 – September 2019. Beloved husband, father, marine.

           “Hi baby,” I smile sadly. “I wanted you to meet our daughter. This is October Melanie Flynn.” I look down at the babe inside my arms.

           “She looks just like you. She has your eyes. Everyone says so.” I say. “Everyone in town’s been so kind. They’ve really taken us in and made us feel like family, so you don’t have to worry about us being alone, okay? We’re doing fine, I promise.” My voice is soft as I speak. Partially as to not wake up October, but partially because it’s hard to even find words. I sigh as I think back on all that has happened in the last year of my life.

~

           Cooper and I had gotten married young, and we had moved to Sleepy Hallow just after the wedding because we both loved the northeast and loved everything about autumn. It wasn’t long after we were married that I found out I was pregnant with our first child. And it was even shorter after that when we found out Cooper was being deployed. Talk about a whirlwind, marriage, pregnancy and war, all within the first few months of our lives together. Cooper was whisked away to combat before I even had my first ultrasound. It was difficult to say the least, being young and in love, but thousands of miles away from my husband, all whilst navigating pregnancy for the first time.

           It was about the time that I began my second trimester that I got the news. Cooper had been killed in battle, and just like that the father of my unborn child and the love of my life was gone, forever. It broke my heart, my spirit, every part of me was shattered. I wasn’t even excited about the rest of my pregnancy. How could I be? I was a single mother before my babe was even born. But things changed when October arrived. The moment I looked into her tiny blue eyes, eyes just like Cooper’s, I knew he was with me, everywhere my sweet October was, there he would be too.

~

           I wipe away a lonely tear from my cheek as I snap back to reality. October is still resting peacefully in my arms. The sun has dipped a little lower in the sky. I smile and place a hand on the top of Cooper’s cross. I can feel him in everything about this place. I see his smile in Mrs. Duchannes’ friendly face. I notice his passion in Alice’s work. I sense his kindness in Mr. Crowley’s greetings. I find his bravery in Nathan. It’s the goodness and warmth of the city that makes me feel like he’s beside me, for that’s exactly who Cooper was. Kind. Warm. Inviting. Everything that makes the Hallow home is tied to my dearly departed husband and in our child he will never know.

           “Evermore, my sweet October, that’s how long I’ll love you.” I lean forward to kiss my daughter’s forehead. She coos against my warmth, finding comfort in her mother. And I know, without a doubt, she finds comfort in her father every day. I see him in her. I feel him in the autumn breeze and I hear him in the hum of the city. I know that though he’s parted from this life we could have built together, he’s never really gone. I smile.

           “Evermore, my dearest Cooper, that’s how long I’ll love you.” I rest my hand on his gravestone once more before I stand and gather my things. I fold the blanket and slip it neatly into my bag. I secure October’s harness and make sure she’s safely tucked against my bosom. The wind picks up and carries a stream of leaves around us, enveloping us like a hug.

           As I turn to leave the cemetery, a single red leaf falls gently to my chest, coming to rest between October’s tiny face and my heart. I take the leaf inside my hand and smile. There’s the most perfect heart shaped hole inside the leaf. I look through it with one eye, glancing back at Cooper’s grave. I move my eyes to my child, looking through the heart once more.

           “I know you’re always with me, Cooper.” I let go of the leaf and it flutters away in the wind of the early autumn evening. “And I’ll look for you, for all my days, in my sweet October.”

The End