The Price Of Favour

Until a fish swallowed me, I had been waiting in the dark at the bottom of a river. After the fish was gutted, I was examined, then pierced and attached to a chain. Humans call me lucky until they learn that luck is never free. It is I who decide the wearer’s fate.

Beth

My sister Charmaine always had to be the best. Beside her, I faded into the background. Not exactly an ugly duckling but missing some primary feathers.

When this story began, I was eighteen and she was sixteen with brilliant green eyes, golden hair, and a cheerleader figure. Oozing confidence, she only had to crook her finger to get what she wanted.

Our family lived in a modest private house on the edge of a sprawling estate. “The wrong side of the tracks,” dad called it - while turning a blind eye to my sister’s frequent trips there. As far as he was concerned, Charmaine was “an angel” who could do no wrong.

The white blocked estate with its polygonal courtyards, connected by a series of ramps, sprawled out more than a mile. To avoid crossing its walkways, I always took the longer route.

There was a time when my sister and I linked arms and laughed about things the way sisters do. The pair of us against the world.

But that was before her hormones kicked in and stepping out with her on the estate became sheer punishment. Before the air thickened with whistles and shouts of “Can you get out tonight, Charmie?” Making me feel like I didn’t exist.

*****

EGBDF: Every good boy deserves favour. Words chalked up on the blackboard of a boy’s school music room where a service conducted by my dad for young people from the estate was held.

One Sunday around 3 o’clock, I sat cringing on one of the plastic seats that had been set up for the “young people’s fellowship group. It was pointless asking him to tone things down because he’d just tell me I should be supporting him in his “missionary work.”

It was a different story when it came to Charmaine. She only had to work her magic on him to get out of going to the meeting.

“Charmaine needs to spend more time on her homework,” dad said and it was true.

How little he knew his own daughter. At the first opportunity, she’d slip out of the house to join her mates from the estate. I saw her staring dreamily at one of the boys from the bedroom window and knew he’d be another to succumb.

*****

When Greg showed up a week after I turned eighteen, I stopped complaining about my sister.

The school music room door opened and there he was. Dark, mysterious, and clad in motorbike leathers, he came and sat next to me, and that was it. Every time I was with him, I wanted to run my fingers through that thick brown hair, have those deep blue eyes gaze into mine, while that amazing voice soothed away my troubles. He turned out to be more of a listener than a talker, but soon we were hanging out together in the boy’s school playground any chance we got.

At some point, a group of teenagers started showing up at the meeting. Four boys and one girl, smirking and giggling through most of dad’s talk. Fired up by their presence, he regarded this intake of “fresh blood” as a chance to spread the word.

Whereas I just felt sick.

I used the half hour meeting break to catch up with Greg outside. We’d got into the habit of going out separately so as not to rouse suspicion on dad’s part. Not that he had anything to be suspicious about at that stage!

Greg was a little late arriving at our spot. I waited anxiously knowing the gang members would be skulking about nearby.

Suddenly, Shaz, the girl member, sauntered over.

“Got a fag?” she asked.

“No, sorry.”

“Na, you don’t look the type. Daddy’s good girl and all that.”

“Not really. I did smoke but then I got caught. Sorry, I haven’t got anything on me.”

“So, your old man caught you?” she snickered. “I’d liked to have seen that!”

“Yeah.”

“He’s summat else, inhe?” She threw me a sympathetic glance. “Can’t be easy having to put up with all that preaching.”

I cleared my throat. “Something like that.” It had been mum who caught me smoking and I made her promise not to tell dad, but I wasn’t going to admit that to Shaz and ruin the tiny bit of credibility I’d gained in her eyes.

“We only come ‘ere for a laugh, you know.”

“Right.”

“We don’t mean no ‘arm.... Sommat to do, innit?”

“Yeah.”

“Anyway, it’s my last time here. Mum’s moving away so I won’t be coming again.” She studied me intently. “You’ve got a soft spot for that Greg fella, haven’t ya?”

I said nothing.

“Yeah, you do. I can tell. No skin off my nose, mate. He’s not my type.” She scrabbled around in large bag. “Here, have this,” she said handing me a charm of a spider hanging from an elastic necklace strap. “It’s supposed to be lucky. It didn’t work for me. But a word of warning; don’t go and lose it like I did. Even when I found it, it stopped working. Maybe it’ll like you better.”

“Thanks.” I’d never believed in the power of charms but was touched by the gesture.

Greg strode over nonchalantly. “Good luck,” Shaz said. “I’ve a feeling you’re gonna need that charm.”

Back home, mum was in the kitchen slaving over a roast with all the trimmings.

“Give me a hand, Beth. Carry the plates in, can you?”

I was about to object it was always me who got called on to help but then I saw how tired she looked. I once asked her why dad favoured Charmaine over me. Her face clouded and I thought she was going to deny it, but she just said, “Don’t make a fuss, Beth. He loves you too. In his own way.”

At the table, wearing her usual butter wouldn’t melt expression, dad said nothing about the telltale smudge of makeup Charmaine hadn’t quite removed.

Tucking into the meal, I thought about the words chalked up on the music room blackboard. Didn’t a girl deserve favour too? If only I could have found a way to capture Greg’s heart and make dad love me the way he did Charmaine!

I kept going over what Greg had a few weeks earlier.

“You’re such a good mate, Beth. A bit like being with another bloke – only better.”

Bittersweet words. Would he never feel a spark for me? It seemed unlikely.

After washing up, I tried the necklace charm on in my bedroom. The fake ruby eyes seemed to light up. At least, I assumed they were fake. If anyone asked, I decided to say I’d got it at a car boot sale.

Imagine my surprise when dad saw me wearing it and said, “That’s a nice necklace, Beth. It suits you.” Unable to remember the last time he complimented me about anything, I wondered if my my luck was about to change.

*****

The following Sunday I met Greg in our usual spot during the break.

“What’s that you’re wearing?” he asked, eyes lighting up.

“Just a necklace.”

“That’s so pretty.” He drew close enough for me to catch the smell of his aftershave. He briefly touched the charm making my youthful heart hammer wildly.

“Thank you. I’m glad you like it.”

“Erm, I was wondering if you’d like to go to the cinema with me next week. That is, if you want to.”

I thought of my sister’s response in my shoes. “Sounds like fun,” I said, at last.

“Great. When?”

“It will have to be when dad’s not around. You know how he is.”

We soon worked out the best time to meet was next Sunday when dad was preaching.

“I’ll tell him I’m not feeling well. My sister gets away with it all the time, so why shouldn’t I?”

“You don’t speak about her much,” Greg said curiously.

“Maybe that’s because she’s not worth speaking about.”

When Greg put his arm round me in the cinema, the warmth of his body made me dizzy. To this day, I have no idea what the film was about and when he kissed me, I felt faint. How was I to get him alone?

Like Juliet, desire changed me, made me bold. When my parents decided to take Charmaine to London as a birthday treat, I told them I was going to need extra time to revise for my exams.

After spending the entire day with Greg, I understood what all the fuss was about. Even with the charm chafing my neck, something made me keep it on. Greg was captivated by it, touching it even during our most intimate moments. I only allowed myself to take it off in the bathroom. And even then, not for long.

I didn’t want to tempt fate.

*****

The day came when Greg was finally going to meet my sister. Dad had unexpectedly invited him round for Sunday lunch.

Charmaine’s eyes widened when she met him. She flicked back her hair and spent the entire meal flirting. But it was all to no avail: he only had eyes for me.

If only I hadn’t gone and left the charm in my bedroom one Sunday while taking a shower. When I returned, I found it was gone. I completely freaked out. Greg was due any minute!

In the dining room, my sister was wearing my necklace, her fingers encircling the charm. She looked like a cat that had got the cream.

“Give me back my necklace,” I shouted.

“Surely you don’t mind if I borrow it, Beth. Just for today.”

“I never said you could.”

Dad looked up from his newspaper. “Don’t be churlish, Beth,” he said. “Let your sister wear it.”

“Mum?” I pleaded.

“You really shouldn’t take what doesn’t belong to you Charmaine. Just make sure you give it back to your sister by the end the day.” Mum continued serving out the vegetables.

*****

Minutes later, my life had turned into a horror movie. Greg reacted to my sister the way all the other boys did. After the meal, eyes glinting, she offered to give him a tour of the neighbourhood. Feeling paralysed, I was mesmerised by the charm glittering on her neck. Without a second glance, Greg followed her out of the house.

“Greg… Please… don’t go.” My throat constricted.

“We won’t be long,” Charmaine purred. “I know how much you hate wandering round the estate.”

***

Much later, in Charmaine’s room, I watched the gentle rise and fall of her sleeping form. Fearing the dark, she had left the curtains partly open. The moon’s cold glare revealed the charm lying attached to its necklace on her bedside table. Lying there, her neck vulnerable and exposed, an image flashed through my mind of us dressing up in mum’s clothes as kids, wobbling round in her shoes. Like magpies, we were drawn to her jewellery.

Charmaine was still playing at being a grownup, snatching at adult things. For a few seconds, I wanted to turn back the clock and have her snuggle up while I read stories to her in bed, but I hated her too much.

“If I can’t have him, neither can you,” I whispered slipping the necklace into my dressing gown pocket and gently closing the door.

The upstairs hallway was eerily silent. Pressing my ear to my parent’s bedroom wall, I heard nothing. Padding downstairs, I opened the front door. The air was smoky, and rain drenched. I stopped at the drain. The necklace hit the water below with a satisfying plop.

The following morning, Charmaine burst into my bedroom.

“You complete bitch! What have you done with the necklace?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. After all, you took it off me, remember?” I said sweetly.

Not long after ‘losing’ the charm, my sister split up with Greg noisily and badly.

Every night for weeks, I heard Charmaine crying on the other side of the bedroom wall. As well as being dumped, dad had clamped down and banned her from mixing with boys from the estate. He also insisted she attended all the Sunday meetings from now on, no excuses accepted.

It was small comfort knowing Greg wouldn’t be there. Probably not surprising seeing I told him I never wanted to see his face again.

Greg

While a waste disposal worker’s life can hardly be described as glamorous, it has its compensations. For the past twenty years, Greg Winsmore had helped keep some of London’s finest sewers running smoothly. Theres a satisfaction in providing a crucial service to the public, whether they realised it or not.

Today, he worked alone. In this strange subterranean world with the river Thames flowing above the bricked tunnel, he found himself reflecting on the past with a certain painful nostalgia.

Probably one of the most stomach-churning parts of Greg’s work was dealing with the fatbergs that blocked the system - largely a result of people not disposing of waste correctly. He worked with his usual stoicism, only stopping when his eye caught something sparkling in the ankle-deep water. He picked up a charm hanging from a necklace and his world stopped.

After finishing his shift, he cleaned the item until the tiny rubies in the spider’s eyes gleamed back at him. Discarding the tarnished necklace, he attached the charm to his wrist chain. Things had never been right after Beth refused to see him when he foolishly allowed himself to get entangled with her sister. He regretted his actions, even now. After showering, shaving, and finding something smart to wear, Greg sprayed on aftershave with the hint of patchouli Beth had always liked, and headed out towards her last known address.

The spider’s eyes glinted, fed by the pulse in the wrist. Moving inexorably towards Beth.

At last.