Cape Town 1972 ... can she lose 1 kilo in 10 days?

There were 10 of us with 1 or 2 fluctuating individuals moving in and out of the commune.

It was 1972 in Cape Town. We lived in the old Russian embassy up on Molteno Road next to de Waal park. The Italian chandelier in the ballroom was the size of a double bed and it could be lowered almost to the floor – for cleaning purposes no doubt.

But Sonny used it for a performance sculpture and we all visited proclaiming it; “interesting, unique and other vapid compliments!” What the hell, it was a bag of sand hanging below a chandelier as she recalled.

Tall, blonde hair down past her bum, green eyes, overweight, electric laugh, and very much a loner.

Daina was studying Drama at UCT and often wondered how she had ended up living there. She lived in 2 small rooms side by side at the back of the house upstairs. One with a bed and the other for packing. They were sparse, only the white cheesecloth full-length curtains wafting over her bed spoke of simple glory and the view. The top of Table mountain peeping above the roofs.

They were an itinerant student bunch all attending UCT in one or other of the Arts. Jack was a British overlander, living with Sophia. Sophia had made-up a fantasy past with schooling somewhere in Africa in a castle! She never came across as a liar as she could repeat the story word for word without a slip! But then again no-one ever questioned her. It was just so far-fetched enough to be real or unreal enough not to bother.

Janice and Burt were mad visionaries living in the secret/hidden room. You had to crawl through the shifting panel in the fireplace to get into the room because it had no door, only one window. They were from Zimbabwe and Durban respectively. He ate them out of house and home in the peanut butter department and eventually got voted out! Working democracy or just plain disgruntled people who resented his lack of understanding of the words; “sharing is at its core, a lifestyle.”

Sonny and “Cher” lived in the back, student artists with agoraphobia and exuberant sexuality.

Two guys from up the West Coast popped in and out.

And then there was Oliver … despite the snubby nose and freckles, or including those attributes, drop-dead gorgeous! Beautiful, broad, muscled chest and physique, golden dead-straight long locks to his shoulders, a really cute smile, and a really great intellect – all in all a charmer. But no surprise, big emotional issues especially around sex.

O and don’t forget his ex-girlfriend; Scottie. She’d show up at the most inopportune times.

Back to the 4^th January 1972

Day 1

Oliver asked Daina out for supper, “Hey Daina, don’t forget to come for supper tonight, say roundabout 6:30.”

“Sure, do you want me to bring anything?”

“Nope, just yourself.”

She was excited but simultaneously dubious. After all, she wasn’t exactly barbie material. Maybe he was just being friendly. Then again her self-esteem wasn’t that low that she didn’t think there might be a slim chance that he was actually attracted to her.

The house seemed quite imposing, standing out against the backdrop of Table mountain and even a little bit eery. Oliver was the only student who had moved in and the electricity hadn’t yet been turned on. He was pleased to see her and flashed that semi-shy cute smile. It was meltworthy!

They climbed through the fireplace into the hidden room. It was cozy and the rays of the sun still caught the window. Oliver immediately lit up a joint and they lay back against the cushions, quite relaxed in each other’s company. He spoke about the magazine, he’d managed to land a short story with and how pleased they were with his writing. He was an English major at UCT, so writing for a magazine was “money-for-jam!” They were sending him away for a couple of days on an assignment. He was thrilled. She was thrilled for him too. Daina told him about the act from “The Maids” that she and Bee were working on. Oliver was suitably impressed and they discussed Genet and the layers of subterfuge in the play.

For an all too brief moment, everything seemed quite blissful.

“Take off your clothes, put this on, and then come through to my room” and he calmly tossed a cotton striped sarong at her and left.

“O noo,” she thought, “not sure I can do this?”

Daina wasn’t a virgin but the only “sex” she’d had, had been when she was date-raped as a teenager.

She’d skirted around the issue of sex even with her first boyfriend, she just never let it go that far.

How was she going to back peddle with Oliver and explain that? He clearly thought she was sexually experienced.

Everything happened so fast after that. As she walked into Oliver’s room, he said, “o wow you’ve put on weight!” Whoomph, the bubble burst, she didn’t have to explain anything, they clearly weren’t going to have sex!

What a miserable night. They lay side by side on the famous water bed, not touching, she cried silently and tried to sleep. Oliver was up early grabbing a few clothes, throwing them into a bag, “I’m off, see you in 9 days.”

Day 2

She knew she’d been bingeing. Down at the only 24-hour cafe in the harbor at 1 in the morning, buying chocolate. “Hey, baby, want to come along? I’ll buy you a drink.”

She looked at the staggering sailor and said quietly under her breath,” Go fuck yourself.”

“ What did you say, bitch?”

“O shit, o shit, o shit!” She dived into her beetle praying it wouldn’t stall and drove off.

What was she thinking? The harbor was dangerous at that time of night and all for a couple of slabs of chocolate.

The “date” she’d been on as a naive teen with the older guy, played through her head. The movie, the hotel room, the drink – the premeditated sweetness, the kiss that turned into;

“No, no I don’t want to! I’ve never done this before! Please stop!”

“Don’t think you can tease me,” forcing her legs apart, “shut the fuck up!”

The blood on the sheets … “What the fuck is this, are you having your period?”

“No, I’m a virgin.”

“You mean was.” And the low cynical laugh echoed in her brain.

Okay, that’s it, she thought, I’m taking control. I don’t have to be a fat stupid naive bitch. I’m going to lose weight.

Day 3

The next morning, the council came to connect the electricity, and then, she got in her car and drove to Bee. Please let her be in, she thought. She’ll know what to do. Daina rang the flat’s doorbell. Bee opened the door and smiled a welcome. She was a pretty girl with startlingly blue eyes and a clear British accent.

“Hey Daina, come inside. Greg’s here, we’re having tea, want some?”

“O cool, yes please.” Damn, she thought now I can’t tell Bee about Oliver, bingeing and wanting to lose weight. Greg was a sweetie, always willing to help. She ended up telling them both everything, well not quite everything. Nobody knew about the date rape. She’d kept that hidden for many years.

“D, just go off one thing, like sugar. No sugar in anything. It’ll take a while, but you’ll see, you’ll lose weight.”

Greg was all about, “You don’t need to lose weight, you’re lovely just the way you are.”

Hmm pity he’s taken. All the good guys are taken.

She didn’t have a while. She wanted Oliver to see a difference in how many days now? She wanted to see a difference in how many days … O noo, he’d be back in 6 days. Could she even lose 1 kilo in 6 days?

Okay, she’d simply not eat at all. she’d starve for 6 days. Come suppertime, Janice was cooking. She and Burt had just moved in. Talk about divine smells coming from the kitchen. Janice was a superb vegetarian cook. Daina had never tasted vegetables like that. Her family was meat, one starch, and two veg types. Okay, maybe the plan was then, no sugar. She would try it.

Day 4

Back at Uni the next day, Drama school – the minute she stepped on the stage, she knew she didn’t want to be an actress. After all, creating the story from behind the camera was far more appealing. But Mom wouldn’t let her go away to film school so drama school was the next best thing.

She didn’t want to be/act like another person when she was struggling to find her person ….

She kept apart from the other students. She didn’t relate to their excitement auditioning for roles in upcoming plays. She disliked theatre but played the game to a certain extent.

After drama school, walking up to the restaurant in the Gardens to waitress for the evening, she knew it was going to be hard. Every time she carried out the milkshakes and apple pie and ice cream, all she could think about was their free supper when they could choose between dessert or a burger. In the past she often chose desert, being hooked on the sugar. The test was coming.

“Burger please Ralph, to go.” She grabbed it and ran. It wasn’t far but she hated walking past de Waal Park at night, so running was fine. Up the stairs and into her small haven of a room. She flung herself down on the bed, turned on the big old reel to reel tape, and lay back - Tubular Bells, Mike Oldfield. He understood living in your head alone.

Day 5

Drama school party tonight, shitloads of alcohol and weed, and she really didn’t feel like going but had already said no to so many that they were starting to accuse her of being standoffish. First of all, she hated having to think about what to wear.

She traipsed down Long Street to the secondhand clothing shop. Maybe there’d be another satin granny petticoat. She tried on a dress, it fitted, but she felt the size of a house. Maybe just the little bolero jacket, okay cool that would work. The problem of what to wear solved.

Now off to work the lunch shift, home to bath, and back down Kloof Road to the party. And there it was the second thing she hated about going to parties, standing around, making inane conversation with people who really didn’t care either. All everyone was doing was looking to see who they could lay for the night.

And then the 2 lesbians sidled up, “Come back to our place for supper, we can chat.”

“Thanks, girls, but no thanks.”

“ You never know we might be what you’re looking for.”

“I’m not looking for anything right now.”

Slouched on the couch, looking insanely relaxed and sexy, Oliver’s friend; Eric.

“Hey Daina, how’re you, where’s Ollie?”

“He’s away on an assignment for that rag mag.” She liked him even though, he made her nervous for some reason. He’d been living with a gorgeous girl for years, but still flirted with her. And she could never work out why. Still, he was a welcome relief from the parade of wanna-be’s.

Despite herself, she was feeling stronger. Maybe kicking the sugar habit was working. She certainly hadn’t lost any weight. The mirror in the changing room at the secondhand shop had horrified her as usual.

Day 6

No scale, so no known weight loss yet. She had to take the next big leap and buy a scale. She went back down to the secondhand shop. It sold everything, not just clothes. And there nestling under a pile of shoes was an old scale. She lugged it back to the house and put it down in the packing room, forgetting about it momentarily. They took it in turns cooking for the commune and tonight was Jack’s turn. He was an experimental cook. Sometimes it was totally inedible but every now and then he’d make a winner. She was hungry and rather wanted to eat food than junk or sugar. So she charged down the back stairs, (they were narrow and windy, meant for the servants in the days of the embassy) and almost fell over Scottie; Oliver’s ex. “ Good grief, what on earth are you doing sitting here.” She turned around and you could see that she’d been crying. Daina instantly felt sorry for being so abrupt.

“Sorry, hope you’re okay.”

‘I’m fine, I’ll be fine. Have you seen Ollie?”

“Uh, no, why?”

O, I really need to talk to him. Jack said he’s away.”

“O, yeah.” She didn’t want to say more than was necessary.

“I’ll come back later.” And she got up and walked out the front door.

Things were going to be more complicated, than simply losing weight, finishing Drama School, and getting back with Oliver.

Day 7

Tuesday night was movie night on campus. We all piled into Sonny’s combi. We were going to watch experimental movies on main campus in Rondebosch.

If she’d been sober, they (the movies) would have no doubt appeared boring and self-indulgent. But weed, covered a multitude of sins, especially pretentious very very slow-moving ones.

After all, sometimes Jarmusch and Johnny Depp just weren’t enough or Lelouch or Truffaud! Although she was a bit in love with all of them.

She fell asleep during the movie and in the combi going home. The disappointments of life can be really boring and depressing, best slept away. If you’re struggling to lose weight, how will you ever compete with their likes directing a “silly” movie about Cape Town. (her secret dream) It would have to be about the profundity of the colonial after-life, n’est pas. And good grief they were all living in the “Be Here Now” philosophy.

Day 8

Sticking to the plan – finding new-found self-discipline. Maybe Just Maybe she’d lost a little weight. Walking down to Drama School past de Waal Park, the American was there sitting in his “Om” position meditating.

Backtracking a bit … She came home 2 nights back from waitressing in the Gardens and there lying on the floor of her ”dressing-packing room” was a guy bleeding from the mouth and moaning in pain. When she asked him who he was, he said in an American accent; “I’m an overlander, I just had my wisdom teeth pulled out and Jack put me here.”

“Of course, he did. How long are you going to be here?”

“ A few days till I’m better.”

“Okay, can I get you anything … water?”

“O, yes please.” She brought him the water and helped him drink a sip.

But, she was working so they hardly conversed, and after the meditating day he was gone.

The fleeting thought crossed her mind, maybe he was an interesting person but she hadn’t taken the trouble/time to get to know him, and then he was gone.

Last 2 days

Day 9

Definitely getting closer to losing that 1 kilo. She was plump/fat not obese.

There was still a shape in there somewhere, a waist and hips. She definitely didnt want to wear large jeans o nooo. But skirts with waists were getting closer, especially the pinky check wrap-around.

Would she and Oliver get together again? Would he see any difference/change?

The days without cell phones … popping round to see Bee again, gently flirting with Greg(the boy next door). But he’s taken, soo one shouldn’t work too hard at that one. But nice! The nice ones that got away.

Any way all she could see in the mirror still was “fat!”

Bee was adamant, “Its not that you’re skinny suddenly or anything, but you look better, healthier, oh man, I know that isn’t what you want to hear, but you definitely look slimmer.”

She was happy. It was something. It was something encouraging.

Day 10

She finally got on the scale. Had the needle budged … yes a bit, a kilo, close. I mean you could cheat the scale depending on how you stood, but after 3 tries, the needle had definitely moved down 1.5 whole kilos.

Victory!!!

In that moment she was free, free from desperately needing his attention, approval, or love.

But it was only a moment.

“Hi Daina.” She jumped off the scale in fright.

“When did you get back?”

“You’re looking good! Lost some weight?”… he trailed off. Now, I just got in now. It was lousy, a really lousy assignment. I saw Scottie on my way in, she and her husband are having problems, but looks like they’ll sort it out.”

“I’m sorry.” She didn’t know what else to say. “ Scottie’s married … oh I didn’t know.”

He smiled slightly.

“Why are you smiling?”

“I thought maybe you were a bit jealous there?”

“I … I wasn’t sure why she came here.”

“Are we having supper tonight? I’ve been thinking, there are a few things we need to talk about.

I missed you.”

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