Submitted to: Contest #319

Monsters of the Green Mountain

Written in response to: "Write a story about a misunderstood monster."

Drama Fantasy Horror

Monsters of the Green Mountain

There was once a country named Coldwind, and a group of beings known as the Icehooks lived in the region surrounding a green mountain. The Icehooks had an appearance similar to Bigfoot combined with a werewolf. Stories from the local human village describe than as savage monsters who hunt and kill for sport. It was recommended that people from the village never travel to mountain alone for the fear that the Icehooks would abduct and eat them if they did.

One day, a group of villagers were walking near the mountain. One of them was named Mark and was the leader of the group. “Alright, we are here, begin setting up the camp,” said Mark. “We need to finish setting up camp in ten minutes. I don’t need to remind you that these woods aren’t friendly to us.”

As the group began to set up the camp, another villager named Roger interrupted Mark. “What are we doing here Mark,” asked Roger, “you said that it would be a short trip, but we have been here for hours.” “We agreed to look for the missing farmers, but we never agreed to do anymore more than that.”

“It won’t take long,” replied Mark, “the farmers should be around here.” “We already searched miles of territory, and they shouldn’t be far off now.” As Mark spoke, it became clear that he intended to stay in the area despite the danger it posed to his group.

As the group began to set up their camp, they heard a strange and angry noise from the forest, similar to a growl from a wolf and bear combined. “I thought that you said we were safe here,” said Roger, “you told us we were far away from the mountain.” Mark had misled his group about how far they actually were from the mountain.”

“Don’t worry about it,” replied Mark, “even if it actually was something, they won’t attack us.” “We have weapons and numbers.” Mark knew that venturing into the area of the Green Mountain was dangerous but hoped that the group’s numbers and weapons would be enough to dissuade any attacks from the Icehooks.

Suddenly, the noises began louder and louder, and the group became restless. “You said that this wouldn’t be dangerous,” said another villager named Zachary, “this doesn’t appear to be the case.” The other villagers agreed with Zachary, and began to pack up the camp and head back to the village.

“Don’t do that,” responded Mark, “we will find the missing farmers, and we are too far from the mountain.” “They are just trying to scare us. Don’t let them.” Mark appeared to be more desperate to keep the group together, and hoped that they would be convinced to stay for another day.

Suddenly, a monster from the dark grabbed Mark and pulled him into the forest. The others quickly saw this, and quickly abandoned the camp and ran back to the village. All that was left of Mark within a few minutes was a hanging body on a nearby tree.

As the monsters looked at the fleeing group from the shadows, an Icehook named Fireroar was the one who grabbed and executed Mark. Before he died, Fireroar was able to extract crucial information from the villager.

“The raider old me where he found the minerals,” said Fireroar, “it is far away enough from the mountain to where it would be difficult for us to drive away the raiders if they try to mine there.”

“Does anyone else know,” asked the leader who was named Lightingmine, “if the information got out, there could be a mine in our territory within a few weeks.” “We can not let them mine here, because if they did, our home will began to die.”

“The raider died before he could tell me more,” said Fireroar, “but I don’t think so.” “I have been watching him and his adventures into the forest for some time.” “He appears to be selfish enough to keep that information to himself, hoping he can take all the money.”

“Will the village retaliate,” asked another Icehook named Woodcloud, “we killed one of them.” “I have followed these raiders for years when they come to the forest, and they have been wanting to attack us for years now.”

“The only reason why they haven’t was that they didn’t think there would be enough minerals in the forest to justify an attack,” replied Fireroar, “I fear if the leader told anyone else what he knew, there will be an organized attack against the forest within a month.’

“We have time to prepare,” responded Thundermine, “I doubt he told anyone, but we should still prepare for an attack regardless.” “I know a place near the mountain where we can find the materials needed to make dozens of traps a day.”

After about two months of waiting, the Icehooks had laid hundreds of traps in the forest and were confident that Mark didn’t tell anyone else what he knew. “It’s nice that we can relax,” said Fireroar happily, “we don’t get these moments very much.”

Unfortunately for the Icehooks, a group of villagers appeared, and they not only brought weapons but also magic. “This isn’t good,” said Fireroar, our traps won’t do anything against magic.”

The Icehooks fought valiantly against the invaders, and wave after wave of them tried to attack and incapacitate the ones using magic, but it wasn’t enough, and they began to fall by the dozens.

“We can collapse trees to slow them down,” responded Fireroar, “after we need to retreat to the mountain, they won’t chase us there.” The remaining Icehooks used explosives to collapse the trees, and as planned, the attack slowed enough to where they could retreat to the mountain.

It took the Icehooks a few days to reach the mountain, where they knew they would be safe as the terrain made attacks and mining difficult. “We will be here possibly for the rest of our lives,” replied Thundermine, “I doubt I would live to return to the surrounding forest.”

“Don’t think that way,” responded Fireroar, “I will lead our people back to our home, even if it means my life.” “I will not rest until we defeat the raiders and reclaim our home, on that, I promise you.”

“I know my friend,” replied Thudnermine, “I believe that you will lead our people back to our home.”

Posted Sep 10, 2025
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4 likes 2 comments

K Ray
17:58 Sep 21, 2025

I think you have a real diamond in the rough here. I like the idea, the setting, and the twist. This should be your opening line: "The Icehooks had an appearance similar to Bigfoot combined with a werewolf." Or you could describe that appearance, something like, "The Icehooks stood at least eight feet tall, covered in fur like a werewolf, with hands like a sledgehammer."

The dialogue can be a little clunky and repetitive, for example, "I have followed these raiders for years when they come to the forest, and they have been wanting to attack us for years now." Try to edit this down to a smoother sentence that only mentions "years" once.

You don't need separate quotes for the same character continuing to speak for each sentence. Like in this should look like this: “The raider died before he could tell me more,” said Fireroar, “but I don’t think so. I have been watching him and his adventures into the forest for some time. He appears to be selfish enough to keep that information to himself, hoping he can take all the money.”

I like the idea of the Icehooks being misunderstood, but I need more substance from the characters to, as the reader, care enough about one group vs the other. I don't have enough information to root for the Icehooks over the villagers. I also suggest to add in some sensory details about the way things smell, feel, and the noises themselves.

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Matthew Deng
17:29 Sep 22, 2025

Thanks for the insight. I'll take it into account for my next project.

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