Drama Suspense Thriller

“Mommy, Mommy” cried the little girl.  

“What Natalia?” said her mother. 

 “ I want to go on the carousel,” she said. 

“No, not today,” she responded. As the 10 year old screamed her mother picked her up and put her on the carousel, a few seconds later the carousel started up and as the carousel sped faster and faster the little girl screamed with joy only the mother seemed horrified. 

“Natalia!” cried her mother. The carousel was so fast it almost seemed the horses would break off the carousel and start galloping down the avenue. But the mother just calmed herself down and thought to herself I will just wait till the carousel stops. But as the carousel kept going the mother got more and more worried it seemed that the carousel would never stop, but finally the little girl flew off and landed in her mother’s arms and everything seemed fine except that the carousel was still going. After they got in the car the mother called the manager of the amusement park. 

“Yes hello my name is Helen and I would like to complain about the carousel in your amusement park. It was going so fast and my daughter flew off it and it wouldn’t stop.” After some silence the other person on the line finally spoke and told her that there was no carousel located in the amusement park. After that she became livid and she had no idea what was going on. 

“Mommy, where are we going?” asked her daughter. 

“We are going home Natalia, today was a long day”. She replied. But on arriving home they were startled because in their backyard was the same carousel. As Natalia ran to the carousel her mother screamed for her “NATALIA” ,  

“What mommy, what’s wrong?” she asked while stopping.  

“I don’t want you getting on that carousel,” She said. 

“But why?” Natalia asked. 

“Because it’s dangerous. Remember what happened the first time when you flew off it and almost died” she said with a tone in her voice. “Mommy you're exaggerating, I would not have died,'' the child argued. But as her mom kept saying no she kept running towards the carousel and got on and then the carousel started going. At first slowly but then really really fast. It wouldn’t stop and then before you knew it Natalia and the carousel were gone, nowhere to be found. As the mother screamed out her child's name there was no answer. Finally she gave up and called the police. 

“Ma’am I’m sorry but we couldn’t find your child. She isn’t anywhere in this area. Are you sure you saw her riding on a carousel and then she just disappeared?” he asked in disbelief.  

“Of course I saw my daughter on the carousel. Do you think I am blind? '' She said angrily. 

“O-of Course not ma’am I just wanted you to be sure” the police said with fright. Weeks later When they still couldn’t find Natalia they finally gave up. As Helen was walking in an alley she saw a carousel with Natalia on it. 

“NATALIA oh my gosh there you are where were you I was worried sick why did you leave me!” She said With anger, sadness, and lots of other emotions. 

“What do you mean Mommy? I've been here the whole time, '' the little girl said. 

“What no you haven’t you were gone for days and days and I have been looking for you I even called the police where have you been.” she screamed.  

“I already told you I’ve been right here the whole time .” she argued. But before her mom could say anything else the carousel started up again and Was going really fast, so her mom yanked her off the carousel and brought her home.

“Alright you’re going to tell me everything that has happened since last saturday okay”. She said, 

“Okay mommy,” Natalia said. 


“So after The carousel disappeared a siren appeared to me and said “Natalia it is me Tsunami the Siren. I am here because I came to warn you Because your mom isn’t who she seems to be, she is the one causing this''.   

“Well it looks like Tsunami told you my plan all along. That stupid siren ruins everything, so I guess now the only thing to do is to get you back on that carousel because I can’t have you telling people I’m the reason you went missing.” her mother said with a smirk. 

“W-w-what Tsunami was telling the truth. B-b-but I thought you wanted to find me but you didn’t?” she said confused and scared. 

“Exactly but now my plan is ruined so I guess you have to go” and with that she pushed Natalia back onto the carousel and then it disappeared never to be seen again.

“AHHHHHHHH” Natalia screamed as she fell into darkness. Where am I? She thought to herself. As she walked around she was feeling around for anything, perhaps a lightswitch if she was lucky. Soon enough she felt a lightswitch and flicked it on. The room lit up with light and standing in front of her was another girl who looked to be about her age, maybe older.

“Hi my name is Layla, who are you?” Layla asked. 

“I’m Natalia, how old are you?” Natalia asked.

“I’m eleven”. She answered. 

“Oh I’m only ten,” Natalia said with a sigh. 

“How did you get here?” Asked Layla.

“My mom pushed me onto a carousel and then I fell into darkness and now I'm here,” Natalia explained.

“Oh that's weird I got here because I saw a door in the middle of the woods and I opened it and went inside and then I was here” Layla told Natalia.

“Well let’s go,” Layla continued. As they started walking around there were trees and bushes starting to appear everywhere and then a whole town appeared, to their surprise someone came running towards them. “Quickly we don’t have much time” The stranger said. 

“Time for what” Layla murmured. 

“The Boss,” The stranger replied.

“Who is the boss?” asked Natalia.

“Her” the stranger said and pointed to what looked like a girl maybe 20 years old. As they stared at each other someone yelled,

“Why are you all just standing there? I am the boss and you should be listening to me, so get back to work you peasants” she yelled in an awful tone.

“Why should we listen to you, you're not the boss of us,” said layla.

“Because I am in control of everything that happens here and anyone who disobeys is executed” said the boss. 

“But that's not fair!” Yelled Layla.

“Life isn’t fair but we still have to live through it so suck it up and listen to me or you die” she screamed.

“Layla, maybe we should listen to her,” whispered Natalia.

“ Really Natalia you too there is no way I am going to listen to her I’d rather be enslaved for thousands of years than listen to her” layla said.

But then the boss just screeched for the guards to get them, which they did and took them to the dungeon as Natalia was whimpering. Layla started talking. “Natalia, quit your whining” layla told her.

But as she kept whining there was a bright light and there appeared Tsunami the Siren.

“Why are you crying Natalia?” asked Tsunami.

“T-t-tsunami is that you?” Natalia asked.

“Of course it’s me who else would it be” Tsunami said with a giggle”

“Who is that?” Layla said.

"That's tsunami the siren that told me why I disappeared" said Natalia

"Oh, Well what are you doing here?" asked Layla.

"I am here to set you free. Because you two do not deserve to be imprisoned for not listening to some freak who thinks she is the boss, you should be able to do what you want.


need some new ideas feel free to comment some new ideas you have

September 12, 2022 16:44

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Amanda Lieser
01:49 Sep 17, 2022

Hi Mads! I thought this story had wonderful flowing language that created vivid scenes. I was a bit confused with the water dragon and addition of Layla. But I’ll be intrigued to see what happens next. Good job!


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Delbert Griffith
12:43 Oct 13, 2022

This is a good story, Maddie. There are some grammar issues, but I believe that, with time, you will correct most of those. One thing you might want to consider is the end goal of Natalia (and Layla). Do you want Natalia to eventually avenge her own "death" or do you want her to continue to have adventures? I think that if you know where you want her to go, you can get her there. Keep writing!


Maddie <3
12:47 Oct 13, 2022

thank you so much and i will consider what i want to happen!!!


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Maddie <3
12:30 Oct 13, 2022

This is a to be continued story so feel free to comment on what you want me to add next I'm having some writing block!!!


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Maddie <3
12:22 Sep 19, 2022

thank you so much!!!


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Maddie <3
20:06 Sep 14, 2022

please check out my story and see if you like it


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