The future has no reason....

The world kept turning, the sun rose anyway. A new dawn. Who were the survivors? No humans left in the immutable cycles of Mother Earth. The sparse remaining fragments of the sophisticated technological ages of the humanoids had all been drowned and demolished.

Sadly, only one form of life made it through. Yes, a new dawn of a new day. As the now cooling red orange sun appeared, there were only lowly fungi. Of all the many varied forms of life's web, only fungi.

Naturally, the sun arose anyway to lighten fungi, lichens, moulds, ragworts, algae clusters, mushroom and toadstools. In the now sepia tinted oceans, only dead seawood and kelp. The world was now silent.

The meagre supply of air was colder and much, much older. The fungi grew and multiplied a little, eking an existence in the cooling world, lit by an ageing sun, weighed down by its own mortality.

Once upon a fungus lifetime, there was born a mutant mushroom. Some eidetic influence in the genetic pool of fungi gave birth to a thinking mushroom, a prophet, an oracle.

The sage grew and grew. She finally emerged to the stunned fungi, there appeared a giant thinking mushroom, the self-declared Lady Bellepheron Isiaha-Elija. Lady Bellepheron had nominated her hyphenated surname, in the best middle-class tradition. If, indeed, fungi had ever had a middle-class.

Coincidentally, Lady Bellepheron Isiaha-Elija was known as Lady Bell to her new more able-brained fungi friends. Lady Bell was born to lead her newfound flock. Lady Bell could see visions of a brighter future ahead. Lady Bell proclaimed herself the religous leader of all life on Planet Earth. She could cast prophecies for the ultimate fate of all fungi on the vast globe. Lady Bell's basic message was that, upon their demise, they were all returning to the great Fungus in the sky!

In contrast to the other mindless mushrooms and fungus, all tinted shades of orange, yellow and brown, Lady Bell was colored in purple hues. Her lid was lilac, her gills and stalk were dark purple, and she was adorned with a purple veil, spangled with orange mushroom spores. Lady Bell's intuition told her that the time was right to proclaim her new faith for life on lonely Earth. Then she collected some materials, a pile of dead seaweed and ancient giant clam shell, with a gong fashioned from an obsidian rock, located on the deserted shoreline.

The prophet was satisfied, she had bells and smells for her new devout. Lady Bell stood on the cliff top. Fungi gathered, amazed. Lady Bell smote her clam shell, resonating.

"Thus spake Lady Bellepheron Isiaha-Elija, your sentient mushroom prophet. Heed my good news!"

The fungi were awakening from their timeless slumber of mindless meditation. Lady Bell pronounced her faith innovative, a new religion to her zealots one and all. "Our faith is called, "Happy Clappies!"

Lady Bell smote her simple drums, slightly deafening her congregation, increasing steadily, as fungi swarmed in the gloom.

"Heed my good news,

Blessed are the fungi, lichen and slime.

We have inherited the Earth, after all this time!

Fear not, little flock, we all ascend to the Great Fungus in the sky,

Might as well go forth and multiply,

So we all survive,

Enjoy being alive!"

Soon, the word of Lady Bell was spreading. Roused to sentience, rows and rows of line-dancing, boot-scooting mushrooms and toadstools went prancing to the same innovative tunes.

Lady Bell summoned her flock to daily morning revival meetings. As the sun arose each day, the "Happy Clappies" were convened in session. Lady Bell preached to her assorted followers, so long kept in the dark and fed BS. Lady Bell raised her lid, sounded her drum, and her adherents waved their dead seaweed, her voice loud.

"Now sing along, magic mushrooms, and toadstools! Sing and dance, let us pray!"

Lady Bell smote her drums, and sang, in her loud, clear voice. Her tune was the old relic of a once human song, slightly paraphrased, "The Spirit in the Sky'. She sang her tune, ending 'You got to have a friend in fungus!"

Then she concluded, "Fear not, little flock Now go forth and breed more fungus. This planet is ours! Come early, tomorrow, Happy Clappies! This is our new religion. "

Happily, the fungi cheered as one, and pranced off to their being . So began their novel existence. All now believed in their faith, they were all going up to the Fungus in the sky. Deafened by the drum, the mushrooms and toadstools began spontaneous hugs and dancing.

Unfortunately, sentience amid the fungi has also awoken revolutionary thoughts. One rebel fungus assembled like-minded insurgents to form a rabble of counter-sentients. They all wished to reform the fungi to their former state of mindless meditation, to destroy Lady Bell with her high ideals, religous philosophies, and middle class name. This would restore their lonely planet to ooze and slime, dwelling in its primeval origins.

The anti-sentients insurgents fashioned machetes for mushrooms from more of the obsidian rocks to found on the rocky shores of the sepia brown oceans, awash with dead kelp and seawood. These rebels wanted no more 'bells and smells', no more group hugs and line-dancing.

Hostilities broke out, patches of resistance to the new sentience of the faith innovative, "Happy Clappies'. Machete wielding mushrooms slashed sentient fungi's stalks as they stood, celebrating in the dawn of each day, as the sun rose anyway.

Finally, the few remaining adherents huddled around Lady Bell. All seemed excremental to their encampment. The oncoming mindless mushrooms loomed in the gloom, waving their machetes so ferociously. Skirmishes between the insurgents and "Happy Clappies' were evident. Mushroom stalks were being slashed at a steady rate.

"Lady Bell, what are we going to do?' implored her zealots, losing their religion. The mob were hell bent on slaying the brotherhood, to end understanding. The great Prophet pondered, then spoke to her faithful fungi. This was her finest hour. Could she rescue her loyal mushrooms and toadstools from doom?

Lady Bell announced, "We shall deafen them into our own true faith Gather ye giant clam shells where they lay, while we may!"

The faithful Happy Clappies hastened to oblige. Led by Lady Bell, they sounded their drums. Meanwhile, the machete-wielding mushrooms kept on slashing noble Happy Clappies. Then:BOOM!

The rebels clutched their eardrums, and collapsed into a mangled heap, deafness. Resistance to Lady Bell was futile. But she forgave them. The thinking prophet spake again.

"Resistance to Lady Bells is useless. Lay down your weapons. We give you weapons of love. Now sound our drums!"

The Happy Clappies banged their drums, and waved their dead seaweed. Bells and smells filled the air.

"Repent all ye rebels. I declare this revolution over, finito!

Be blessed and have a great day, fungi!"

The sun rose and the world turned anyway.

"Don't tell me what to do..." muttered one little fungus.

The future of Lady Bell and her zealots might happen for no reason.......