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Crime Suspense

The man in the grey fedora was there again, a blackened Mackintosh slung over his shoulders. His burnished bronze eyes shone in the blistering darkness as the disrupting rays of disco lights shone on the patches for his skin. The man, slowly, pulled his eyes away from the prying eyes. He had to complete his mission after all.  

The burner phone’s ringtone drowned under the music of the roaring disco. The man pulled it out and pressed it against his ear.  

The voice over the burner phone monotonous and dreary, a formal slur on every word it spoke.  

“Did you plant it?”  

The man holding the phone smiled.  

“’ course I did, anything for you sir”  

A low, apathetic laugh was heard over the phone.  

“Good. Now get out of there”  

The man, holding the phone, frowned.  

“What about my money? You said you’ll send the quid as soon as I finished with the job.”  

The voice had suddenly become sharp and piercing.  

“Oh, you’ll get the money alright.”  

The man’s eyes traveled to where the man in the mackintosh stood. He was holding a remote with an 'on' button. The voice on the phone resumed his speaking.  

“don’t think I didn’t see you spill the beans to your so-called friends. You disobeyed orders- and you can’t be trusted anymore. Very soon you’ll forget about all of this. You'll forget all about this night...”  

The man in the Mackintosh thrust his thumb on the trigger. An inhumane smile cracked upon his face.  

A faint click was heard in the man’s ears as he fell to the ground. He was suddenly foaming at the mouth, red bubbling saliva leaked onto the floor...   

Screams were heard in the disco room.  

The man in the Mackintosh fled from the tumult of screams as another explosion was heard.  

The man pulled out his phone. The voice on it crackled with pleasure.  

“Is it finished?”  

The man with the bronze eyes nodded.  

“Yes, it’s finished.”  


Chelsea pushed her plate aside and reached for the remote. Rachel, her foster guardian, snatched it and put the news on. 

Chelsea gave out an exaggerated groan.  

Why do grown-ups like these things? She thought as she got up and collapsed against the sofa.  

“How was school today?” Rachel asked, brushing the sofa with her hand before she sat on it.  

Chelsea met her gaze for a moment, just to check if she was joking, and grunted.  

Rachel sighed, starting to get up and pack the dishes.  

“Well, if you don’t like it, you could always move to Harley field secondary school.”   

Chelsea raised an eyebrow and turned her attention to the tv. A woman from the BBC appeared on the screen. Her face looked troubled and distressed as her scarf flowed in the atrocious wind.  

“a severe explosion has blown up central high’s well-known rent-a-room Centre. What seemed to be a night of enjoyment has been drastically destroyed with a merciless explosion. Around 300 bodies were found at the sight. Police investigators are looking into the case at what might have caused the explosion, and even better, who was behind it? back to you Ben.”  

The screen changed to a man wearing an explicit yellow tie in his mid-forties, his hair slid back with the cheapest gel he could find. The humdrum of his voice squeaked in Chelsea’s ears. 

“Thank you, Barbara. Now it’s onto our break-”  

Rachel turned the television off, frozen to the carpet. Her face was unusually pale as sweat was smeared on her face like rain; her lips shivered feverishly. 

Chelsea glanced at her in annoyance. For once the news was getting more interesting and Rachel had to walk away and turn it off!  

“What was that for?” Chelsea whined, leaning back on the sofa.  

Rachel gave her a cold stare. It was staring that made Chelsea jump.  

“Go. To. Bed" she said, narrowing her eyes even further.  

Chelsea frowned, she hated it whenever foster careers told her what to do. 

She sat there, staring at the blank screen of the television. 

“Why should I?” 

Rachel’s eyes dodged around the room for an answer. 

“Because-because...I said so.” 

Chelsea glared at her in disbelief- how dare she steal her beautiful catchphrase of winning each argument! 

“And I said, I ain’t going to bed. So there” 

Rachel narrowed her eyes even further. She shrugged. 

“Fine. I'll call sally tomorrow to bring you back to the foster care home.” her voice was steely and sharp. "no questions. I said it, so, do it"

Chelsea winced she knew she couldn’t win in this one even Rachel knew it. Adults had the power over everything; it wasn’t fair. Chelsea sat rooted on the sofa. 

“Right. Now.” 

Chelsea brought up her hands, as if in surrender, and backed away.  

“Ok, ok, I'm going, I'm going.” she sneered, slamming the kitchen door. 

the girl collapsed onto her bed, not even bothered to change into her PJs, and left the duvet slump on top of her as she plunged into the depths of her pillow.  

 When the girl disappeared into the asylum of her room, Rachel pulled on a rubber glove and yanked her burner phone from her cupboard, and dialed the number.  

A raspy, echoey voice was heard-irritated and annoying.  

“I called you twice and you didn’t respond!”  

The woman rolled her eyes.  

“My Chelsea is as curious as a dog; she finds out I'm calling you; I'll be in big trouble. Anyway, where are we meeting?” she whispered, turning off the kitchen lights.  

“Oakley road, Barron wants us up there at 12. He also wants the hard drive.”  

Rachel raised her eyebrows.  

“Oakley! That's far away! What does Barron think I am? Wonder woman?”  

The voice laughed.  

“Well, you do look like her. Why don’t I pick you up in my car?”  

“Nah, I'll play wonder woman for today and catch a cab.”  

“Well, you have 25 minutes to do that.”  

The call ended, abruptly, as she reached for her hard drive.  

“As curious as a dog? You might be right about that.”  

In shock, Rachel let go of the phone causing it to shatter into uncountable pieces. Her head swiveled round- to meet Chelsea leaning on the doorframe. Anger spat at her face with pure fury.  

“What did I say?” Rachel yelled, ignoring Chelsea’s snidey comment.  

“So, you were part of the plan. Do you know what you’ve done? You exploded 300 people.”  

“You think I exploded 300 people?”  

Chelsea sniffed.  

“I'm not deaf, I heard the call. Some guy told you to bring the pen drive.”  

Rachel rolled her eyes and gave a fake smile.  

“I'm his security officer. I download the CCTV footage on his drive, and I give it to him, but he wants me to give it to him at Oakley Road, that’s all.”  

“you liar!”  

Rachel gave her another stare.  

“Just take care of yourself, I'll be back before 1.”  

“What are you going to do? yeah, right, Just ignore me! You're not going to live yourself, Rachel! y'know what I don't care if you send me back! you're a criminal and you know it! uh-huh, walk away and ignore me!” 

Rachel shut the door behind her and locked the door. she stood there to retain her breath. The cold air stung her skin as she stepped away from her porch. She could still hear Chelsea screaming from the inside in the dead of night. 

That girl she thought. 

her thoughts were soon interrupted by a beeping sound that echoed into the fog

The cab waited patiently on the curb of the street.  

Rachel waved at it and clambered in. She nestled her handbag upon her lap. 

“I need you to take me to Oakley Street.” 

She turned to look at the driver. He was wearing a balaclava; his deep blue eyes were the bright thing that shone in the dark. 

Rachel screamed; it pierced the ears of the night. 

May 15, 2021 13:16

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1 comment

E.G. Reid
00:19 May 29, 2021

I enjoyed this story! The opening line caught my eye, with its mysterious figure in a fedora. I think my favorite part of your writing is the descriptions, like where you describe the dico lights in the dark, and your BBC reporters! I also really like the closing line, it's so sharp and chilling, really fits the tone of this piece!


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