Emptied Heart

The open auditorium was filled with a fully seated audience captivated by the sound flowing from the raised platform. It was from a melody being produced from the melancholy dance of the bow and string held by a pair of skilled diligent hands. Once the performance was over, a pause hung in the air, waiting for the last note to float and dissolve, where a loud rumble of clap and cheers followed. While her deeply immersed shut eyes opened, Marie smiled at the cheering crowd and wiped the bead of sweat on her neck, waving her hands in a fanning motion to cool off from the summer heat. As she left the platform, a wave of loneliness that visited after every performance filled her. Being a wallflower, the cello was the instrument of her stirring emotions and this was the only time she could showcase it.

She made her way to the lockers when she saw a group of seniors mainly boys surrounding a girl. A girl with a petite frame and heart-shaped face, in which her almond eyes and straight nose perfectly fit. A reverse mirror to Marie. The girl caught her eyes and smirked, to which the group she was talking to turned to look at her.

“Hey, Marie! Great Performance,” shouted Ben, one of the senior boys that had his arm around the petite girl’s shoulder.

A hot flush stole across her cheeks as she stuttered, “Th-Thanks Benny,”

“Th-th-thanks Be-nn-y” the girl mockingly replied.

Few of them laughed while a hot flush stole across Marie’s cheeks.

Come on Jenna, she’s your sweet baby sister” Ben exclaimed.

“A baby she sure is,” Jenna smirked.

“Oh, I forget you’re sisters. She looks like nothing like you, or your mom Jenna. Are you sure she’s not adopted?” the girl beside Jenna snickered.

Marie stood tongue-tied, she never knew how to react to that, how many times it came up.

“Maybe.” Jenna shrugged looking at Marie head to toe.

Marie clenched her fists as she passed by them, stomping her feet.

“I’m just teasing!” called out Jenna laughing in distance.

As she got to her locker, she rolled her eyes at the charity campaigns led by Jenna stuck all over the bulletin boards. She was amused by the new project Jenna has put her nose to, which she was sure was just another social activity for the self-seeking sister.

As the day was done, Marie made her way back to the bus stop and slumped against the sidewall. The soft breeze played with her loose ponytail as she basked in the summer sun today.

Oddly after every performance, she missed home. Both she and Jenna had initially grown up in a rural village and had moved to this small town together to pursue a life in music. Jenna’s clarinet playing was lacking, so their mother still had to pay for the lessons but Marie had received a scholarship straight away.

As she raised her head up to the cloudy blue sky, she wondered when was it that they started hating each other. Was it when they came here or from before? It should have ranged from misunderstandings to vicious fights piling as the sisters grew older. But Marie could only remember yearning for Jenna’s attention. She remembered a memory when they were younger girls. Marie had presented all her savings in an empty chips box and one of her favorite dolls as a gift for her sister's birthday. Jenna had poked and prodded the gifts, tore the masking tape off the box, and kept the loose change into her pocket leaving the box and doll to the side and walked off. Now that she was much older, her heart sank at how secretly devastated her younger self was, more than anger she felt sad. Believing maybe she did something wrong then.

The bus came to the stop and she got in and sat by the last seat, opening up the bus window partly. Now Marie equally ignored her, because she felt peace, although it was temporary. The bus halted at the next stop where she saw woodpeckers pecking at a tall, disheveled pine tree that shook stronger with each peck. She wondered how long would it take for the tree to break down.

The bus lighted ahead and she reminded herself to check her mailbox in the hope to hear from her dream school in the city soon. This would be the gateway. An escape from this close-minded town where people like her shallow sister reigned and she didn't feel uncomfortable anymore. Her reflection on the window stared back at her solemnly and she told herself it doesn’t matter what she looked like. As long as she had her bow and talent, she could actually have a shot. As Marie got back to her dorm, she checked her mailbox to check to see if there was an acceptance letter. Nothing but few phone bills that included Jenna’s. Walking up to the stairs, she passed by her sister’s dorm wondering if she should drop it by. The matron was spotted from the opposite corridor, the girls hurling out of her way left and right and she wanted to avoid her as well, knowing the matron would give her some tasks. So she opened the door and sprung in hoping no one was in. As she looked around, it was clear. Her heart thumped as she walked towards the bedside and her head kept looking at the door. The matron was near her door telling off the room opposite hers.

She kept the phone bill at Jenna’s desk and turned to leave but the array of makeup brushes and hair rolls caught her eye. Sweat beads forming on her temple, Knowing she should leave already. Uncomfortable by the mess of books and makeup mixed up on the table and she muttered and blew her bangs off her face, annoyed that Jenna can’t even care for her things. One more look at the door and she decides to tidy up and have a look at the final year history textbooks. As she flips through the book, a bunch of letters falls to the floor to which she picks it up to see it’s a college essay and application letter jotted by Jenna. Curious, she read the essay but only to gasp and read it again. Ruffling through the remaining papers, she finds a letter in her own handwriting, from where Jenna’s essay is copied. Her own essay and application are tattered and then she realizes her sister never mailed her application and by now the deadline was over.

In shock she runs out of the room, pacing as fast she can, the tears uncontrollably falling over her cheeks, her hair. She closed her room and laid back on the door, finding her fingers trembling in anger, she punches her pillows around recklessly. Wiping her tears, she hoped it wasn't too late.

After a few calls to the school, she sank into her bed in despair but rose, just as the heaviness in her chest that was used to being dismissed, now returned stronger than ever. With that, she flung open the door and stormed to the cafeteria where she guessed Jenna could be.

Her guess was right as Jenna was hanging with her posse laughing and sipping on juice refreshments.

Jenna spotted Marie outside the café and walked her way towards Marie who found herself glaring down at the bracelet Jenna wore, something which belonged to her. She felt her entire body squirm along with the heat that hung lower than usual today.

“Marie, give me 30 dollars.”

“Why?” Marie pronounced.

“Why? Because I need it. Tsk come on Marie, Hurry I need to go back in.” Jenna scoffed while looking at her watch.

“But why should I give you my money.” Marie puckered.

“Because..we’re family?”

“Why am I your family only when you need something?”

Jenna felt the closed café door being slid open completely.

“We’re sisters Marie. Remember what mom says. Sisters share everything!” She laughed menacingly while looking around.

“Oh, so we’re sharing this too?” She held up her tattered application letter.

Jenna plunged forward to grab it. “Where did you get that? Did you go into my room?” She grabbed Marie’s shoulders bringing her away from the cafeteria.

“You sabotaged my application by reaching out to the school, canceling it, and plagiarizing mine?” Marie shook Jenna’s hands off her. She feels a shadow of heads piling behind the glass door.

“You don’t know what you’re saying. I’m going back in.” She innocently exclaimed turning to return to the café.

“Why did you do it?” Marie stepped forward.

Pausing, Jenna turned back slowly, her face now showing no remorse.

"You're really never satisfied are you?"

Marie was confused. "What?"

“Face it, you will do fine performing for shows here in this town. But that school in the city, I should be going there. Someone like me” She pointed to herself from head to toe.

“Someone like you?”

“Yes, you think you’ll really survive in the city with your looks and your greasy personality." She stepped forward, her head closer to Marie's. “Look at you. You’ve become so arrogant. A little bit of attention and now you want to move to the city. And if I can’t get in so can’t you.”

At her words, something switched inside Marie, and then it hit her. “So this is about staying in my league?.”

Jenna scoffed as she clasped her hands, “I know my place. Now give me 30 dollars as I asked you.”

Marie dint speak for a minute. She simply turned and started walking away.

Jenna “Where are you going? Give me the mon—”

Marie turned back swiftly “You know I thought if you grew up a bit more, you would change."

She drew her breath in. “Every year, when I would feel horrible because of you and how you treated me, I thought if I just gave you sometime, you would change. I really wanted to wait for you to be the sister who would stand up for me."

Jenna folded her arms as Marie continued.

“But I was wrong. And I could ruin this for you,” she held up the application.

“But it’s not worth it. You’re not worth it. Good luck big sis.” She threw the application back to Jenna and walked ahead, not looking back.

Her heart thumping in her ribcage, she felt her back heavy with perspiration either from the heat outside or inside her. If there would come a day that she would forgive Jenna, she didn't know but Marie knew it won't be easy anymore. And she knew she was done. With Jenna, with the tiptoeing and with the self-destruction. It was now up to her completely.

As she walked back, drops of rain hit her cheek and she stopped in surprise. A pent-up rainfall finding a loophole to break even in the haughty summer.