A border between

Laura pulled up to the side of the road and parked her car. She turned off her wipers. She pulled out her phone. 9:50am. It was almost time. She looked outside her window. The day was cloudy and it was already raining. The weather even called for thunderstorms. Before she knew it, a white pickup truck with green markings pulled up next to her car. The man inside signalled her to roll down her window. It was a United States Border Patrol Agent. “Hi there. What are you doing there alongside the road?” asked the man.

Laura quickly opened her window. “Hello. I’m just waiting for someone. We’re having a meeting!”

“Okay. Just make sure you don’t hand anything across the border.”

“Oh don’t worry. We won’t be crossing the border or doing anything illegal!”

“You can also meet at the Peach Arch Historical State Park. They even have gazebos that you can sit under so you can get away from this rain.”

“Oh I didn’t know that. Thank you so much!” The agent pulled up his window and drove off down the road. Laura sighed with relief. She took out her phone and texted Jack.

Hey Jack I’m here! The border patrol already paid me a visit haha

This was Laura’s first face-to-face meeting with Jack. Because of the pandemic and border closure they have only had video dates. Jack suggested a border date after seeing news articles about people and family members meeting at both sides of the border because of the closure. It was raining heavily now. The sky opened up and it wasn’t the best weather for a first date. Laura looked out her window at the clouds in the north. She felt a sadness in her heart. Over the course of her video dates with him, she wondered if this is something she really wanted to pursue with him. She was really excited to see him and she loved the conversations she had over the past few months with him. She just wanted to be sure with Jack before continuing any further she thought to herself. And a first in-person date would probably give her a better impression of him.

Laura received a text.

           Hey Laura! I’m here, I’m in the white car!

She looked out the window and saw a white car parked down the shoulder of the road. She saw Jack get out of his car and walk down the road towards her while holding an umbrella. Laura opened the door and opened her umbrella.

“Laura, hi! It’s so nice to finally meet you in person!” said Jack while smiling.

“Jack, it’s nice meeting you! Did you have any trouble getting here?” replied Laura. Just as she finished her sentence the same white pickup truck pulled up to the side of the road next to Laura.

“Hi there. How are you doing?” said the border agent to Jack.

“Hello. Good, how are you doing?” replied Jack.

“Just make sure you two don’t cross the border or hand anything across the border.”

“Absolutely. Thank you.”

The border agent closed his window and he drove off as soon as he arrived.

“That was the same person that talked to me earlier. And he came out of nowhere!” said Laura.

“Ha ha. Well they are watching us,” said Jack pointing to a surveillance tower. “They can probably see anyone coming up to the border from a mile away.”

“Can you believe that this is our first meeting?”

“Ha ha. It’s quite the first date, huh?” Jack said while smiling. They were separated by a small ditch and metal divider between them. There was also a stone border marker showing the border between the two countries. Besides the road and ditch, there was nothing but pine trees, fields, and farms as far as the eye could see. As there really wasn’t much of a shoulder on the Canadian side, Jack was standing a little uncomfortably close to the road. Every time a car went past Jack, he took a few steps closer towards the border and away from the road without actually crossing the border.

“I’m playing a dangerous game here in Canada for a first date, huh?” joked Jack.

“Ha ha. A little bit of danger can be okay,” replied Laura. Luckily for Laura, her side of the road was a large shoulder at the bend of a turn where she had plenty of room to park and stand at a safe distance from the traffic.

“So… introduce me to Lynden. It looks like a lot of farm land,” said Jack

“It is, ha ha. I remember coming up here a while ago for some work. There are a lot of Dutch architecture here because most of the people here are from Dutch immigrants.”

“I love that style of building. I don’t really see that here,” Jack said while smiling. “So… how’s your courses going?”

“Oh yeah I have to tell you before I forget. There is this course coming up in a few months for my personal life-coach program. It’s dedicated to all sorts of topics but it focuses on life-coaching skills, behavioural skills, and understanding emotional vulnerability. They only let a few people in each year since it’s a week long program with this life-coach that I really want to work with. The best part is that it’s held in a lodge out in California. So it’s part class and part retreat.”

“That sounds so exciting! You definitely have to apply. I bet you’d learn so much. It’s totally right up your alley Laura”

“I know, I’m excited too! I’ve always wanted to work with this life-coach. She’s well known in the industry and I can learn so much from her. Plus it’ll be like a mini vacation.”

Jack smiled. “I love hearing you talk about what you’ve learned in your life-coaching program. It’s like you light up.”

“Thank you Jack.” Laura gave a big smile back and looked at the weather from under her umbrella. The rain started to slow down since they met. There was a distant clap of thunder in the distant.

“Was that thunder?” asked Jack.

“I think it was!” replied Laura.

“This is such amazing lovely weather, isn’t?”

“Ha ha. At least we have our umbrellas.”

---

The conversation between Laura and Jack went on. He talked about how he was reading more poetry, his interest in Laura’s cat, Laura’s weekend trip with her friends, and childhood stories. But as their conversation went on, Laura felt that same sadness again. She was feeling as if there wasn’t the same connection she had with Jack. Why she felt it during their video dates, and not now talking to him in person, she didn’t quite exactly know. One would think that it would be exactly the same feeling and connection, but there wasn’t that spark she felt, she thought to herself. Perhaps it was the gloomy weather, the rain, the fact they were basically standing in one spot next to the road as their first real date, but Laura just felt like this was the most that could come from connecting with Jack. And as their conversation wound down, she felt like making a decision now and rather let him know in person.

“I had a lovely time. How about another date? But when the weather is a bit nicer?” Jack said while smiling.

A bunch of emotions raced through her mind. “Jack.” She took a deep breath. Laura paused for a moment before speaking. “I had a great time with you today, but I’m just not feeling the connection between us. So I think we should end this.”

The rain picked up again. It was raining heavily now. Jack’s smile quickly dropped. “Huh? What do you mean?”

“I don’t think it’ll work between us.”

Jack paused for a moment. He wanted more answers from her. “I see. Even though we had such good conversations and a great connection during our video chats… is there any reason?”

 “I know we did. And I really felt that connection during those dates. I think it’s that I’m just looking for a different kind of emotional connection and I’ll know it when I find it. But right now, I’m not feeling it with you anymore.”

“Is it because of this date? You know this isn’t really the best first impression for a first date. I would have liked it if we went paddle boarding at the beach or gone hiking on a local trail, but of course, we can’t really do any of that because the border is closed and the whole pandemic thing.”

“That sounds like that would have been a great date. And I agree. Standing here in the rain in one spot isn’t the best first date, but we did our best considering everything that’s going on. But it has more to do with me. You’re an absolutely lovely person and you’re so positive, and anyone would be happy to be with you.”

“A border is separating us… along with a pandemic. How can you really get to know someone when you can’t actually be with someone and get to know them?”

“You’re right, but I’m just looking for a certain connection. And I know it’s not here. That’s all.”

The rain was pouring. Jack moved his umbrella so the rain wouldn’t splash back onto his face. His back and feet were getting soaked because of the rain. Laura didn’t respond. Jack continued. “Okay. So just to be absolutely clear, you don’t want to continue this with me in any form?

“We can still be friends if you’d like but that’s as far as I want to pursue this.”

Jack paused. There was a strong connection between the two of them during their video dates, he thought to himself. But hearing her say all of this was surprising to hear. “Okay,” Jack paused. He then continued. “I know what you mean by wanting an emotional connection. I even said the exact same thing to you when we first started talking. And if it isn’t there, then it isn’t there. I understand what you’re feeling.”

It was raining hard. The sound of rain hitting both their umbrellas was deafening. An occasional car zoomed by blowing the wind and rain up onto both Laura and Jack. Laura felt that sadness in her heart. She wasn’t sure why she wasn’t feeling the same connection as before, and she couldn’t narrow it down to one thing specifically, but she thought it was best to let him know now in-person. “I had a great time,” Laura said. “Take care.”

Laura smiled and turned around, and got back to her car. Even though Laura was separated from him by the border closure she felt that wasn’t the issue. She couldn’t get over that a connection wasn’t there. It just wasn’t the same connection she had felt, and wasn’t the connection she was looking for. Perhaps it was the fact that she really stood in the same spot in the rain for their first meeting. Or perhaps their first meeting didn’t live up to her expectations. But whatever it was, she knew what she felt in her heart and what she was thinking, and what her feelings were telling her was greater than anything felt here today. She was looking for a home for her heart. It was her heart wanting more and deserving the best kind of connection the world could offer. And she knew that Jack, and herself, deserved the best kind of connection that could fulfill their hearts. It just wasn’t here at this time. This was separating them greater than the imaginary line in the ground between them. It was a separation that just couldn’t be closed and a border that just couldn’t be crossed, Laura thought to herself.

She closed the car door and turned on the engine. Laura turned on her rear-view wipers and took a last look in the rear-view mirror. She saw Jack walking to his car. She drove down the road along the border that separated them and headed back home.