The First Draft

Lucillien bursts through the wide iron doors and into the throne room. Sitting on his precious seat is her father, the king. She unholsters her ray gun and aims it at his head. “Give me back my kingdom or, so help me, I’ll blast a hole straight through your head.” She yells with the ferocity that could only come from a woman who has been wronged.

Nope, that’s stupid. If I were typing this out, I would hit the backspace button with “the ferocity of a boy who can’t come up with a good story.” (I don’t even know if I’m using “ferocity” right) In my mind, I do hit that button. But, in real life, I get back to work. 

“Hello there young man. I was wondering if you had a selection of books for someone of my age.” A sweet old elderly lady asks me as I shelve books.

Here’s a good lesson for dealing with this type of dilemma. While it may not seem like a big deal, I could easily offend her if I show her the wrong type of books. What is she asking for when she requests books for someone of my age? Does she want large text, romance, mystery, true crime, or something easier to read that is actually targeted toward a younger audience? So I ask her, “What kind of books do you like to read?”

“Oh, anything will do as long as I can see the words. My eyes aren’t as good as they used to be.” She wants large text books. It may have seemed obvious, but I’ve offended elderly people before and don’t plan on doing it again. 

The castle hovers over the kingdom. Literally, it's a spaceship.

“That’ll be 35 dollars. Thank you, have a nice day.” The elderly lady leaves Wendy’s Bookstore and I’m alone again. I turn the open sign to the closed side and stay at the counter for the next fifteen minutes trying to plot out my story on a notepad.

Lucillien is a lost princess to a cyberpunk style kingdom. She is trying to fight for her rightful place as queen after being kidnapped and sold to the outer rink slave trade. Through a trial of hardships and wrong turns, she makes it back and faces down her father. But, I don’t know how she gets there. What character development do I put her through? How do I make the reader sympathize with her? 

My name is Lucillien. What is my purpose? I yearn for the opportunity to kill my father and to rule the kingdom. I should be on that throne, not that bloodthirsty tyrant. 

I put down my pen and lean back in my chair, contemplating the next line. Out of the corner of my eye, I see a small group of college aged kids waiting by the door. I smile, waive, and let them in. Before I have the opportunity to flip the open sign, a guy in overalls opens the door and nearly knocks me out.

“Sorry about that sir.” He says to me, despite being a few years younger than me.

“No problem.” I say and flip the sign. “Do you need help with anything? We have the new Greenwich mystery.”

He looks around. “Thanks, I was just looking for my friends.” He spots them and rushes over to join the group.

I most likely go to the same university as them. I don’t recognize them but they're in a book store so they might be my type of people. Maybe I should introduce myself. The urge passes and I go back to the counter and write down more ideas.

I board the ship in heavy chains. One sudden move and the trigger will go off, instantly killing me. The ship master urges me forward and I sneer at him which warrants a swift hit to the back of my head. “Keep moving, scum.”

Before Lucillien can board the ship, a noise brings me back to reality. The guy in overalls is standing in front of me. He must have cleared his throat to get my attention. I look around for his friends and notice them standing outside, vaping. Definitely not my crowd.

“I know it's disgusting right.” Overall guy says when he follows my eyes. “I never understood the appeal of having a nicotine addiction.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to judge your friends.” I grab the stack of books from him and ring him up. “You guys go to Little Valley right”

“Yup I just started in fall and those losers are second years.” He gestures to his friends. “You go there too? I feel like I would remember you.”

“Yeah, I’m in my third year so our classes wouldn’t sync up.” I look down at the last book and nearly choke on my words. 

“What’s wrong?” He looks down at the book too. 

“Nothing, sorry. My, um, dad actually wrote this book.” I turn the book over to show the author's, my dad's, face. “No one has ever bought it from here before.”

“No way. Your dad is P.L. Novack? That’s crazy, my mom is obsessed with his books. She always said he wrote the best female characters. I thought I would check it out.” He blushes and hands me a pen. “Is it crazy to ask for an autograph?”

“Sure, it's a little strange, but why not.” I sign the copy and look at my name scribbled in pen next to my dad’s printed name.

He gestures to the notepad, “Are you a writer too? Should I expect to see your name around soon?”

“I don’t know. I’m just trying to jot down ideas, but it isn’t really flowing and nothing works.” I’m suddenly sad, “My dad used to say the first draft is the hardest but most rewarding part of writing a story. He was positive everyone had a story within themselves and that a first draft was the door that let the story out for the rest of the world to see.”

We say our goodbyes, exchange names and numbers, and suddenly he is out the door with his friends again.

I get back to shelving books.

Lucillien watches her father pace the throne room. His distraught is tangible and nearly chokes Lucillien. She tries to calm him down but it doesn’t work. In defeat, she leaves the room and heads down into the city below. When she returns, her father is no longer in the castle. She searches all day and all night, but he is gone. It wasn’t until Lucillien was older that she understood why he ran away. The blessing that she viewed the crown as, was a burden to her father. This weight broke the scale between being a king and a father, to being happy and free.

The story begins weaving itself together. Lucillien’s motives, her ideals and morals. Her journey will go down this path and make a turn here. She’ll face these challenges and overcome them by using this and that. She will be brave, eventually. But for now, she is scared and afraid. She is kind but intelligent. But one important thing to understand about Lucillien is that she believes she is never enough. She will always blame herself for her father’s desertion and the demons he left her with.

I shelve the last book and run over to the notepad and write down everything. Once I’m done, I smile. This is it, my first draft, the door that will let my story free and turn the scribble of my name into a printed version. I smile to myself and sigh with relief.

Then, I immediately go back and find the books I just shelved. There is no doubt in my mind that I misshelved every single one of those books.