Love Unending

Love Unending

It was colder than usual that day; the sky was clear blue with not a cloud in sight - nothing to blanket the warmth and hold it down onto the earth. She watched as the birds flew by, trying to escape the bitter shock of the air and find someplace warmer. How she wished she could be like them and just fly away and be content. But, she knew life was not that easy.

Dressing in her warmest boots and coat that had seen better days, she made the decision that today was the day she would no longer be trapped in the life she had once thought she would relish forever. She thought to herself how funny life can be, playing tricks on you, teasing you, and then tormenting you.

Growing up, her choices were limited to teacher, secretary, or housewife, and like a good daughter, she opted for the latter to please her parents. Not true, not only to please them, but to free herself and move into the world of a young adult. She married a man a few years older than herself. He came from a good family - hardworking and honest. He would show her what love could be. They had many good years together and lived a simple but happy life. Putting her coffee down, she shivered as she started to relive the days in her mind.

It was time, she thought. She loved him like no other but could not bear to see him like this anymore. He was once a strapping and sharp-witted man, quick to get anyone's attention and keeping it for however long he chose. He was friendly and kind and always had something good to say about everyone, even when it was hard to do so. That was one of the things she loved about him, and missed as well.

Looking out the kitchen window toward the backyard, she reminisced about the times she and her children and husband would bundle up and forge the hill. In the early years, the hill was a challenge. Three children all running up it at the same time, and the two of them trying to make sure all were having fun and not getting hurt. The hill seemed a lot steeper then, and maybe it was. Time wore it down as it did both of them. It was still a challenge, but this time not due to the fact that she had to watch the children. Just walking got her winded. She could only imagine how it would be trekking up the hill, especially with him in tow.

Her legs were not as good as they once were, and his were no better. The long walks they used to take together have long since been gone. She recalled the one spring when they walked all the way through Buttermilk Falls, and even made it up those crooked, wooden stairs. It pained her to think that he had given up one of their most treasured pastimes. As he got worse, he didn’t want to go out for fear he may see people he knew and then his secret would be known. So instead, he locked himself in his mind and house and stayed there. 

His resistance to change had caused them to lead a quieter and more solitary life, confined to the house and its walls. The neighbors all knew that he was not the man he used to be, and at first, they were scared, not for him, but for themselves. As for him now, the thought of the neighbors’ perception of him doesn’t even enter his realm. He waits for directions from her. He quietly and obediently follows her wherever she may go.

A chill ran through her as she looked out at the hill. It was calling to her as it had so many winters before. She put on her tattered coat, scarf, and gloves and then proceeded to get him ready. She sighed and took his hand, as she had often done so many times before. A tear ran down her cheek. It was bitter cold, so she made sure that he wore gloves and a hat and scarf along with his old wool jacket, the one she bought with him the first year they were married. She recalled how they fought about it being wool and not being able to get wet and therefore was impractical. She laughed to herself. Here now, the jacket was old and worn, just like the both of them. It made it through the years, good and bad. Yet, it had a comfortable safeness about it.

He looked up at her and opened his arms to her. He trusted her like no one else; she was his light, his love, his inspiration, even if he didn't remember her name. Sometimes he lost patience with her, and sometimes, she with him. But no matter what, the deep love they shared never withered. Patting his cheek, looking into his lost eyes, she searched for the soul of the man she once knew but still loves. She guided him to the back door.

They walked hand in hand, over to the top of the hill. It was a slight hill, but a hill nonetheless. In earlier years, they would ride down on their sled, arms wrapped around each other laughing and relishing every moment as the cold, wet whipped onto their faces. Then the children came, and the sled became two sleds, and eventually three. Squeals of laughter and giggling still haunted the air even though many years had passed.

As they approached the sled waiting at the top of the hill, he seemed unsure of the motive behind this trip. He had forgotten about the wondrous moments they had shared. He was scared. He looked into her eyes and the fear melted away. He trusted her. He gave himself up to her and whatever plan she had in mind for him.

They stepped together, sat on the sled, and took the last ride down the hill.