It's You!

There was no exciting moment to pinpoint or standout introduction committed to memory. Jackson was always just there. We were inseparable, long since before I could even remember. It sounds cliché, but we literally did everything together - same schools, every birthday party, and countless play dates. He was there for me though my first breakup and I was there for his parents’ divorce. It wasn’t until college that we didn’t see each other every day, and even then, we still called at least 3 times a week. And after college, we both moved here. Purely coincidence, though to be honest, neither of us were surprised. We always just assumed it was meant to be - Jackson and Jessica, dynamic duo and best friends forever. He really was always there. Until he wasn’t. 

“Jessica?” Darla called, breaking the reverie. She adjusted her comically large glasses and blinked owlishly at her client, who appeared determined not to look her in the eye. Jessica let out an irritated huff and sunk back further into the couch. 

“What do you want me to say?” Jessica bit out, staring intently at the ticking hand of the grandfather clock on the right wall. She didn’t mean to be cross - she really was trying - but talking wasn’t making anything better, despite what everyone said. 

“I want you to tell me the truth.” Darla pressed, her tone measured and calm as if soothing a feral cat. Last time you mentioned you were driving together. What happened after that?”

Jessica felt her heart seize up as the words tumbled out. 

“Some flashing lights, screeching tires, and the next thing I know, I’m in an ambulance and Jackson’s truck was tied around a tree. And Jackson...he had a date with Patty.” 

“A date with Patty?” Darla repeated, looking up confused. 

“Yeah, you know, the mortician.” Jessica hissed the clenched teeth, her heel of her hand pressing into her eyes as she attempted to halt the torrent of flashbacks racing through her mind. Darla nodded. Putting the notes aside, she leaned forward.

“It’s important to come to terms with what happened. But you also need to learn to move forward, which means you need to let yourself process your pain and grief. What happened can’t be changed.” She reached out, moving to lay her hand on Jessica’s knee. Flinching away, Jessica stood up, grabbed her bag, and headed for the door. “Where are you going?”

“Time’s up” came the reply. Behind her the door slammed shut, echoed by the tolling of the grandfather clock, signaling the end of the hour.

Jessica stormed away from the office building. What the hell was that idiot talking about moving on? You don’t just move on when your best friend of over 20 years d...d... disappears. She couldn’t bring herself to say the word, to voice the truth even to herself. Coming to the bus station, she finally stopped. Catching her breath, she looked around. Everything seemed so normal - people carrying on their daily lives as if nothing had changed, and it probably hadn’t for them. They could carry on their afternoon strolls and ice cream breaks and never know that someone was missing from the picture. Everything looked so...wrong. Jackson! Not a picture, not in her memories, but there! She thought he was d... gone, but there he was, right in front of her across the street, smiling!

As she stared, he glanced over towards her, and catching her eye, gave a small wave. She must have looked ridiculous, standing there with her mouth gaping like a fish, but none of it mattered. Tears began to blur her eyes, so much so that she almost missed the crosswalk turning green, but as soon as that blessed color flashed, she took off. The few seconds it took for her to reach him seemed to stretch in time as everything slowed, and that was all it took for Jessica to reach him. In a flying attack, she latched onto him, arms clinging around him as she sobbed into his shoulder.

“Jackson! Oh my god, I thought you were d... how are you here?” she cried, still not letting go. She felt his arms encircle her in a warm hug that she was oh so familiar with. He patted her head and whispered comforting words, his tone calming her just like so many times before. And so she let herself cry, conveying all her pain and emotions through the cascade of tears. A solid few minutes passed before Jessica felt calm enough to compose herself, finally standing up and pushing away to actually look at Jackson. “Oh my god. What are you doing here?” Looking him over again, she added, “Sorry about your shirt, by the way.”

“No worries about the shirt,” he chuckled. “And as for the rest, it doesn’t really matter. I’m here now, aren’t I?” Jessica smiled and shook her head. 

“Always full of surprises, huh?” she remarked, wiping the few tears that managed to escape her fragile control. “Do you wanna, I don’t know, go for a walk, maybe?”

“Sure.” Came the quick reply, and before Jessica could wrap her head around what now constituted reality, they were walking arm-in-arm down the park pathways, just as they always used to. They chatted about everything and nothing, from the weather to updates around the town to Jessica’s newest gossip about her friends, avoiding the one particular topic of his d... disappearance. She kept a tight grasp on his arm the entire time, needing to ensure to herself that Jackson wouldn’t disappear in a puff of smoke or that she wouldn’t wake up in bed or the hospital, again. For his part, her companion was more quiet than normal, but that hardly mattered. He was here!

They walked and walked, neither paying attention to the time until the sun was already drifting down behind the park trees. A couple more conversations later and they were sitting in Jessica’s apartment, sharing a bottle of wine, neither ready to let the evening end. They were in the midst of talking about the new restaurant being put in when Jessica’s watch began to beep. 

“8 o’clock already? “Jessica gasped. “I’m so sorry, Jackson. I didn’t mean to keep you all day! Do you need to go somewhere? I can call you a taxi.”

“I can call one,” he replied, setting his glass down. “I’d hate to leave, but I really should get back to my place.”

“Do you think we can get together again soon? After the...accident, I just, I really want to see you again. Make sure it’s not a dream, you know?”

“I get it. I’m free same time next week, if that works for you,” he offered, pulling on his jacket. 

“That sounds perfect. I look forward to it,” Jessica accepted, heart light at the thought of seeing him again and so soon. They walked to the door, and after exchanging one last hug, said their goodbyes. Once the door creaked shut, Jessica continued staring for another minute, still in disbelief. A smile ghosted her face as she finally turned away and headed back to the kitchen to clean up. While grabbing the wine glasses, she noticed a wallet on the ground. It must belong to Jackson. She picked it up and opened it, looking to see the picture of them at their high school graduation that she knew would be right behind his ID. Except it wasn’t there. And it wasn’t his idea. The world seemed to stop as she read the name on the driver’s license - Evan Anderson. Who the hell was that? Looking at the picture, it was definitely a picture of Jackson. But it wasn’t. It couldn’t be. Jackson was...dead.

Without a second thought, Jessica grabbed her keys and ran out the door. Dashing down the stairs, she found Jackson - no, Evan - standing on the curb, waiting for the taxi. He turned around when he heard her approach. He caught a glimpse of the wallet in her hand, and his eyes immediately widened in understanding. Both of them stood there, neither speaking for neither could find the words. Wordlessly, she handed the wallet over to him, before uttering one word, “why?”

Evan sighed, pausing for a minute as he ran his hand over his hair. “I know what it’s like. When I saw you on the street, I could have recognized that look from a mile away, and when you came over, I just wanted to help. I never meant to hurt you, and I couldn’t figure out how to tell you. I swear, I just wanted to help. I’m really sorry.” As he finished his little speech, the taxi pulled up. With one more glance at her, he stepped back and move to get in the car when he felt a tug on his jacket. He turned around to see Jessica holding him back.

“Can... can I still see you next week?” she whispered, looking up at him.

“Of course.” Evan smiled. Jessica let go, and he finally got in the taxi, waving back as the car drove off. 

When Jessica came into therapy the next week, Darla was shocked at the change in demeanor. “Did something happen last week?” she queried. Jessica smiled back at her.

“I think I’m ready to start moving on.”