Astronomy In reverse

The night air seemed much more humid than Darcy had anticipated. It seemed to almost cling to her skin but anything was better than being in a tiny apartment while the power was out.

From where she stood- the rooftop of her apartment building, it was like looking down at the world except the world seemed slightly darker than usual, with only a few specs of light decorating a handful of windows. Like the stars in the sky, she thought. That exact thought forced her to look up at the starry black.

Maybe it was the fact that she hasn't been up there in a long time, but the night seemed different, as though the night sky itself was giving her a sense of place and letting her know it was time to move on from everything that had happened in last three weeks. Her breath appeared to stutter in her lungs before she let it go, feeling the strain leaving her body. She sobbed into her hands, tears wetting the hem of her sleeves. These weren't the usual raw tears that come from someone drained of all hope but of hope restored.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize there was someone up here," Spoke a fruity but winded voice from behind her.

Darcy turned to find a girl not far from her age with a brass telescope in hand. Setting the telescope down, she ran a hand through her hair and let out a sigh of relief before giving Darcy a wide smile.

“Do you need any help with that?” Darcy asked, gesturing at the telescope with her chin.

“No, not at all. I’ve been carrying it up here every few days. Good exercise,” she joked. “Seriously though I’m fine. Do you wanna join me?”

“Well, I-I don’t want to impose,” Darcy smiled shyly.

“Nonsense. I could really use some company anyway. Just need to set up over there,” motioning towards where Darcy stood.

Darcy stared in awe as she the watched the girl worked in silence setting up the telescope, tighten nobs and adjusting lenses. Moments later the telescope was on it’s tripod stand. facing the night sky.

“I’m Celeste. How cliché right? A girl named Celeste being obsessed with Astronomy,” Rolling her eyes before reaching her hand out for a handshake.

Darcy took her hands and gave a soft smile, “Darcy.”

“ You’re really pretty Darcy.” Holding both her gaze and hand a heartbeat longer than necessary. Darcy could feel her blush simmering through her face all the way to her ear and for a minute, she wondered if her face was on fire.

 “Right, let’s get to it then,” she said, pulling her hand from Celeste’s hand.

 Silently, Celeste looked though the telescope and into the sky. There was almost a calmness to her demeanor that Darcy herself hadn’t felt in a while. Within a few minutes Celeste was away from from the telescope jotting down notes in a thin notebook she pulled from her back pocket.

“Darcy you don’t need to wait for me, you can gaze at the stars as I”-she gestured at the little book- ”do my thing?”

“ I don’t really know how to-”

“ Oh it’s quite easy, just look through the hole thingy and point the other part to whatever you want in the sky!” Celeste barked.

Darcy did just that. She was aware shooting stars were burning rocks and yet was still found herself in awe of their splendor. It was beautiful and endless. The telescope brought the heavens closer to her, deepening her connection to cosmos and once more providing a sense of place. Dissonant and slowly being put into tune. The tears flowed more freely this time and she let them.

“ Hey, are you okay?” A concerned voice spoke from behind her. She had completely forgotten about Celeste until her hands were rubbing at Darcy’s shoulders in a soothing motion.

“ You know I get. There’s solace in belonging to the universe. I’m sure that’s how you feel right now; a sense of peace and belonging,” Celeste smiled.

“ How did you know?”

They were facing each other now. Tear stain and smiles.

“ I knew because”- cupping Darcy’s face in her hands- “ The first time I ever truly looked up was magnificent.” she said in a whisper, the usual smile planted on her face. with one hand still on Darcy’s cheek, she tucked the few loose strands if hair behind Darcy’s ear.

“ I think you should take up Astronomy,” she said after a moment, letting go of Darcy.

“ Really, I don’t know much about-”

“ Oh come on, its not that hard honestly.”

“ Christ!” Darcy exclaimed, “ You're one of those weird folk that believe in horoscopes aren't you?” she let out a laugh, so sweet and childish despite the couple of weeks she had. “ you’re probably the type of people that make a wish at 11:11.” she let out a snort but beaming still.

“ First of all, I have nothing against the wishing or the horoscopes but I do none if those things. You’re thinking of Astrology,” Celeste deadpanned.

“oh?” Hot flames danced across Darcy’s cheeks and made it’s way to her ears. “Oh dear god, I’m so embarrassed,” she put her palms to her face to not only try hide the shame but to also- with any luck, cool her cheeks with her still damp sleeves.

“ Common mistake,” reassured Celeste. “ In all honesty though you should really take up Astronomy”

“ I could try, but where to begin…”

“ Well where to begin would be getting some binoculars then maybe a little notebook or one of those guidebooks? I mean, if that’s your style,” bubbled Celeste. ” Goodness! I’m talking your ear off. Sorry, I’m just really excited to share this with someone.”

“ I’ll do it!”

 ***

The days that followed passed by in a blur but the day she finally got the time to be up in the roof, the feeling of relief washed over her. Where’s Celeste? She thought. This was a reoccurring thought she had throughout the week; accompanied by ‘I hope Celeste is fine’ along the occasional ‘I wonder what Celeste is doing.’

As if summoned, Darcy heard approaching footsteps ascend the stairs that led to the roof. Acting all nonchalant, she faced the heavens and pretended to be looking up for constellations.

“ I knew I’d find you here,” not Celeste, NOT CELESTE! She panicked. She knew who that voice belonged to and yet-

She stood from where she perched and turned to find Fletcher standing there with a carry-on bag in hand.

“ I finally got had the time to come pick up the rest of my stuff,” Fletcher explained. That bag was packed the day you left Fletch, Darcy thought.

“ Lovely,” was all Darcy said.

“ Look D, I didn’t mean for us to end-”

“ But you did Fletcher. You ended us! So save it” the tears were back. Not of those she had grown accustomed to. These were the tears from the unbearable weeks before. From the the weeks with Fletcher. The weeks she had to live as though her world wasn’t built around Fletcher.

“ Of course.” Fletcher snarled, with a roll of the eyes, “Everybody blame Fletcher. Because I’m the villain right? I’m the bad guy who didn’t care about you or your feelings but I did Darc, it was just too much”

“You were supposed to be the one who stood by me forever and instead you're so out of touch with everything that isn’t you,” Darcy choked. The pain that flowed from her was almost palpable.

“ I- I think I should go,” Fletcher said, defeated.

“ That’s what you're good at anyway.”

“ That’s not fair Darc-”

“ Goodbye Fletcher.”

 ***

Celeste found Darcy on all fours sobbing but didn’t utter a word. Even as the tears flowed, her gasping wails echoes through the rooftop. She just silently pulled her into an embrace that seemed to last for ages.

“ I’m sorry, I’m such a mess,” Darcy said before blowing her nose into a cloth Celeste had handed to her earlier.

“ That’s alright. We don’t need to talk about it unless you want.”

“ I don’t.”

“ Then that’s fine too. I've got all the time in the world.”

Darcy gave a small smile. She was grateful for Celeste in this moment. Especially because she didn’t not pry.

“ I got you something Darcy,” Celeste beamed, handing Darcy two square books. “ One is a diary and the other’s a little guidebook. With maps and those little constellations and where or how to find them.”

“ This is really cool. Thank you. We should go down and get our instruments. I got binoculars like you suggested maybe we can-”

“Let’s sit this one out. Let’s just stare into the infinite.”