My Manorama

"Are you coming tonight....?"she nudged me with a soft voice.My palms had already started sweating showing immense tension that I was trying to hide,the dryness in my throat stopped me from replying,drops of sweat gathered on my forehead,eyes trying to avoid her gaze.I tried to take a gulp and replied nervously "ye..yes..sure" the stammer in my voice was sure to narrow her eye brows,she was looking at me straight,piercing me through."Are you still nervous?"she asked,"Yeah,..No..I mean.."I stammered again.She held my hands in her soft ones,an electric spark flowed across my body,she stroked my hands gently"I told you I am with you...why do you have to feel so nervous?"she spoke in her voice which was rhythmic as music.This is what I liked in her.She was beautiful,big-black eyes sparkled with collyrium,lips as pink as the petals of rose,she was fair,dark hair waved all along her shoulder up to the knee ,she was soft spoken and empathetic.That's what pulled me towards her with an invisible string."Just a little.."I uttered a little relaxed by her touch.I had hardly been social.My apartment,my room,my laptop,my books and my writing pad was all my friends.I felt relaxed and happy in solitude.Quiteness and calmness gave me life of independence free from the hustle bustle of the outside world.I had no accounts in social networking site,no girl friend,no date to go for.I stayed away from making too many friends.Social gathering and parties seemed to be curse for me,I used to get exhausted.In solitude I found my energy,my ideas.My school life and my college life had always been different.I had never participated in the events and gatherings,always stayed away from big friend circles,always kept my views to "Yes,no,ok"and few nods,I never felt interested in sharing my comments.I used to find people around me jelled up so quickly with eachother.I always felt guilty of declining invitations and ultimately every one thought me to be mentally disturbed and left me alone.Yes I am an introvert and I love staying alone in my own little world.

After completing my education,I tried looking out for jobs but since I could not express myself well,I could not get a job.

But who cares,I was predominantly concerned with my own thoughts and feelings rather than external things. I was shy, reticent and was often assumed to be self-centered for this reason I was counted to be one of the most worthless being,who was unable to crack an interview to get a job.

Often comments would fill in and discouraged me and shut me in my room.Books had always been my best friends and that is what brought me close to her.

"Manorama"The encounter at library was extremely funny,when she almost cribbed over a book which I was holding to be issued.She too needed the same book.I being shy couldnot sustain in front of the bubbly girl and when I handed her the book,I saw that beautiful smile on her face which any man could die for.She turned around while leaving and thanked me with that very smile.

When I reached home,I could not stop thinking about her.Her big black eyes,dark hair played around in my head,her smile seemed to spread pearls around.She did some magic on me,perhaps this was called"love",which I was experiencing for the first time.I pulled out my writing pad to scribble something,but could not concentrate.I could not share my feeling with others as well,I was too shy.I waited for the day impatiently when she would return the book to the library and I would get a chance to see her again.

She was there in the library,I spotted her but couldnot go near,she waved at me but I was too nervous to wave back at her.I immersed myself in a book thinking of ways to speak to her when I felt someone standing next to me nudging."Do you not recognise me?"a soft chime soothened my ears.I looked away from the book towards her,our gaze met...I was hooked and could not look away from her.She was as beautiful as a dream,fantasy formed clouds in my mind.She seemed like a fairy to me. May be she understood the situation and smiled,"Coffee?"a little louder to shake me up from my dream,but louder enough to let the librarian look at us with frowing face.She almost pulled me out of the library and I followed her without a word,I was in a trance.

That evening when I returned back home and tried scribbling something on my notepad,her face lingered in my thoughts.I was so engrossed in her thought that I forgot to eat or drink as the days passed by.

She was as if my insipration,we started meeting often,but the more I met her,I found her to be more beautiful and mysterious,this gave me the exact water to the seed of my thoughts to germinate and bring in a good novel.I spent days and night in her thoughts,scribbling in my notepad.My family suddenly grew concerned about me.I was eating less,hardly came out of my room,I used to comeout only when I used to meet Manorama.

Days passed by,weeks went on,months ended and we came closer to each other.

We would meet often at the cafe,restaurant and the library.My writing went on....I just did not stop to scribble ...a novel based on "My Manorama"

I engrossed myself more into writing..for which I left my home and went in to the lap of nature in Doars...Manorama followed me offcourse.Each moment that I spent with Manorama not only gave me inspiration to write and nurture my thoughts but each day spent was amazingly beautiful like a dream....

And today when my book was published and the first 10,000 copies were sold in just a single day making a record and few day later first 1 million copies were sold.....I still remain that introvert except for only one who knew my truth & me.

The sun was setting with the emergence of the dusk,when I slowly walked towards the auditorium,this was my first appearence as an author in public but the strange fear,anxiety followed me.My palms were wet with the sweat,a dry throat longed for a gulp of water,I was nervous,I had never been in to such big gathering addressing around 50,000 people in the auditorium!Suddenly I felt a grip in my hand...Manorama....she was right beside me,she slowly led me to the stage,where I was to share my experience about the book.I walked across the stage following her she led me to the podium,where the microphone was waiting for me.For the first time on stage in front of 50,000 audiences I was to say something....

"A..hell...hello ever..every one...."my throat dried,I felt as if a roar of laughter floated from the audiences as if to taunt me.I could not look at the crowd directly...then suddenly from the crowd emerged that beautiful smile,the big black eyes,the lush of black hair ,looking at me straight to say"Why are you nervous?I am here with you!"

".......and thats what gave birth to my novel"My Manorama..."I heard applauses all around impressed by my speech.I had for the first time spoken in public for such a long time....I was overwhelmed...a confidence overpowered all my nervousness..a new energy formed all around me ,I could see my audiences,journalists,writers,authors flocked around me...and out of all those people a beautiful smile spreading pearls,big black eyes and the lush of dark hair...seemed to go behind little by little as the crowd emerged towards me like a wave of the sea...slowly and gradually those eyes ,smile and hair faded away...I smiled and looked up towards the sky....My fantasy..My Manorama..My inspiration...Thank you for everything!