The Tramp and the Baby

I sit and watch the trolleys rattlin their chains in the wind. The snow’s comin heavy enough to bury them and in another ten minutes they won’t be rattlin nothin. It ain’t fallin, it’s comin from every direction, whipped up and driven sideways by the wind ’til the air’s just full of it. I watch it roar around through the big shop windows as I sit under the electric hum of the strip lightin and dust off my fourth box of coco pops. 

I never known why supermarkets leave their lights on all night. I wish they left the heatin on too.

I get up and stretch and yawn, keepin an eye on them big windows, ready to run at the first glimpse of a blue light through the white haze. We didn’t used to get blizzards round here. We didn’t used to have rationin. Neither of them done people like me any favours. Used to find us sleepin in doorways or under bridges. You really gave a shit, you could call the bobbies and they’d come move us along. Now we get caught just about anywhere and we’re off to one of them labour centres. I ain’t goin back to one of those. No-one survives those in a blizzard.

I’ll be alright though. Long as I don’t fall asleep. It’s well into the night but the chilled air’s keepin me awake. I can’t be here when they come open up in the mornin. Get caught takin food I might not even make it to a labour centre.

I shake off the yawn and rub my eyes and move over to the milk aisle and grab a bottle. As I twist the top off, I spot a camera tucked in a corner, pointin right at me. I turn to look straight into it and take a deep swig of milk. I swish it round my mouth, creamy and sweet and cold enough to make my teeth ache, then I give that camera my widest, warmest grin and let their milk trickle past my teeth and through my beard and into a little pool on the floor. They had me on video soon as I walked in here. They won’t find me once I’m gone.

I turn back to the front windows and keep drinkin the milk and watchin for lights. I look deeper and deeper into the swirlin white night and feel my eyes gettin heavier and heavier. The strip light above me flickers and I shake myself awake. I turn to the shelves to look for coffee and as I do my eye catches somethin outside. I freeze. I turn slowly back to the window. The light flickers again and for a second I see a shadow standin behind the trolleys. The light steadies itself and the figure disappears behind the glare of the window. 

I strain my eyes but I’m dizzy with sleep and gettin dizzier tryin to look into the spinnin blizzard. The trolleys are almost invisible through it all. I take a step forward and see my own reflection creepin towards me in the window. I see myself clear as day. And so does anyone outside.

I I keep my eyes on the window and walk backwards ’til I get to the end of the aisle and duck behind the rows of fridges. I lean against the shelves and steady myself. The tappin from the dodgy light suddenly sounds like a tiny fingernail tappin against a window. Like a child caught in the storm.

I pull my coat tight around me and head back the way I came in. I don’t look at the window, I just rush through to the store room and head straight to the door with the dodgy lock. I get there and stop. There’s already a thick carpet of snow spreadin from the doorway. I definitely closed it behind me. Didn’t I? 

I look around me, ready to get jumped. But there’s no-one here. The only sound’s the wind howlin through the open door. I take a step forward and the crunch from my foot in the snow fills the room like a loud slap. It’s answered by a gurglin. My head whips towards the sound. There’s a pile of blankets on the store room floor set a little back from the door. It’s wrigglin.

I look around again but I ain’t about to call out. I side-step the snow and stand over the bundle. I look in and the baby looks right back at me.

“Fuck me.” I step back away from it and look around again. As if its mum might just be grabbin somethin from the shop. As if its mum’s comin back at all.

“She didn’t even shut the fuckin door.” Whoever left it here has left it. I breathe deep and close my eyes and remember how tired I am. How close I am to collapse. 

I shake myself awake and look down at the baby and try to think. What am I meant to do? Take it to the police?

“If I leave you the staff might find you in the mornin.” As talk I look over at the thick layer of snow still blowin in. Then I look back at the little face. Its nose has already gone blue.

“Shit.” It gives a soft whine and fidgets with barely enough strength to shift the blanket, “Yeah alright blue face I get it.” I pick it up and tuck the blanket in where it’s come loose. I hold it close to my chest and go over to the door. The wind and ice sting my face and the hand that’s shieldin the kid but only for a second. I pull the door and the wind slams it shut.

“What now then?” I pace in the dark, quiet room, rubbin the baby’s back, “Can’t take you to the police can I? Police would be the end of me. Hospital would call the police. And where else is there? You don’t wanna come live with me. No offence mate, I don’t think you’ve got it in you.”

All at once, the baby starts squirmin and kickin and cryin, like it’s suddenly come to life. “Bloody hell Blue,” I raise it up to look at it, “what d’you want?”

It stops cryin and looks back into my eyes. “I reckon you’re a boy. Must be with a name like Blue.” I hold his stare and he holds mine. I sigh.

“I need to get out of here. Come mornin I’m gonna be in big trouble. More than it’s worth for a box of cereal. People do all sorts of nasty things to people when they can. So I’m gonna wrap you up good and tight, find you a good spot, somewhere they’ll find you first thing. Alright?”

He gurgles a bit and shifts. Maybe even smiles.

“Fuck, you got no idea do you? No-one’s gonna be here ’til all this blows over you know.” I watch him, waiting for an answer, “Course you don’t.”

I hold him close again and keep rubbing him warm as I walk back out onto the shop floor. 

We get back out into the cold, glaring lights and I set him down right by one of the tills. I look up, the light’s shining down on him cold, white and steady. I look over to the window and see the two of us, clear as day. 

He’s visible from outside and he’s in the first place they’ll go once they open up again. I lean over him and give his nose a little poke, “Well, bye bye Blue.”

I turn and before I can take a step he makes another gurglin sound. I stop and turn back to him, “Just ain’t fair, is it?”

A few more seconds of starin at each other and I’m pullin my coat as tight as it’ll go. I stuff the sleeves with scraps of paper I find lyin around and wrap my scarf round my face. I lean into the door and manage to heave it open just wide enough that I fit through and suddenly I’m gettin battered from every direction by the wind and snow. 

I duck my head and start walkin away from the shop, straight into the blizzard. I’m tired and I’m sore but I’ve got a ways to go so I keep goin. The cold’s flyin straight at me so I cross my arms and feel the warmth from the tiny body tucked in my coat.

“It’s alright, Blue. Station ain’t far.”