0 comments

Fiction Funny Horror

 “Where do you think you’re going?” Darrel asked annoyed with Chloe.

“The hell away from you!” she replied as she packed her bags. “I’m done with your lies. You’re a fricken ass.”

“Look. I’m sorry…” he started.

“You damn right you’re sorry. A sorry excuse for a man,” Chloe stated. “I can’t believe it took me this long to figure that out.”

“You can’t go now,” he offered.

“And why the hell not?” she asked as she folded her favorite black dress and put it in her suitcase.

“It’ll be morning soon,” he reminded her.

“Don’t give a shit,” she retorted.

“Where will you go?” he asked realizing that she was serious this time.

“None of your concern,” she stated as she looked around for anything she may have missed

.

“Look. I know you’re upset,” he started. “Just stay the day. And if you’re still mad tonight, you can go. I won’t try and stop you.”

“You aint stopping me now,” she stated and then she headed for the door.

Darrel stepped in front of her to try and stop her from leaving and she slammed him against the far wall like a rag doll. Darrel was up quickly, teeth exposed. But Chloe’s teeth were bare and she was ready for a fight as well.

“It doesn’t have to be this way,” Chloe stated eyeing him wearily. “You’re young. You’ll find another. Maybe someone that will put up with your bull. I’ve had enough. Fifty years is enough for me. Just be glad I was easy on you.”

Darrel calmed himself and retracted his fangs. In reality they were useless against another of his kind. And Chloe had age and experience on him anyway. She was right. She could have snapped his neck just as easily as she had tossed him across the room. She had over six hundred years of being a vampire on him. He was a child compared to her even though he was nearly two hundred years old himself. He was turned young and never really grew up. Chloe was over eight hundred years old and had lived through a lot. She was tougher and meaner than most.

When Chloe reached the train station the sun was only twenty minutes behind her. Counter to what you may have heard or read in books and movies, Vampires do not burst into flame and turn to dust in sunlight. Nor does Holy water or Garlic hurt them. Break their neck or decapitate them, yes they die for good. She made her purchase and was soon heading West.

She had closed her eyes and put a finger on the map. Minnesota, her ticket read. She settled back into her seat and slept the four hours that it took to reach Minneapolis. When Chloe reached the station she gathered her luggage and bought a map of the state. She walked into the station coffee shop, ordered a large black coffee and sat down to study the map.

She sensed the presence of others, some turned to look around but failed to notice her. She had years of experience and time to hone her senses. An older man appeared, bought a coffee and before he left he placed a dime on Chloe’s map. She sensed that he was strong. She picked up the dime and saw the name of the city that it had covered. North Field. She searched her memory, Jessie James gang sprang to mind.

“Why not?” she thought.

She taxied over to the bus depot and bought a one-way to North Field. She checked into a hotel and then bought a paper. She searched the market for real estate. She got lucky and within a week she had found a one hundred year old Manor that nobody seemed to want. It had sat empty for nearly two years and it needed some work. She bought it and quickly became a suburbanite. To all her neighbors she was Chloe Alexander, a thirty five year old actress. Beautiful beyond compare who just wanted out of the rat race and to settle down.

About a month or so in her new home there came a knock at her door. It was Erica with a tray of cookies.

“Excuse the intrusion,” she stated. “Just thought that ya might like some cookies don’t cha know.”

“Thank you Erica,” Chloe stated and then she smelled the blood. “Come on in and I’ll get us some coffee.”

“Oh no. I can’t stay,” Erica offered. “I’m right in the middle of making a batch of blood sausage for Thanksgiving. I gotta get to it ya know.”

“Where do you get your blood from?” Chloe asked. “If you don’t mind my asking.”

“Not at all,” she replied. “The butcher shop can get anything you need in this town. You like blood sausage do ya?”

“Yes. It’s been a long time since I’ve had some really good sausage though,” Chloe stated. “It was a long time ago in a small village in Norway.”

“Well ya found yourself in a good spot then,” Erica stated. “Right in the heart of Scandinavian country. Lotsa Norwegians and Swedes. I’ll bring ya some over when it’s ready if you like.”

“Well thank you Erica,” Chloe said. “I’d like that. Just as long as it doesn’t short you any.”

“Don’t cha worry about dat,” she stated. “I always make more than we need anyways.”

“Okay. I won’t keep you any longer. Thanks again for the cookies,” Chloe said.

“You betcha,” Erica said and then headed down the walk.

Later that afternoon Chloe made her way into town and stopped at the butcher shop. It was difficult for her to remain calm what with all the fresh bloody meat in the display cases. She talked with Paul the owner and she told him what she needed and when. He assured her that he could get it and she bought a few fresh roasts and headed out. Another myth about Vampires; they don’t just live off of blood. They do eat regular food and get hungry just like ordinary people.

Some time later Chloe was getting ready for Halloween, it was one of her favorite times of the year. She was a Vampire after all and what better day to be herself and not have to worry about being found out. She had the obligatory decorations out in the front yard and a huge bowl filled with candies ready and waiting as well.

That morning she got ready for the day and the subsequent night to follow. She put on a pair of black satin panties, black satin bra, black pantyhose and her black heavy satin corset. She normally didn’t wear heels but for this night she stepped into her black leather knee high stilettos with three inch heels. She reached into her closet and pulled out her black leather dress. She had it custom made by a master tailor in the mid seventeenth century. It was well constructed and still looked great to this day. It was mid calf in length with three quarter sleeves and deep Vee neckline. She stepped into it and then laced it shut. She did her hair and make up and was ready.

She drove into town and did some last minute shopping. The residents of the community were very friendly and welcoming. A stark contrast to the big metropolis that she had fled a few short months ago. She stopped by the hardware store and Andy came out to help her. Andy was sweet and very shy around women. Chloe sensed this the first time she met him. She always talked to him and not at him. She hoped that he would come out of his shell a bit more and he was always polite. Chloe figured him to be about sixteen maybe seventeen tops and he had helped her a lot with all the things she needed to fix up her old house. She noticed a few birthday decorations mixed in with the Halloween decorations also.

“Who’s birthday is it?” she asked Andy.

“Mine,” he replied.

“What are you now, seventeen?” she asked as she picked out a few items

.

“Eighteen,” he replied as he showed her the better items to get.

“Legal now,” Chloe said. “You and your girlfriend going out tonight?”

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” Andy blushed. “I thought I’d go down to the V F, they’re having a party for the kids. I think they’re showing a horror film later as well.”

“Sounds like fun. I’ll be handing out candy I hope,” she offered.

“Don’t expect to many kids,” Andy stated.

“Why’s that Andy. Or should I call you Andrew now that you’re a man?” she asked.

“Andy’s fine,” he replied still blushing. “You bought a haunted house you know! All the kids are gonna be to scared to walk up to your door.”

“Well. The Realtor never told me about that,” she stated. “Maybe I should put up a bunch of lights so that they don’t get scared.”

“That might help,” he offered. “It don’t hurt now that you moved in either.”

“Oh really? You sayin that I liven the place up?” she kidded.

“Sorta,” he said and blushed even more. “I mean. Now that there is someone staying there the stories about it being haunted should go away. It might take a while though. You may not get to many takers this year.”

“Maybe I should change out of my costume then. Don’t need a Vampire answering the door at a haunted house,” she offered. “Answer the door like a normal suburban house wife. Oh wait. I’m not married. I’d need a husband, or someone to play the part. You really wanna go to the V F tonight?”

Andy turned about fifty shades of red that moment.

“Mom’s taking my younger sister and brother so I should go and help her,” he replied.

“I was kidding Andy. I didn’t mean to embarrass you,” she said as they headed for the checkout.. “You really are sweet, and cute.”

“So are you,” he muttered as he rang her up.

“You find everything okay?” Pete the owner asked as he walked by. “Did Andy get cha what cha needed?”

“He sure did Pete. He’s a good worker,” Chloe said and then she walked out.

Chloe was beating herself up on the way home.

“You just got rid of one young guy and now you’re looking at another?” she thought.

“Darrel’s an idiot,” she countered. “Andy’s sweet. I can help him and he can sure as hell help me.”

“Go to the bar and find some rebound dick. Don’t mess up Andy’s life,” she thought.

“Who says I’m gonna mess up his life?” she countered again.

“You turned Darrel and look what happened,” she thought.

“He turned out to be a jerk anyway,” she countered. “It wouldn’t have mattered if he was turned or not. He was and still is a jerk. He’d a just died a long time ago is all. I don’t plan on turning Andy.”

“That’s just it. You never plan on turning them but it happens,” she thought. “You get to emotionally attached. Even now, you’re eight hundred and seventy six years old and this boy has got you hot.”

“I’m still a woman and I have needs,” she countered. “I’ll limit my time around him so that he doesn’t fall under my spell.”

That night Chloe had maybe a dozen kids stop by in spite of the fact that she had her yard well lit up to show that it was not a scary house.

*****

She made friends with as many neighbors as she could by baking cookies and bars and then passing them out during Thanksgivings and Christmases. Most of the middle aged married couples wives didn’t like her because they assumed that she was trying to steal their men. She just ignored those and concentrated on the ones that wanted to make peace.

When she did feed on blood, which was about once a week, it was on fresh animal kills or blood stock that she purchased from the area butcher shops. The residents of her neighborhood didn’t realize it, but their lives were much safer since she moved in. Another myth; Vampires don’t just attack humans because they want to. Perhaps in the middle ages when there wasn’t any law around it became quite prevalent. Not so much now with technology. Vampires don’t need as much sleep as normal people so they can patrol an area much like a security team could. Thereby keeping criminals away from the area.

Occasionally she would sense the presence of others when she was out shopping but she never sought them out. And those that could, sensed that she was strong and was an elder so they never stuck around anyway. She always ate healthy and exercised so as she didn’t age as fast as the normal people they assumed it was because of her healthy ways. She was for all intents and purposes, the quintessential suburbanite with her backyard barbecues and Fourth of July parties that most of her neighbors enjoyed. No one knew that their neighbor was a Vampire.

October 26, 2020 20:13

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

0 comments

RBE | We made a writing app for you (photo) | 2023-02

We made a writing app for you

Yes, you! Write. Format. Export for ebook and print. 100% free, always.