Undusted.

Undusted.

Dust had gathered on everything she owned including her love life.

Dust had settled on the books in her library (otherwise known as her college textbooks that she couldn’t sell back to the bookstore at the end of each semester) that were stacked haphazardly on her Ikea bookshelf in the room that was supposed to be a dining room but because she never dined with anyone, it was her library. She did have a table but she certainly never dined at it. The table was a catch-all for everything she ought to remember to do but because the table was such a melting pot of paraphernalia (letters, coupons, reminders, odds and ends) that it became more of a Bermuda triangle of things that would never again resurface. She had to be careful not to set something important down like her keys in the wasteland of no-return. Randomly she would sweep it all into the trash can on trash day when she became claustrophobic with stress which required a mental health declutter.  The sight of her empty table seemed to act like a factory reset to her cluttered mind. She didn’t sit at the table because dinner was usually ramen right out of the pan. There was no need to make dishes that had to be washed when a spoon and her Wearever pan on a hot pad eaten on her oversized couch would do it.  The last time she had shared a meal with a man was when her nephew invited her to lunch with him and his first-grade class. She loved the dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets and Jello. She may need to add that to her Friday night menu. On the way to the elementary school cafeteria, she looked at his tiny hand in hers. She wondered if they opened her up if there would be dust settled in little stacks on her organs including her heart which hadn’t beaten for someone in a long while.

It was the dinosaur-shaped chicken nugget concept that had led her on Friday night to the frozen snack section of the grocery store on her way home from work. She hadn’t intended to stay as late as she had but she was always more successful at being productive when everyone else had gone home to their families and she had the office all to herself. Even the cleaning woman had come and gone after they awkwardly chatted about the weekend while she emptied her garbage can. She ran to the break room to refill her water while the busty Cleaning Specialist dusted her cubicle and those around her. She cranked up the music in her EarPods as the sun faded to golden light of sunset and eventually the deep blue of too-late-to-be-hanging around the office. The $14 salad she had for lunch had long worn off and the deep-pitted rumble from her stomach was becoming undeniable.

She found herself alone in the frozen food section with the exception of one person. She had gone with what she felt like was a more grown-up version of dinosaur chicken and put the bag of popcorn chicken in the basket swinging from her arm. She was thinking, with all caution to the wind, a good side dish to this indulgence would be cheese-covered tator tots. The lone gentlemen who shared the aisle with her was standing in front of the section she needed. He looked perplexed and had been standing very still in front of the Totino’s pizza rolls. He didn’t seem to notice that he was no longer alone.  She took one step closer, cleared her throat and said, “Do you need a second opinion?”

He jumped just a bit and stammered, “wh-what?” He finally turned to look at her. He looked a little ashamed to have been caught standing stock still in front of the frozen egg rolls looking in with such intensity.

“I was just wondering if you needed help picking something?” and she gestured toward the abundance of frozen snack options.

“Maybe I’m not as hungry as a thought. I can’t decide on anything.” He grabbed the handle and opened the glass door.  “Please. Be my guest.”

She felt very self-conscious now of everything. Her worn work shoes. The fact that she had not called her hair stylist in months and there were roots showing under the ponytail she had pulled her hair into just before she jumped in her car to go home. The fact that her basket held nothing but chocolate and popcorn chicken and she was just about to add a bag of frozen tots. She all-of-a-sudden felt childish and stuttering at his gaze while he waited for her to pick her frozen snack. Why had she engaged him in conversation at all? She could have just circled the store a bit and come back in a few minutes.

“Thank you.” She stammered as she went in for the tots grabbing too large a bag but hurrying back out as he stood waiting with the door in hand. And then she had to add to the awkwardness with: “…If you changed your mind, I can grab you something. The sweet potato waffle fries are a good idea for a Friday night movie.”

He chuckled a laugh that seemed genuine and lifted his shoulders a bit. “No way. It’s the jalapeno poppers if its anything.”

She made a little bit of a face at that.

“Can’t stand the heat eh?”

This time she laughed. “I can’t eat poppers with anyone else around.”

His head cocked to one side in interest. “Really? Why?”

Now her cheeks were warming and changing color. Why had she said anything? She ducked her head. “I cannot tell you that. I don’t even know you.”

“That makes me the perfect person to know. We’re going to get our frozen food, check out and never see each other again. What have you got to lose?”

“It’s too embarrassing.”

“I promise to never meet you in the frozen food aisle again on a Friday night. Just tell me. You know you want to.”

“It’s silly.” She said turning away from him but not walking away.

“I’m waiting.” He said closing the door to the freezer and stepping to her side so that she was in profile.

“It’s stupid. Okay? I like the flavor of the pepper but not the texture. So I crack open the popper and pull the jalapeno out. Then I just eat the cream cheese in the breading with just a hint of the heat.” She giggled unwittingly again. “There. Are you happy?”

“Fascinating.” He just stood staring at her for a moment. “That can’t be the only food you eat that way. What else is there?”

She blushed even deeper. How did he know? She did not answer right away.

“C’mon. Please?”

“Buy me a Snickers bar and I’ll show you how its done.”

He was intrigued. “Let’s do it.” He started for the front of the store.

What was she doing? He was cute and all but who was this guy? She followed him to the check out lines at the front of the market. He picked one of the empty self-check-out machines and rang up both candy bars. “May I?” he said reaching for the basket on her arm.

“Nah. I got it.” She went to the machine next to his and rang up her three items.

When she was pulling the receipt off the printer, he leaned closer and said, “Come with me.” And he led her out to the parking lot. He went to a nearby truck and put down the door to the bed and hopped up to sit on it. He patted the seat next to him. “Come on up.”

She climbed up with a lot less grace then his swift jump. He handed her the Snickers bar and nodded for her to begin. The self-consciousness was back in full force. But his blue eyes were anxiously watching for her to begin. She opened one end and pulled the wrapper back to reveal the bar.

“Step one.” She said quietly. “The chocolate.” She slowly nibbled the chocolate off the top of the bar, then the sides, and then off the bottom of the bar that was unwrapped. She nodded at him to proceed. He unwrapped half his bar and just took one swift bite and put the whole thing in his mouth.

“Keep going.” He prodded.

She then ate the nougat off the bar and finished with the caramel-nut mix.

“Tell me more. I’m intrigued. What started this whole eating-in-layers thing?”

She laughed and started to tell him. After a few minutes, she said, “more importantly, why don’t you eat in layers?”

They talked in the back of his truck for nearly an hour. Her food was melting in the bag. “It’s late and I should go.”

“Where are you parked? I will walk you to your car.”

She pointed to a blue car a couple of rows down from his truck in the now mostly empty parking lot.

“I am going to have to break a promise I made to you.”

“What? What promise?”

“I am not going to promise not to meet you again on a Friday night in the frozen food aisle.”

“Really? I think we could make this happen again. I can show you how to eat lasagna next time.”

“Deal.” He said and reached out his hand to help her down from the truck. She took his hand. His hand was warm and calloused a little. He kept hold of her hand as they made their way to her car. She looked down at his hand in hers.

And it felt like some of the dust of her life fell to the ground.