A MOTHER'S GIFT

It was the night of what would have been my mother’s 55^th birthday and I was in my kitchen washing dishes crying my eyes out that she wasn’t here to celebrate. I could no longer call her or hear her voice wishing me a Happy Birthday as my birthday is 4 days before hers. My heart was aching and I could not find any relief from the pain. Only to bow my head and sob uncontrollably.

Mom was so full of life that even in her sickest days, she would say to us never give up hope. She had a smile that would go for days and to look at her you couldn’t help but smile with her. Her eyes were bright and twinkled like a star in the night sky when she laughed. She had child-like qualities, almost an innocence, about her that drew many to her. She always had a kind word and tried to help anyone she could. Her life wasn’t always easy nor pleasant, but her faith never waivered thinking good things were to come.

Mom suffered from migraines since she was a child and we kids never fully grasped how much she suffered from the pain and didn’t understand when she came from the many ER visits why she had to be put to bed for a couple of days. When one came on, she would be in a very dark room as any type of light would seem to make the pain worse, she would moan so loud that it was scary to hear.  After getting home from the hospital we did find it quite amusing with her all smiles and laughing, at times, and talking up a storm. We had no clue other than could hear our dad and aunt saying they gave her a couple of shots and she should be better in a couple of days. Looking back now as an adult, bless her for what she went through.

Growing up, I, also, had headaches but kept them to myself, and at times, it was not easy. As years went by, marriage and having children along with a demanding job the headaches were coming more often and getting to the point of being debilitating. One night, my sister came over to make dinner for my girls until their dad got home from work as I was having an episode. She looked in on me from time to time as I lay rolling around and moaning with pain. That excruciating pain and the sick feeling made you pray for death. The pounding in my head was like a hammer hitting a nail and with each hit, drove it deeper into my skull. Any noise would seem to make it worse as it was ramped up a thousand times over and any light felt like bright beams from the sun and would trigger nausea. Don’t throw up, it would be a fate worse than death. How I suffered. When my husband got home, my sister told him I had to go to a doctor, she had not seen me like this, ever. He carried me to the first clinic he found and I was diagnosed with migraines and was given a couple of shots. Now I understood the “feel good” mode my mother had after those shots. You could have cut my hand off and I wouldn’t have cared. But of course, like my mother, I was out of it for a couple of days. After seeing a neurologist and my family physician, I finally found a medication that helped minimize the length and pain of a migraine attack.

As mom grew sicker and we knew time was drawing near for her to leave this earth, my family and I made a weekend visit from Texas to see her for Mother’s Day. We got there and she didn’t recognize me, at first, because of my short hair but she loved the old ring I found for her. As my little sister and I watched over her while the nurses came in and out, I began having a bad headache. I told mom that my head was hurting and I didn’t have my medication with me and I needed to go for a while. She looked up and told me how sorry she was that I was having migraines as she had all her life and that if she could take or make them go away, she would. I looked down at her and told her it was okay and that I understood. I left but was summoned back later that evening as mom had taken a turn for the worse and was being transported to the hospital. That would be her final destination.

Not only was I heartbroken over the death of my mother a few months before, but I was also heartbroken over the loss of my marriage. I knew it was over right after we made our move back east. The pain was unbearable for me. I failed as a wife and felt I was failing my children being a mother. I was in a heartbreak city with no exit sign in sight. But, that night as I was standing in the kitchen in my despair, a calm came over me and as I felt something or someone touches my shoulder. I knew it was my mother, I could almost see her and I gave a slight smile through my tears and said Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you. The tears stopped and there was a calmness, I hadn’t felt in a long while.

It had been about 6 months or so since that heavenly visit from my mother and one day, I had a doctor’s visit for a check-up, she asked me about my migraine meds and I told her, it’s funny, I had not taken any in months, I have not even had a headache. This was a surprise to my doctor as she didn’t understand why after all the times, I have come in needing a refill on the prescription.

I was just as baffled as my doctor. I didn’t need or had taken any medication for a long while then it came to me; the night in my kitchen, sobbing uncontrollably and a gentle touch on my shoulder was my mother. Through the most heartbreaking time of my life, something wonderful and unexpected happened, my migraines were gone. Thank you, mom, for your gift and the love you have even in death. It’s been over 20 years and no migraines, but I do have the occasional sinus or stress headache.