The wolf who cried in spring

The warm spring air held sweet tones of flowers and ripened fruit bringing in the changing of the seasons. Young John thought he was too small to reach any of those sweet fruit hanging in trees or those flowers high on the vines. Sometimes you have to experience something sour before you can appreciate something sweet. Just like the small candy John struggled to enjoy as the pits of his mouth stung with an intense tang. His vision of the spring sun blurred as his eyes were nearly held shut from the strain. Just when he thought he wasn’t going to be able to take it anymore the sugary center started to ease his tongue bit by bit. His sinuses opened up like he was smelling the dried grass, wildflowers and hints of smokey BBQ for the first time. His vision brought back in the lush park in surrounded by a tree line leading out to a creek. The chirps and wines of bugs celebrating the spring sang out in the trees as children cackled over 80’s R&B jams. There were adults walking with party supplies as the hordes of children chased each other with their tongues out, showing the different colors from the candy. John sat alone at the far end of the park picnic table where a few women were chatting. He was so small that they barely even noticed him there. His fingers worked around the holes of the coated metal park table-bench combo as he tried to look at his own tongue. He could barely see past his own nose, turning his head to see if one eye would see better than the other.

“It’s blue.” A large man said while holding a tray of hot dogs and hamburgers. John looked down at his feet and kicked them under the space between the bench and dirt until his shoe scraps. “You remember me, don’t you? I’m your grandma Lilly’s nephew, your cousin Archie.” John looked up and nodded, then back down at his feet. Archie looked around for a moment until he saw the other kids playing near the tree line. “Why aren’t you playing with your cousins?” He asked as he sat the tray on the tabletop. James continued to look down and shrugged. The truth was they had invited him over earlier even gave him some candy, but he stuck close to his mama. Archie shook his head and then whistled signaling one of his children over, who snapped to attention like a soldier. He was a boy a little bit older than James covered in dirt with one large freshly grown in front tooth.

“What?” The boy said, until Archie raised his eyebrow. “What’s up sir?” He corrected himself.

“AJ, why aren’t you playing with your cousin?” Archie Jr. Looked around his father at John and then shrugged. “Y’all are definitely related.” Archie chuckled. “Take him over there with you and bring him back in one piece.” John’s eyes lit up a little, but AJ just waved him over.

“Come on then.” The young boy said to John. Archie nodded and John hopped down from the bench, to follow his cousin. He looked back for his mother, but she wasn’t anywhere to be found. She told him she would be right back but that was hours ago. “Hey, hurry up.” AJ said as John lagged behind a bit.

“Hey and don’t go off too far we are going to eat soon.” Archie said holding the tongs up in the air.

“Yes sir!” AJ gave a salute as he briskly walked with John to the other kids. There were two others, a sturdy boy with a flat top and a taller girl with two braids. The girl had a football in her hand and teased the sturdy boy by waving at his face, only for her to snatch it away.

“Too slow lemon head boy.” She said to another kid twice her size.

“Whatever Nikki, it’s because you’re 20ft tall like a giraffe!” The boy said, swiping at her.

“Shut up Horace. Better to be a giraffe than a donkey.” Horace looked at her squinting his eyes as she smirked.

“Hey! You wanted to call me an a--.” He was cut off by AJ walked up with John. “Hey, who is that?”

“Oh, this is Aunt Lilly’s son I think.”

“Aunt Lilly is his grandma stupid.” Nikki replied.

“Lee is your momma? Y’all live in Atlanta, right?” Horace asked. John was having a sensory overload with the heat, the other children yelling, and the bugs whining in the trees. He slowly nodded his head. They all looked at each other. “You can’t talk or something?” Horace asked bluntly. John shook his head.

“Maybe he just doesn’t speak donkey…he haw! He haw!” Nikki responded making John laugh.

“Momma, Grandma, Auntie, it doesn’t matter let’s play.” AJ replied and grabbed the football. He threw the ball to John who caught the ball instinctively. He was so happy that he caught, he didn’t know what to do next. As he was looking at the ball, he saw the top of a flat top headed right for his stomach and the next thing he saw was the clouds above him. Everything stopped for a moment and his little chest forced all the air of it in a gasp. Horace stood up feeling victorious as he hadn’t been able to catch anyone all day. Nikki came over and punched him on the shoulder as John gasped again with a groan. He started to sniffle as the other children stood over him.

“You really are an ass, Horace.” AJ said, looking over to make sure his father wasn’t watching.

“Is he okay?” Nikki asked but James was going through it. He was struggling to breathe; bugs were flying around his face and the grass was stinging his skin. He could feel the tears welling up, but something caught his eye emerging from the tree line. It was a dark moving shadow about the size of a large dog or a wolf. It looked right at him with a glaze to strike fear into his soul. AJ helped him up to a sitting position and dusted him off. The shadow wolf’s mouth moved.

“You better not cry.” The voice said as James tried to stifle his pain. The voice was familiar to him but also distorted with the sound of bugs screaming. None of the other kids heard it or even noticed anything behind them. The air finally returned to James’s lungs through a big gasp and his cousin AJ helped him sit up.

“I…I” James sniffled in a voice so low it sounded like a whisper; tears began to drop on his jeans making a taping sound as he gripped at his knees.

“What kind of boy cries all the time Linda?” The shadowy figure said before disappearing into a swarm of gnats. At least his cousins hadn’t started chanting cry baby, like the kids in school but he knew what they were thinking.

Some other kids came over to play while James was barely able to keep it together. His chest heaving as Nikki rubbed his back. AJ shook his head and then looked at the other group of kids.

“Hey, let’s play. We have enough for teams.”

“Y’all are one person short.” One of the kids said. AJ looked back at James.

“Don’t worry, Horace is like two people.” Horace rubbed the back of his head and then looked at James.

“My bad.” Horace said to his little cousin before heading towards the other kids.

“Where is your momma at?” Nikki asked

“She…” John’s lip quivered but he sucked it up as best as he could.

“Come on Nikki!” AJ said not wanting to miss out on any more fun before eating.

“We’ll be back.” Nikki said as she joined the other two. James sat there and took a deep breath, before wiping his face again. He wished his grandma Lilly was there as he sat looking at the green grass stains on his knees. As he held his head down a bright yellow butterfly floated underneath him until it landed on the backside of his hand. At first, he jumped until he realized it wasn’t going to bite him. He lifted the hand up towards his face and watched the butterfly slowly moves its wings, before flying off towards a hole in the bushes. The hole was just big enough for him to fit through and seemed to be formed like an archway.

John wiped his eyes and shook his head. He was sure that he heard music coming from the hole in the bushes, but it didn’t sound like anything he had ever heard before. Looking around for a bit he crawled a little closer to the hole and an aroma of of something sweet smelling hit his nose. It was like a mixture of all the flowers his grandma Lilly had in her yard. His eyes were still a little blurry from the tears, but he noticed it was getting darker the further he went in. Something flickered above him and when he looked up there were lightning bugs floating like stars. He almost fell backwards looking at all of them until they started to blink towards the end of the tunnel. They acted as guides pulling him towards something hanging at the end of the clearing. That was the source of the smell, something he had only heard described to him before. A vine of yellow and white budded flowers lined the exit to the clearing, while one bud stuck out much larger than the others. His grandmother had always talked about picking honeysuckles when she was little. She even explained how he would be able to get the sweet part out of the flower. It was bright yellow and glowed with a vibrancy like the sun. He grabbed it and it popped right off into his hand.

“Pinch the bottom and carefully pull the stem through until there is a bead of honey on it.” He heard as he looked at the golden nectar reflecting lightning bug orbs in it. John smiled and tasted a sweetness that went into his very core, firing off on every nerve ending in his body. John still stuck in a sugar filled daze he walked out into the clearing of the tunnel and saw a band playing in the distance. He walked closer listening to the odd sounds coming out of the instruments. As he got closer his face nearly hit the floor when he realized what was going on. There were animals playing instruments made of nature. A beaver slammed his tail over a wooden drum, a duck blew its beak into a trumpet made of leaves and twigs, a group of woodpeckers tapped on a tree to help the beaver keep a beat, and a group of birds sang on the stage. What was even stranger was they were the same size as him. Either he had shrunk, or these animals were giants. He bumped into one of the crowd members a porcupine.

“Ow!” John yelled loud enough to be heard of the music. He rubbed his arm and looked at his hands.

“Oh, sorry about that friend.” The porcupine said as John looked down at his hand. It was covered in fur and so was arms. He touched his newly discovered paws to his face and found that it was furry, with whiskers.

“Oh no!” John ran over to the stream near the natural amphitheater and looked down to see a wolf cubs face looking at him. He looked for the entrance to the tunnel, but it was if it had vanished as soon as he walked through. He instinctively howled out in a cry. The other animals looked worried and stopped the music to come rushing over.

“Whoa hey, you have to stop that. Don’t want your pack to come rough us up.” The porcupine said. John sniffled and looked at his wavy reflection.

“What?” John asked.

“Do you guys travel in packs?” The duck trumpeter asked nervously.

“No…I’m alone.” John nearly whispered. A blue jay broke through the crowd and gracefully walked towards them. She stuck her wing under his chin and lifted it up.

“Oh sweetie. A wolf cub without a pack is a sad thing.”

“I’m not a wolf. I’m a little boy, a human boy.” John sniffled.

“What’s the difference? He he he.” The porcupine chuckled only to get poked by the duck’s trumpet. “Ow, sorry.” 

“How did you get here?” The blue jay asked.

“I saw a butterfly and then it led me to a tunnel. I ate a honeysuckle and…”

“Ooooooh.” The animals all said in unison.

“Isn’t that how you got here Denny?” The beaver asked the Denny the duck.

“I don’t recall a honey suckle, might have been some bread.” Denny replied. “Hey wolf cub, got any bread?” John shook his head a little confused but amused at the same time.

“It wasn’t a butterfly; it was a fairy. They do that sometimes, but only for a reason.” Gladys said.

“I was really sad, and I heard the music. So, I thought it was better in here.” The wind fell a little from their sales until Gladys snapped her fingers to create a rhythm.

“Things were sour but now they’re sweet. Happiness comes when you move your feet.” She sang. John looked at his feet paws and smirked. They started tapping while the other animals began to play along.

“Why don’t you come sing with me?”

“I... I... can’t sing.”

“Sure, you can. With that howl I heard earlier I know you have the pipes.” Gladys said.

“Yeah, it was a clean note for sure.” Denny chimed in.

“That was just me crying. I’m not supposed to cry.” John said as he gripped the sides of his pants.

“Oh, you poor thing. No pack and your voice stolen away.” She grabbed him and directed him away from the water. He looked over his shoulder to see the shadowy wolf fading into the bush. “Crying is just singing with direction and wolves do it beautifully.” She placed him in front of the pinecone microphone.

“Those feelings you feel when you want to burst out and cry. The ones that make you feel like you’re going to be weak. Those feelings can make you strong, you just need to direct them.” John took a breath but felt nothing but sadness. He gripped his paw and started to sing when a dark distorted howl ripped through the air.

A dark howl ripped across the field as the shadow wolf started to walk out towards the animals. The wind started to blow causing the duck to hold down his little hat. It looked directly at John and smiled.

“I’m scared.” John whispered. Gladys looked at the shadow wolf and frowned. The sky became dense and with it a toxic smell flooded the air.

“That’s right, cry.” The wolf laughed and blew more toxic fumes at them, but Gladys flapped her wings keeping it at bay.

“Use that fear. When it makes you feel small and weak, let it make you grow big and strong.” John closed his eyes and felt that he had been missing something this entire time. John opened his eyes when he realized that Gladys sounded just like his grandma Lilly. He smiled and puffed his chest letting out a mighty howl. Tears came out but didn’t fall, they went upwards towards the sky and so did the shadow the dark wolf. John continued to howl until the force started to blow away the shadow which exploded into a bunch of gnats and dispersed. John looked down and he was back to normal, all of the other animals were just normal looking animal in a field. On the other side of the tree line, he heard his name being screamed. He burst through and found his mother looking frantic as Archie tried to keep her calm. AJ pointed.

“There he is!” This time it was his mother who was crying. She leaned down to check and see if he was okay, but something caught her eye, group of animals peeking from the bushes behind him.

A blue jay landed on his shoulder and sang shocking everyone. What was even more shocking was John matching notes beautifully, like a wolf crying in spring.