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Funny

“Who was the guy who invented evolution?” Eve mumbled while taking off her coat.

Jacob looked at her in despair. She caught his glare and started apologizing, “I know, I should watch more Discovery Chanel. My brain is all mushy.”

He shakes his head, “Or read a book. And your brain is mushy because it’s full of kittens. You are way too much on social media just binge scrolling pictures of these fluffy devils.”

“They are no devils,” she laughs, “they are adorable angels.”

They continued walking up the stairs. Both were mesmerized by the museum’s interior. Smooth marble tiles, shining ornaments on the ceiling, colorful paintings and life-like statues. The building was at least seven hundred years old and looked from the inside an even more majestical tower of knowledge, as from the outside. 

“We should start with the ‘Big Bang’ in the second floor and continue to ‘Anatomy of homo sapiens’ in the fourth floor,” Jacob stated.

Eve nodded, “It’s always good to start with a bang.”

He seriously wandered if she knew what Big Bang theory means, but was too afraid of the answer so he refused to ask. Maybe this was not a good idea and they should have stayed at her apartment, as they always did. Maybe watching Ross explaining Rachel how they were on a break for the fifth time, does not seem so horrible anymore. At least he could look at her naked body lying next to his. Maybe that is the only anatomy he needs to see.

She noticed his aggravation. His intellect was something she was attracted to, but his snobbishness was something she did not observe before. Maybe they should have stayed at her place and order pizza or something. Tonight is the ‘The One with the Cat’ episode.

“Where are the toilets?” she asked while starring at the picture of Recombination.

“By the stairs. We went pass them. I can show you if you want,” Jacob added in hopes that she will go alone.

“No need,” she smiled, “I am a big girl, I can go by myself. You keep up your discovery of space and I'll catch up with you at the body part.” She really needed a smoke.

***

By the toilets was the entry to the terrace. Group of people was mumbling in a circle and the moment Eve lighted the cigarette they all looked at her. She freezes for a second. A young, nicely combed guy came up to her and started chatting.

“How do you like the exhibition?” he inquired.

“Oh well, I don’t know. Much Bang about nothing,” she replied and immediately regretted the foolish joke. To her surprise, he chuckles.

“I agree. Certain features of the universe and of living things are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as a bang or natural selection,” he replied.

Finally, somebody that does not snark and makes her feel stupid. “Yeah, and survival of the fittest and all that,” she nodded. “I mean baby sharks eat their siblings in the womb and only the strongest even get born. Nature is so cruel.”

“It can be. But it also has a divine beauty, don’t you think?”

“Yeah, I mean…,” she faltered.

“I find complex biological structures, specified information content in DNA, the life-sustaining physical architecture of the universe, and the geologically rapid origin of biological diversity extremely beautiful,” he orated and looked her directly in the eyes.

“Sure.”

“Looked at the universe as a machine. Machines did not just pop up some day, somebody had to design them. Therefore, the universe as a whole has an intelligent designer,” he continued. “We are a group of people who want to determine whether various natural structures are the product of chance, natural law, intelligent design, or some combination thereof. And the scientific community does not recognize us as real science. They do not allow us to teach our theory in public schools. They want to silence us.”

“That is horrible,” she hissed. “I know how intellectuals can be bunch of snobbish pricks.”

“Will you join us in the effort to make our voices heard? We will do a sit-in and we need every support we can get,” he smiled with his kind green eyes.

“Of course,” she smiled back. “Nobody puts theory in the corner!”

***

Jacob was completely enthralled by the life-size replica of first homo sapiens. He was comparing himself to him, the height, the posture, the hair. How we evolved as species.

“You don’t look nothing like him,” he heard a screechy voice behind him. He turned around and saw a small woman with green hair.

“Oh, hm…,” he murmured. “He had way more strength and endurance than I do.”

“You think being a man means to be physically strong?” she mused.

“No,” he squeaked. “Just that now, because of the modern lifestyle, we are not as physically active anymore and therefore not as fit as they were.”

“They also had rigorous gender roles, a totalitarian patriarchy, the main and oldest oppression system,” she looked at the replica with disdain.

“Yes, well luckily we live in a civil society now and women are no longer second-class citizens,” he boasted and waited for her appreciation. He did not get it.

“Women need to be aware about the subordinate position they still occupy in society. If someone identifies as ‘being woman’ as something inherent, they identify themselves as ‘being a slave’, femininity,” she trumpeted. “And that was imposed by the oppressor.”

He was baffled by her statement and spellbound by her conviction. Finally, someone to have a cerebral, challenging conversation with. “One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman,” he added.

“Exactly! And I refuse to be a slave!” she boomed. “We must dismantle the patriarchy, where men enjoy privileges, have greater economic power and are responsible for defining what means to be a woman. Gender cannot be defined. It is a spectrum!”

“As one of the great women leaders said – ‘I believe the rights of women and girls is the unfinished business of the 21st Century’.”

“It is refreshing to meet a cisgender white straight male with an open mind,” she smiled. “Some fellow same minded people are here to protest against curator of the exhibition. We will not be silenced anymore!”

“Of course! What happened?”

“He is a sexist, transphobic pig!” she whined.

“How horrible,” he sighs with confusion. “May I ask what did he do?”

She looked at him almost disappointed. “He said only men have Adam’s apple.”

“Oh…”

“You don’t know that Adam’s apple is just a patriarchy term for larynx? We all have it and with some people it grows bigger and some smaller. The whole term, Adam’s apple, I cannot even say it without feeling sick, it’s just wrong,” she shivered. “Science was supposed to be neutral world, but in reality, it’s a minefield of male-centered bias. It’s biological determinism at it’s best. There are absolutely NO difference between men or women, the only reason why there are differences it’s because of social construct.”

“If reality exists as the summation of social perceptions and expression, then that is the reality which is perceived and the only reality worth consideration,” he bloviated.

“If?”

“Yeah, well, hm… There is no autonomy of the individual. Biological differences do not affect us. We are all born as a blank slate and the knowledge and meaning that we generate is exclusively a collective effort and construct,” he recited.

“Good. We are having a sit-in to cancel Adam’s Apple and from now on it can only be referred to as non-binary larynx malus!” Suddenly there was a strange sound coming from a group of people nearby. They were clicking with their fingers. “I hope you will join us in our cause,” another woman came to him. She handed him a T-shirt with a picture of a crossed apple on it.

He took it and nodded, “It is my honor and responsibility to so stand against oppression.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


February 12, 2021 23:23

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1 comment

21:15 Feb 17, 2021

Ha! Fun reversal. I liked it, though it took a few tries to get through the bloviations.

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