Red or Black

Today was just an ordinary day again. Though ordinary usually does tend to change rather quickly. Doesn’t it? Thomas was running a few minutes late that morning after another late night and restless sleep. He never could seem to catch up in life. He had a meeting for work today. And as he rushed into the building, his hair springing up and sweat beading on his forehead, he wondered if this new client would be an utter nightmare to work with or forgiving for his running behind. Thomas composed himself before opening the door to the conference room. Instantly, the client looked up meeting his eyes only and not taking in is appearance. “Sorry for the delay. The traffic on the way here was unbelievable, but I can extend our meeting time to compensate.”

The man smiled endearingly at him comforting Thomas’ anxiety. “No worries, we have all the time we will need.” The man’s voice was melodic and wistful. He spoke as if every syllable held meaning and that if you listened long enough moments would last forever.

 Thomas was thrust into reality as the man nodded to his briefcase. “Oh, yes. We are meeting today to discuss the future of our two brands and the merging going forward. I know that you previously sent a few concerns through email, so I will address those first.” Thomas put his briefcase on the table where the man sat so intently and at ease. The man silently smiled again as he undid the latches. Thomas soon realized none of his materials were contained in the briefcase. He gasped. The man just laid his head on his arm that was draped casually on the table and smiled once again at Thomas. Surrounded by a cushion of cream velvet lay two buttons, one black and one red. “I-I’m so sorry. I have no idea whose briefcase this is. I’ll just-”

“It’s mine. Like I said no worries,” he sung lowly, adoringly still staring at Thomas. “Confused?” All Thomas could do was stare mind racing, but still gathered in the man’s comforting aura. “I called this meeting, so that I could meet you, Thomas. And task you with a very important decision.”  The man stood showing that he was taller than expected, but as he moved his image shifted continuously. Thomas had been certain he had blonde hair, but now it looked brown. A second later, it was black then red. His eyes shifted with the colors of a painter’s palette. His stature moving through phases as his features changed a million times making Thomas wonder if the person before him had any gender at all. He hadn’t any time to think more as the man was before him placing a hand on his shoulder. “Are you alright, Thomas?”

“I-I am…maybe…I,” Thomas stopped. “When did I tell you my name?” This feeling, this person, this moment. Everything seemed so foreboding, but all Thomas felt was calm.

“Oh, Thomas, I was the one who gave you such a name. How could I not know your name?” The man smoothed Thomas’ hair. In normal circumstances, Thomas might have been uncomfortable though this person exuded nothing but comfort. “Do you know me Thomas?” 

He had known for sure that he had never met this man in his life, but the familiarity of him wrapped around his very being. Maybe he was dreaming and had never woken up to make it to the meeting. Maybe he was having an episode, a mental breakdown from all the stress he had been under. Thomas had no idea what was going on, but he knew this wasn’t normal. The man just enveloped him in a hug melting every muscle in his body. “This must be hard for you. I tried to come to you in a way that wouldn’t seem too unnatural, but clearly, I am just not that great at sugar coating. Sit down Thomas. I have a question for you.” Thomas was following the man’s commands before he even had time to connect the request to his brain. 

“I have watched over you and everything in this universe since the day it was created. No, the day I created it. You have followed me, though loosely I might add,” the man chuckled, his laughter bringing adoration to Thomas’ heart. “I know everything about you and what motivates you. I see all you do and nudge you in the right direction.” Realization fell with a resounding thud in Thomas’ gut. Shock written on his face as the man’s smile became almost blinding with pure happiness. “Aha, I knew you would know me.”

“But…how? You…you. Wait, why show yourself to me?”

“Well, Thomas I have a proposition for you,” he enthusiastically sat down beside him. 

“Yes God, anything you ask. Just tell me!” Thomas had been religious when he was younger but had never taken it very seriously until this moment. He had no idea why God would choose to visit him, even though Thomas had always tried to be a good person. He had never harmed anyone and did his best to help others. 

“Blind faith as always,” God smiled. “Alright, then let’s begin.” He pulled the briefcase in front of them. “As I said, this is mine. These two buttons represent the choices I am about to present to you. The black button if chosen will get rid of any person in the world who causes harm on others and guarantee a better although uncertain future for some. Ultimately, you will kill all those people. The red will stop that from happening, but everything and everyone will continue through the path they have chosen ultimately leading to destruction of everything. I want you to choose what to do.” Thomas was taken aback. Why should he choose the fate of everything? He was not important or even the most benevolent person in the world. He felt that this was not something he should be qualified for. “You are qualified, or I never would have called this meeting.” All his thoughts halted as he realized, of course, God could tell what Thomas had been thinking. 

“Well, it is a sin to kill another, but they do wish harm on others. So, would it be justified? You said the world will get better after they are gone.”

“For some…mostly.”

“The red button means destruction of everything. Of course, the choice isn’t easy. Though for the greater good, the black button is the right decision. There is no other option if the world would be a better place,” Thomas spoke with certainty and conviction. 

“Is that your choice?” God inquisitively looked into his eyes. “Would you like more information?” Without waiting for a response, God snaked a hand behind Thomas’ head and forced him to look into his kaleidoscope eyes. Thomas felt as if he had been ripped into a hurricane as his head began to spin. He saw the world. He saw the deeds all humans commit. He saw brutal killing of people, of animals, of all living things. He saw torture, and he saw pain inflicted on one by their own hands. He felt every emotion capable in the world, where he felt the warmth and coldness of love, hatred, ignorance, bliss. Thomas saw a wife planning to harm her husband for hurting her and her children, and he saw the husband being abused as a child. He saw deeds, and he saw reasons. He saw forgiveness and true cruelty. Thomas felt as if a fire was raging in him. With just one more spark, he would explode as he saw a girl raise a rock to harm a helpless animal. 

“Stop!” Thomas fell back into his chair toppling it over like a domino as he clawed his way away from God. He was cold and angry and filled with hope all at once.

“Would you like to think of your decision longer?” God spoke soothingly as he knelt whipping the sweat from Thomas’ forehead like a mother comforting a wailing child. “I’m sorry to submit you to that, but you must know what lies behind your decision. When you choose to kill those who wish harm, there are no exceptions. The ones who harm in self-defense, the ones who have no other choice, and the ones who are only just beginning to know right from wrong will be the same as the malicious and corrupted. You choose to take mothers from families, children from parents and take happiness along with lives. The consequence of the black button is ultimately the same as the red button. You have no idea who will suffer if only it could just make things a little better than some.” God spoke to Thomas not in an accusatory tone, but in one that held Thomas assuring him everything will be okay. He cupped his face and smoothed his hair. “But still you must choose.”

“After everything you have shown me, after all that, how can I even begin to choose? What can I even do? If I can’t make the world better?” Thomas was frantic jumping to his feet running a shaky hand through his hair. 

“You choose what is best.” 

“Then…” Thomas sat in silence for what felt like forever pondering. God did not rush, or question. Just letting him come to his own conclusion. “Then I still choose the black button.” God smiled quietly. 

“Okay. Let me give you another decision, Tommy.” God walked around the table. As he did, the air seemed to thicken, and the comfort Thomas felt poured from his body. God’s smile slowly became twisted as if someone tried to paint it permanently on him. He looked at Thomas fondly. A bone-crushing pain coursed through Thomas as he fell to his knees. He sucked in air, but it all seemed to dance through his lungs fleetingly before returning. He could barely think or breath. His mind swirled as light and darkness danced seductively in front of his eyes. The pain ebbed in waves before returning with a tantalizing rage and cruelty.

“The black button will save your life. The red button will save the world.” God’s voice was still so full of life and love but laced with terror. Thomas couldn’t comprehend this change of events. He felt blood pooling on his lip from his nose. He wrestled with the weight of his head as he tried to look up at God.

“Why?” he whispered. God walked over and sat in front of him like a child waiting for a story. With his sturdy hands, he whipped the blood from his face. 

“There is no reason. It is just to be fair,” he paused. “Do you remember his eyes?” 

“Yes,” Thomas spoke out with no hesitation blood pouring from his mouth splattering on God’s cheek. He had never forgotten his eyes. His young eyes filled with sadness as the kids in middle school treated him so unkindly. No one did anything to help. Not Thomas, not anyone. He wondered what life he would have lived if someone had stepped in to help the child. 

“Your indifference caused him harm. Your indifference will continue to cause others harm, and you chose the black button.” He ran blood-stained thumbs under Thomas’ eyes collecting his tears. “What all my children have failed to realize as they search for the truths of the world is that I have already given you the truths of the world. You’ve always had them. You just ignore them. I am not only God. I am everything that exists in this universe. I live in you and every person no matter their sins. I am vengeance. I am mercy. I am all good and all evil, god and satan. I am love and hatred. I exist in absolutely every moment. The demons that humans fear is yourselves, and the angels you so revere are also yourselves. You are disasters, and you are miracles. And I am everything you praise and everything you fear. Though, you have all forgotten that. You have created your religions and races and countries. You do everything in your power to snuff me out of the world. However, I am also your beginning and your end.” Thomas felt overwhelming terror as he gazed at the being in front of him as the pain pulsed through him making him weak. That awful smile was back. “It is time to choose, Tommy. Red or black.”

Thomas felt as if a blade had sliced through his open chest as he coughed up more blood onto the pearl floor. With a trembling body and wheezing breath, Thomas lifted his hand and pressed the button. 

Later, God stood whipping the lovely ruby colored liquid from his hands and cheek. He looked up with pale eyes staring out the window. He sighed. 

“My children always think they know best. It’s time I make them more responsible.”