Engagement

We all know the power of books. Well i heard that too.

It was a weekend and really it was a Weak end.

I always wanted some fantasies in my life but it never came in. I am lifted up everyday and fall on my bed every night just like a dead man. 

Rosy (my mistress) usually being friendly to me but i never been at ease by life. Life bounce backs is just a quote for me. 

It's a series of continuous starving and failure that took over all my courage and enthusiasm. I am no longer feeling like human too. All my friends grown up and everyone seems changed even i am changed no more fun and excitement about anything in my life. 

It was till one day when i was crossing the street and was looking at the shops and thinking about my life. It's lousy, hectic, awful and lifeless. 

I am left with fake smiles. Work load and weekend travels from my regional office to headquarters which is out of my town it takes around 5 to 7 hours by the train and i just have to give them all the reports and then i return on the same day. 

Haa, its boring life. 

I wanna do something and really want a change but i know its merely just a dream of old man. 

I wanna be old. Yea OLD the idea from which so many people afraid off. 

Atleast i will be able to walk and rest and eat for the sake of it. I never wanted a long life instead i wanna a happy life. Living alone without anyone from years trust me i was not like that but time made me like that.

Again a weekend and i was passing by the street thinking what if my mother was here it might be better i use to talk with her and may get so many well cooked dishes and daily excitement of my life will have some spices but its not possible yet. 

She's a Social worker and is really busy with helping people out well we chat sometimes often in week but still. In that i noticed a new corner is changed around the street and realized that i skipped my street but then On close look i found there is a library and its entrance is so small and appears little dark hidden between two though big buildings that it appears so hidden.

I didn't even remember when was the last time i visited to the library or read something except my office files.

I entered hesitantly and looked towards it and my eyes was stuck on such big book shelves and these many books and books all around. I was lost for a moment and felt like the place is so silent but because of these books there is so much life flowing all around even this low light room that is coming from a window at some about 10 feet above the ground.

It appears that the light is coming from the heaven and making this place alive.

In that a girl wearing beautiful blue dress came down from a wooden stairs in that light and asked me. Do you wanna read a book?

I replied Yes.

Then she started walking and i started moving after her. She said you are looking here and there from a long i think you hardly visit libraries. 

I replied on that i dont get time to read books and visit anywhere i am so busy all the week.

She handed me a book and said i think this is perfect for you. 

On the first look i found myself in confusion but i agreed upon the book. She stamped that book and told me to return this book in 1 week.

I came out of that library and i am holding this book and am smiling at myself i said looking at the book i dont think i will ever be able to read you.

Hmm...

Let's go.

I packed my bag and gone to headquarters. Work is finished and i am back to normal office routine and it was really very hectic day this week with couple of meetings and new project and lots of work load.

Well anyway the weekend came and i again took my stuff and prepared the papers that i hand to the headquarters. Suddenly i noticed that book lying on my desk.

I took that book with me, may be you are lucky enough that i read few of your pages.

And i picked up the train and all these 6 hours of journey i was sleeping out of tiredness.

Finally i reached to the headquarters and handed them the file and all the reports. Then had lunch and took train again. This time i was alone with no work load i was looking out of the window the train started moving from the station and then i saw a guy sitting in front of me reading a magazine and suddenly i realized that i have a book. 

I opened my bag and took that book out.

It was around 200+ Pages and a beautiful black cover. 

When i opened up the book i saw a note. I instantly noticed that the note is written by that girl as i saw her writing when she was registering my name in library records it was so smooth and catchy that anyone can recognize that.

In the NOTE it was written.

This book belongs to you and i am glad you selected this to read. You can relate to this story. And thank me later.

I smiled and turned the first page and the story began like this-

Hey How are you?

I am your life. Just ahead of you. It all started with smile and childhood in mother's lap. Pure love and beauty, playing games and becoming happy out of no reason. Nothing changes until i started going out and the world made faces and changed its masks. 

I also learnt by the time to wear so many masks. IN front of family, friends, teacher and problems..

It's all started consuming my creativity slowly and i started loosing my happiness and my true nature was lost. Not being happy in small things and no play games with my friends and my mom also hopes to protect and make me strong in all those faces outside i need to face. 

The life goes on like these and dreams of building homes in the sky somewhere lost by the time instead the new statement of reality took me over and is demanding me to be terrified about tomorrow, terrified about food, terrify from if's and But's..

It's like i will be happy when something will happen but exactly what is unknown.

As the story progressed i found myself so connected and i was thinking its reality is so true and we loose our everything for something that is not even that valuable.

The moment in the story came and turned life a bit.

(Book) I married with whom i loved and i thought everything will change but seriously nothing changed it was just like i put one more mask now.

Moreover this is better then many things that happen but still this un-fulfillment was killing me. Daily schedule and machine like job and just having all those fake smiles and masks in front of different people. 

I don't know even many things and not even any holiday is taking me out from this sad sink of dark inside of me that truly is killing me in installments.

I lost my smile and happiness and i surrendered life and by this way time ran away now i am 50 years. 

Slowly just like an old tree i gathered so many things my family and everything but still the point of life is completely unclear and i am lost. I tried to love and live my life but these corruption of my illusions killed all possibilities. 

And now i just feel like irritated and old. Now by the time few more years passed by. I gathered money, family and name. But still unsatisfied because in gathering all these i never lived these all the things.

May be people around me are happy with resources i gathered. But i didn't even seem them changing their lives as i always been in lack of time. The spare time i get usually spent in illness or resting alone.

I am alone even after everything that i gathered.

(ME) I was actually living that long life but still in pain and tears came out of my eyes. I wanted to know what's next.

It was like my own story going to be.

(Book) Now i am 80 years lying on bed most of the times. In my big villa and with all my money but nothing more then just concrete of my house. I am not dead but already death came to me installments in all these years. I am very sad.

(Me) I was whispering and imagine my life ending like this. I was dying everyday. Without living may be functioning but nothing less then dead machine.

The Next line actually helped me to hold.  

(Book)

But you Can Change that. You're not here yet. So how many years you wanna live doesn't matter. Make good relationships and thanks to that librarian who handed you this book. Otherwise you might be ended like this.

Trust me start living moments of today your tomorrow will never be like me.

Me: I was just lost and actually never thought like this that a book such deep can let me live entire lifetime. 

Train reached it's destination.

I came out. And turned the last page of the book. 

It was a note: Your life is not end yet. Now write your life from this page.

The end.

Me: I was amazed and suddenly felt some kind of energy and Wanted to live my life from this very moment with no kind of regrets and no future tensions. Living every moments.

It was like i already lived a complete life by adapting the journey of that book. And my new life just started now i want to talk and feel and make someone laugh, go out and hang out. Help someone and be like real Human Being. 

This realization that how valuable this life is and what we are left at the end if we don't live now and die in installments. You can live happily and full fledged life. 

Suddenly i realized that today is the last day to return the book. 

I rushed towards the library as it's already too late. I was thinking i might not make it on time. I really wanted to start life on right time from now. So i travelled and ran. And just been on time.

But when i saw the library was closed. I felt bad and turned back in that a hand patted me on my back and i turned.

She was the same girl i met in the library and i said i am sorry i could not make it on time. She smiled and said No. You just been on time.

She noticed the book in my hands and said Oh so you read this book.

I said i lived this book. It is so beautiful and eye opening. And thanks to you who gave me this book to read. 

I read your note in the book. How did you knew that i will read this book.

She replied simple if you didn't you have not came on time to return this book. Have you read the title of this book? 

I suddenly noticed that i didn't!

She found my cluelessness and said look it's inside this black cover "Engagement"

It helps anyone who is troubled with life in realizing that how small and beautiful life is so we must not waste our times. And live a full life with happiness and make friends and smile.

It made many people smile.

I replied her with a smile and returned the book. She said take this one. I just finished reading this book. 

I read it's title "Marriage"

I smiled and asked her for coffee. 

And i made my first friend after these all long years unmasked. It made me happy.