Rittannya's Swipe Right into Hell

Tattler Tells All: Rittannya’s Swipe Right into Hell

Who would have thought a Hollywood starlet the ranks of Rittannya Richardson would resort to Tinder for a good time? Not us, and not the unsuspecting app user who, after stumbling upon her shadowy profile, is now left devastated after swiping right.

Sources close to the 28-year-old Double Dare front woman and emerging actress confirm Richardson did have a Tinder account profile with an ambiguous photo of herself under an alias. This account allegedly served as a conduit for one-night stands and short-lived trysts. However, details regarding the alias are unconfirmed and the current status of the account is presumed deactivated.

The recent disappearance of the star has been confirmed by New York City police reports.

You heard it here first: On Friday, June 7, at approximately 11pm, Richardson was seen in public leaving the dance club Brooklyn Mirage and entering King’s Hall with bestie Kara Michael, who has denied commenting. From eyewitness and police reports we have gathered the following chain of events:

11:00 pm – Richardson and Michael enter the elite ‘invitation only’ club King’s Hall.

11:05 pm – Both women are seen sipping martinis at the bar while Richardson is engaged on her cell phone.

11:09 pm – Richardson and Michael leave the bar and start dancing among the club goers.

11:30 pm – Michael is seen searching the dance floor, bar, bathrooms, eventually exiting the club and looking around the street, presumably for Richardson. Outside, Michael is seen on her cell phone but seems to have no response and re-enters the club.

Tattler Exclusive: Tinder Buddy Spills Every Juicy Detail

What follows is the account given verbatim by the Tinder app user who met up with Richardson at approximately midnight on the evening in question:

“I saw her profile picture and was intrigued. Usually people use close ups, hers was a sunrise silhouette against a shoreline in black and white. Her two truths and a lie were, ‘I have never been kissed on the neck, I make a mean swordfish pizza, and I am secretly married to Bill Murray.’ She looked like she had a banging body from the pic, so I swiped right.

“She told me to meet her at Starr Playground, a couple blocks away from me, by the swings, so I went. When I got there, she was inside the fence. I asked her how she got in, the gate was chained and locked, and she just winked at me and said, ‘Come and get me.’

“I didn’t realize who she was yet, she had on a hoodie and her face was kind of shadowed. I thought there had to be a pretty easy way in because she had on a super short skirt and platform shoes that didn’t seem like they’d make it over a chain linked fence. I started to walk the perimeter and she walked with me on the inside, shaking her head, saying, ‘Colder, colder.’

“So I did an about face and started walking the other direction. She smiled, still shaking her head, making a ‘nuh-uh, tssk, tssk,’ sound. Her eyes were sparkling in the moonlight, and she was starting to drive me nuts, then I realized who she was. I stopped and said, ‘Hey wait, I know you. Right?’

“She said, ‘Wrong answer,’ turned away from me and started walking deeper into the playground, under the trees.

“I said, ‘Wait! Come back!’

“And that’s when I saw the gap in the fence, just wide enough to slip through, and I did. I ran into the park not knowing where she had gone, then I heard her whistle. I walked over to her sitting in one of the swings. I stood in front of her, grasping both of the chains connected to the swing in my hands. I guess the game made me bolder than I usually am.

“I was looking down at her in the glow of the street lamps and moon and stars. She looked up at me and pushed her hood back and I finally got a good look at her. She was beautiful, amazing, like some kind of punk rock angel.

“Hot,’ she said, smiling up at me, and grabbed my belt buckle with both her hands, touching my skin, and pulled herself forward on the swing and then pushed off of me, backwards, pumping her legs with the swing.

“When she swung back close to me, she said, ‘Hi Carlo*.’

“She swung back away, not taking her eyes off of mine. I didn’t say anything. I think I was mesmerized. When she swung back close again, she said, ‘Nice to meet you.’

“I tried to say, ‘I think I know you,’ but she cut me off with a ‘tsk, tsk,’ and I didn’t bring it up again.

“She said, ‘Carlo, would you please push me?’

“I walked around and pushed her as she swung higher and higher on the swing. After about a minute, when she was as high as the swing could go, she let go of the chains and launched into the air. Her arms flailed for a second but she landed in a perfect super hero crouch, you know, with like one knee down.

‘“Wow,’ I said.

“She stood facing me and beckoned me toward her with a finger. I went. She put a finger to her lips as I was about to talk, so I stopped. She put her hand up to my face, then her body against mine. She pulled me down like to kiss her but she stopped right before I touched her lips with mine, she breathed in and asked, ‘Do you want to climb a tree?’

“I wasn’t going to say no. She took my hand and led me to a tree with some lower branches, stepped out of her shoes, clasped her hands around the lowest branch and then swung her legs up around it. She pulled herself up and offered me a hand. We climbed the tree until we got about halfway. She was ahead of me, and I kept up behind her until I stopped and there she was, sitting on a branch that was almost like a bench. It had a seat branch and a backrest branch and a footrest branch. She motioned for me to sit next to her.  I did. We were very close.

“She said again, ‘Hi Carlo.’

“She was so close her breath tickled my ear. Then she kissed my neck, right under my earlobe. I turned to face her and said, ‘Hi.’

“I didn’t know what else to say. I kissed her on the mouth, and then her neck like she’d done to me, starting behind her ear lobe and making my way down to her collar bone. She was running her hands through my hair, my hands were pulling her against me.

“She whispered, ‘Take your clothes off.’

“We started to pull off our shirts, I kicked off my shoes. We looked at each other and laughed when we realized it would be hard to get my pants off, but she winked and unbuckled my belt, said, ‘lift’, which I did, and then my pants were off. I looked down and there were strewn pieces of clothing all over the ground below us.

“I looked back at her, into her eyes, and she smiled again and straddled me. My butt ground into the branch I was against while she tried to get a good hand hold on the branch behind my back. We kissed and then I was inside of her and suddenly it started to pour. Rain was coming down in sheets, but it didn’t matter, we just kept going. It was so intense, it was like we were being driven together by some invisible force. Then there was a huge crack that seemed like it was on top of our heads, splitting us apart.

“It was the weirdest sensation. We were one and then the ear splitting noise and a bright light and it was like I could see into her, like not just inside her like an x-ray but her whole life, in an instant of a thousand projector slides.

“We were both thrown out of the tree in different directions and when I hit the ground the wind got knocked out of me. When I could breathe again, I got up. The rain had stopped. Nothing was even wet. I was naked and all our clothes were gone. And so was she.

“I don’t know what happened. It almost feels like I made it up. But it was real. It was so real. I went to the police because it didn’t make any sense that she was gone and I was still there. They say she’s still missing. I don’t know what happened. I really don’t.

Noone has seen or heard from Rittannya Richardson since that night. This is a hell of a strange case, even for this wild child. Stay tuned folks, because Rittannya's swipe right into the unknown is about to take us on one hell of a ride.

*Tattler has used an fake name for ‘Carlo’ to protect his identity in this ongoing investigation. As the search for Richardson goes on, NYPD would like any relevant information called into the hotline at 1-800-FIND-RIT.