A HAPPY PLACE

“Where have you been? Where on earth have you been?” my dad shouts as he takes another gulp of the bottle of whiskey. His black hair is roughed up and his eyes were almost red, his clothes were stained with puke and God knows what else.

“Answer me, where did you go to Elizabeth?” I stare at his eyes and I’m filled with disgust and anger.

I hit the chair beside me down and whisper “disgusting”.

“What did you just say, what did you just fucking say?” his voice loudens and he takes a step forward to intimidate me.

“I said that you are disgusting, you reek of alcohol and you keep calling me Elizabeth, my name isn’t Elizabeth, how many times do I have to fucking say that? You…” before I finish I feel his hard hands on my face, it stung, it stung so much but I didn’t feel it. I knew it was meant to hurt, it did but at the same time it didn’t, my dad has slapped me so much that I hardly feel the pain as I should.

“Don’t you ever talk to me like that, I am your father” he lit a cigarette from his pocket and starts to smoke, his what used to be pink lips were darker from all the smoking and dehydration. His muscular body seemed more slender today and in total, he was a mess.

“Now go up to your mother, she’s been worried about you, you know you made her cry today. I know what you’re doing Elizabeth and it's pretty messed up, you killed your sister, you made your mother sick and now you want to kill me, you terrible…”, he starts coughing loudly and I just walk away.

I walk up the stairs as I try to enter my room, I see my mum staring at the wall and tears rolling down her eyes. Her flaxen hair lacked life, so did her forest green eyes, her body was stiff and her posture on the chair she sat on was perfect, it was like she was trying to impress whatever she saw as she stared at the wall.

“Mum”, I say as I walk into her room, the temperature was colder and the aura was depressing. I walk closer to her but she doesn’t notice until I touch her.

“Mum”, she gasped and looks at me.

“Oh Amber, where were you I was so worried, I called but you didn’t answer your phone”

“Mum, you asked me to get you your medicine, don’t you remember. I’m sorry I didn’t pick your calls I was just busy”. That was a lie, I wasn’t busy the truth of the matter is that I was tired of it, I was tired of every single call she’ll make I knew she would worry but I just wanted peace for a minute, just a little time to myself.

“Its okay baby, it's fine I'm just happy you’re okay Liz”. I froze, she called me Liz, she called me Elizabeth. It was the first time she had ever called me that, it was the first time she had called me my twin sister’s name.

My mother’s mouth kept moving but I couldn’t hear anything, I could only hear her voice, she was already dead, dead for eight years so why do they keep doing this, why, I'm here too. I'm your daughter too, she was my sister. I loved her the most so why do they act like I wasn’t even here to begin with like I wasn’t even the one that found her body.

“Just remember I love you okay” my mother said as she smiled at me. I didn’t know what she was saying but I just nodded and said okay, then she hugged me and said, “I'm glad that you’re okay with it”.

I went to my room and took a shower, I start singing the only song that warms me up, ‘killing me softly with his love, killing me softly with his love’. I change to another set of clothes and decide to go for walk. I decide to tell my mum so she won’t get worried when I see her lifeless body on the floor, foam-filled her mouth and the rest of the meds were scattered on the floor.

My head went into a complete panic and I screamed so loud that my father took to his feet and ran to her room as fast as he could. “Ma, mum, mum, mum, mum, noooo, not again no, mum,noooo,noooooo, wake up mum, wake up, I'm going to take you to the hospital okay, mum mum mum”, my voice starts to quiver. My dad walked in slowly and hit me multiple times.

“You did it, you finally did it you bitch, you killed her, she was the only thing that mattered and you killed her the same way you killed your sister” I start to cry and scream.

“Because Liz and mum killed themselves doesn’t mean I did it, I'm so fucking tired, let me just die, let me just die with them so maybe you’ll be fine”.

“Get out, get the fuck out of my house, I never want to see you again, don’t come near to this house ever again and don’t even think of coming to her funeral because ill kill you, you hear me I'm going to kill you”.

I run out of the house and cry my eyes out, I sit on the walkway in front of my neighbour’s house my head was still filled by my father's word and my mother's action, it kept replaying in my head, the tears came out more and more and I couldn’t control it. I start to wipe my tears as more came out when my eyes met her eyes, she had begun walking up to me with care in her starry blue eyes, her face was like a baby’s and her blonde hair made her look more naïve than she might seem to be.

“Are you ok?” was the first word she said to me.

“I noticed that you were crying so much and you have bruises on your face, I know it's not my business or anything but I don’t think I can ignore you, so please are you okay?” it’s been long since I heard someone say that to me, am I okay? My whole body hurts, my mother just died and I’m confused, my head is empty but eyes are full, so maybe…

“No, I'm not okay. I’m having the worst day yet, my father just beat the crap out of me because my mother killed herself, I'm hurt everywhere and I don’t know what to do or where to go”. I start crying again and then she hugged me, it threw me off at first but I needed it.

“I'm sorry you had to go through that, I understand how you feel and if you want me to help, ill help”. She said as she hugged me, it seemed like she was about to cry, it was weird but it seemed natural”.

“Why? Why do you want to help me, I don’t know you”. I asked I had to know why she was willing to help me, is she an angel of some kind or is she just faking it.

“Because I know what it’s like to be all alone and beat up on the side of the road”. I didn’t know how to react but she was so nice to me, it been long since someone has been so nice to me so I went along with it.

“What's your name?” I asked.

“I’m Mary Kate, I actually live with my foster parents down the street”.

“Oh ok”.

“Do you want to come to my house, I could help treat the bruises”.

“Sure”.

We both walk down to her house and she treated my bruises, gave me pain meds and made me mashed potatoes.

“My parents travelled for the weekend so you don’t have to worry about any awkwardness or whatever for a while that’s if you would like to stay”.

I just nod my head and continue eating, “if you don’t mind me asking, can you tell me what happened to you”, I was curious, why did she react that way, I still don’t trust her that much so I wanted answers.

“Well, two years ago I lost my dad to a car accident but the thing is we were both in that car, I survived but my mum wasn’t so joyful about it, she loved my dad more than me so she blamed me for everything, said it was my fault because I wanted to get ice cream. She said a lot of hurtful words, did a lot of hurtful things till she sent me out of the house. I slept outside my house for a week then I tried finding somewhere to go to, I didn’t have any close family around and no good friend to call so I ended up in the streets till someone found me, took me to an orphanage and I wounded up here with a family that loves me more than my own mother”.

Her story made me empathetic she was out for weeks and mine wasn’t even up to an hour, no wonder she almost cried. “I’m so sorry that you experienced that…”.

“It's okay”, she interrupted. “ I know what it's like and I'm pretty sure you do, I just don’t want anyone to suffer like I did.

“Thank you so much”, I said as I sniffled.

She smiled at me and we talked about the things we went through, I felt closer to her in that little time and I was so grateful, although I cried again at the thought of my mother and my long-gone sister I felt supported.

The weekend passed and we both spent our time talking, she mostly consoled me and she learnt about my twin sister. I felt safe and wanted and even though I had the worst thing happen, she was right there. Maybe I'm dreaming, I don’t know but I don’t want it to end. Her parents also showed me so much love and filled me took care of me. They asked if I wanted to take any actions against my dad but I decided to leave him, he might end up dying either way and I wouldn’t be bothered.

Time brought Mary Kate and me closer, and it was like she became my second twin sister, I cry when I think about my mum and my sister still but Mary Kate has made my life easier than I expected.