Nips and Tucks

“Helen? Is that really you? I thought it was, but there’s something different about you. You look amazing.”

“Oh, hi, Diana. Yes, it’s really me. Pull up a chair. Have you eaten already or would you like to join me?”

“I just ate. I came here with some of the girls from the country club. We’d heard this restaurant was amazing.”

“You were right. My meal was delicious. Let’s order dessert. My treat.”

“Oh, I’d love to, but I shouldn’t. Larry notices immediately if I gain an ounce. I’ll just have a black coffee.”

“I am going to have a large slice of that decadent Black Forest gateau and an Irish coffee. Life is too short not to enjoy some of the good things.”

“Helen, I owe you an apology. I should have been more supportive. I haven't been a very good friend."

“Well, that’s sweet of you, but no apologies are necessary. I did wonder if there had been a major satellite disruption because no one from the country club group called after I went back from being Mrs. Dean Baumgartner III to being Helen Jenkins again. Name changes must really mess up modern communication systems.”

“Larry’s company does a lot of business with Dean, and he felt that it would be awkward if it looked like we were taking sides, but I shouldn't have listened to him."

“I understand, though I did hear from Joan, the office manager at the country club. She had the courtesy to call and let me know that Dean had taken my name off the membership. She wanted to spare me the embarrassment of showing up and being refused entrance. She could lose her job for that, so I hope you don’t say anything. You are the only person I have mentioned this to, so I will know who spoke out of turn if anything happens to her, I forgot to mention Dwayne and Juan, the groundskeepers. They and some of their friends were kind enough to help me move when I vacated the Baumgartner mansion and moved into my condo. I got out just before Dean changed the locks. I’m sure you and the girls would have offered to help if you’d known.”

“That’s nice that you know the names of the staff there. I must admit they’ve been part of the scenery as far as I was concerned. One has so much to keep track of at the best of times. I am surprised at Dean. I didn’t think he’d be so petty.”

“Yes, appearances can be deceptive.”

“You look wonderful, Helen. Have you had some work done? I don’t mid admitting that I’ve had a few nips and tucks and a bit of Botox myself. It’s hard trying to keep up appearances when these men are surrounded by beautiful young things at work.”

“Me? No way. I eat healthy most of the time, get regular exercise and plenty of sleep. That's the extent of my beauty regimen. You should try it. Divorce is so contagious. Now that Dean has shed the old wife and got the trophy wife safely on his arm, I’m sure Larry and some of the other geezers are getting ideas. Let’s face it, they are geezers, however stud-like they like to think they are. Diana, no matter how many nips and tucks you have done, you’re never going to be twenty-five again. You don’t need to subject yourself to all that for him. You’re a very attractive woman as you are.”

“You’re being cynical, Helen. I am sure that Dean’s behavior was an exception. Larry and I are very happy.”

“I thought Dean and I were too, but now that I’ve been single for a while, I am realizing how much of our marriage was a sham. The children and I hardly ever saw him because he was gone so much on business. Material things and climbing the ladder became more important to him than us. We were mostly props when he needed a picture with his loving wife and children to show what a great family man he was.”

“I admire you, Helen. I’m not sure I could have coped the way you have. Don’t you miss that beautiful house?”

“Not at all. That was his idea of a status symbol, not mine. After the kids left for college, he and I were like two peas in a bucket rolling around inside it, when he was at home, that is.”

“But wasn’t it devastating when he left you after so many years of marriage?”

“Whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. What gave you the idea that he left me, Diana?”

“Well, I don’t know…we just assumed, that is…Dean said…”

“Diana, I am sure Dean said plenty to salvage his ego, but I was the dumper, not the dumpee. He’d had lots of affairs over the years that he thought I didn’t know about. I finally got tired of it. He’d have been quite content to go on as things were with a wife at home and a bit of fluff on the side. As a matter of fact, I’m not sure that he ever planned to get serious with Ms. Secretary, excuse me, administrative assistant, except that he didn’t have an excuse not to marry her after he found himself single and he's never not had a female to take care of him. So, there he is with someone not much older than his children. I hear through the grapevine that she really wants to start a family. If they have a baby now, Dean will be eighty by the time that child goes to college. It's hilarious."

“I must admit that’s a different point of view. We've been feeling sorry for you, but here you are enjoying life on your own terms.”

“Yes, Dean would never have come to a restaurant like this. If it wasn’t steak and potatoes, then he wasn’t having it. I’m volunteering with a women’s rights organization and I’m off to Spain to hike the Camino de Santiago next month with a group I met online. Oh, and a couple of friends and I are going to the coast soon for a girls’ weekend. You should join us, Diana. They’re a fun crowd.”

“That’s so kind of you, Helen, but I don’t know what Larry would say.”

“Diana, I would never presume to advise you, but I will share a couple of things I have learned through my experience. A man is not a plan, and it's always good to know a capable divorce attorney. I’ll give you my lawyer’s name in case you ever need it. Now, are you sure you won’t have some of that gateau?”