The Woodcutters Problem

The detective glanced through the small window into the interview room at the man inside. He saw a sturdy man with unruly thick brown hair, head bowed low over clenched hands. His blue flannel shirt open at the collar showing the top of a gray thermal undershirt. Jeans worn and dirty, his heavy work boots scuffed from years of use. White foam cup on the table to his right. “Poor bastard” the detective mumbled, opening the door and going into the small cinder block room. The man looked up as the detective entered, face full of worry and fatigue.

“Just walk us through this once more Joe” the detective said,taking a seat and starting the tape recorder as he set it on the metal table between them.

“Well, we've been working that section of the forest for a few weeks now, ya know.” Joe started, taking a deep breath “Lotta good scots pine over there. Comin’ up on the cold season, the boss wants plenty to sell. Bundles it for fire wood ya see. We’ll probably be movin’ on the the north section next couple days.” Joe paused “ Wish we woulda moved on last week, come to think of it.”

“Yeah Joe, we see your point there.” The detective said “What about the wolf?”

“Okay, so here’s the deal, we all knew the wolf was hanging around the area. Of course we knew, big damn thing.” Joe said, pulling his fingers through hair that was all but standing on end from the action being repeated of the course of the longest twenty-four hours Joe had lived to now. “We all knew that the old lady lived alone over there too. I mean, she’s been there all our lives, crazy old bird. We go over a few times, check on her, warn her we’ve seen the wolf around. Ask if maybe she can’t go stay in town with her family for a few weeks until the thing moved on. She flat out refused to leave, even after she fell down all those steps and busted up her hip. She was lucky we all heard her shoutin’ that day. I mean she coulda died out there. And

 the foreman went to her daughter's place himself after that. Tried to express his concern. Got told to mind his own damn business. So we just went on as usual.”

“Sure, we got that noted here” the detective tapped the file in front of him. “Tell be about yesterday”

“So yesterday Smitty sees the girl wanderin’ through in that bright red cloak of hers.” Joe passed, taking a sip from the cup with shaky hands “After awhile we got to wonderin’ where she’d got to, you know, what with the wolf and all. So I got elected to go on over and see what’s up.” Joe said jabbing his thumb toward his chest. “Big damn shock I tell you what. That wolf all dressed in the old ladies clothes. The girl just tucking blankets around it, like it was no big deal. Almost like she was playin with it like a doll”

“So you panicked, seeing the girl with the wolf?” The detective asked

“What do you think?!” Joe asked, his voice strained. “Hell yeah I panicked! Maybe acted without thinkin. I guess I coulda asked some questions, or whatever. You can judge me all you like, until you’re faced with it you’ve got no idea okay! The damn thing looked right over when I came in, growled low. So I just reacted. Pulled the kid outta the way. One good swing was all it took to get it down. After that it's a blur.” He stopped lowering his head into his hands, what sounded like a short sob escaping.

“Alright Joe, I get you.” the detective said, his voice even “ You had the ax with you? What’s it made of you think?”

 Joe took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. Sniffling a bit he rubbed his face before leaning back in the chair.

“Sure i had it, not gonna go wanderin’ around in them woods without somethin. I already told you about the big ass wolf. Made of steel, ash handle. Standard ax.” Joe said, his hands trembling as he reached for his cup of water “So after I killed the thing, thinking I just saved this poor kid, she starts just screamin’ and really losin’ it all over the place. All the racket gets the rest of the guys runnin’ over and they get it out of the kid that I just killed the old lady.”

Joe pause a moment and took a deep breath, letting it out with a hiss

“I mean it was insane. So I says ‘look kid, that weren’t no old lady, that was a damn wolf, get your shit together.’ She musta ran off and got her mom then. I didn’t really think much of it at the time. Kid sees something like that, of course she aint gonna stick around.” Joe looked at the detective.

“How did you kill it exactly?” the detective asked “Did you chop it’s head off or what?”

“Nah, not clean off anyway. Just started swingin’ ya know, until it wasn’t movin’ anymore. Seemed like it was maybe already hurt, so I only had to hit it maybe twice, three times. Like I said, wasn’t counting.”

“Okay. So what then? The detective asked “we didn’t find a wolf when we got there.”

“Then we dug a hole out behind the shed there and dropped the dead thing in.” Joe propped his forehead up on his fists, looking down, elbows on the table. “How were we supposed to know they were a pack of lycanthropes?” Joe looked up at the detective “You know the rest. We

 buried the thing and went on back to work. Then your lot showed up, sirens screaming. And here we are.”

“Here we are Joe” The detective sighed, looking over at the one way glass “here we are...”