Star In The Dark

Nkanyezi (Star)

Tonight is a full moon, I lay in a small clearing amongst the trees in the forest not far from my house. This is my favorite place to relax during my free time. The birds that I often spotted chirping and dancing about as I stood behind my living room curtains, were fast asleep. This was a time for nocturnal creatures. I felt right at home, breathing the smell of moist soil, feeling the cool breeze moving between trees that in the day chased after the sun; but in the night seemed to create a stage to welcome the moon and point our attention to the stars.  

The vibration on my chest drew my eyes down to my phone, it was a text from my ‘pen pal’ only they weren’t on the other side of the planet or anything like that. It was that they lived during the day and I during the night. My cousin and I used to go to the same school until my family moved when my already sensitive skin developed a severe allergy to the sun. That’s how my parents explained it when I was a kid. The proper medical term is Solar urticaria. We used to live closer to the city but since I could no longer spend most of my time out during the day, we moved further out to a bigger house with beautiful vistas on a large piece of land connected to the forest. Needless to say, my new hobbies include exploring the forest, and on some occasions, playing hide and seek with the sun.

Nkululeko :  Out in the dark again?

Me: As always, winding down the day of course.  As usual, the invitation is open.

Nkululeko: You know that I have a fear of the dark…

Me: Yeah, one that even having flashlights can’t curb. I keep telling you, it’s probably the only thing keeping us apart.  

Nkululeko: Haha, you have jokes. You know that I’ll be around in a few weeks, right?

Me: Yeah and this time around, you will definitely go exploring with me.

Nkululeko: I’m courageous under the light of the sun. That’s the best time for adventures.

That was the end of that discussion. Nkululeko used to love playing in the dark and even told funny ghost stories when we were kids, but now that we’re older that’s all changed.

Nkululeko (Freedom)

 I was driving through winding roads as I sang along to the songs on my recently created ‘long drive’ playlist; finally having time off from work to visit my cousin. I love the city but I’m truly looking forward to the fresh air and majestic pictures I’ll get to add to my Instagram. The weather report said that there might be some summer rain in a few days but otherwise, I will get to enjoy some sunshine and an extra golden glow. When being indoors is a norm, the natural glow starts to diminish… such a bummer. But all that will be sorted in a day or two.

I finally reach the off-ramp leading to Star’s place so I had to give her a ring, she can’t get about during the day, and since it’s still early in the afternoon. The night owl might still be sleeping. The call rang, cutting off the music in the car… “Mmm sleeping” sounded her husky morning voice. Then just as I was about to respond, she hung up. With a huge eye roll, I redialed the call as I relaxed back into my seat. “Nkanyezi! Five calls dude, really!” I admonished once she had finally tired of hanging up on me. “How can you be this relentless? Why not call at a more humane hour?” She whimpered and feigned sounds of distress. “I keep telling you, your sleeping habits are what’s keeping us apart,” I jested knowing that she forgot about my visit, “Open up, I’m at the gate.”  

Space, that’s why I love it here. The house was mostly powered by natural energy and had huge tinted windows that kept the bad UV rays away from Star’s skin. The den had floor to ceiling sliding glass doors that led to the back patio and attached pool. We enjoyed taking night swims together and during the day, I’d often have my nose stuck in a book whilst enjoying some sunshine on the pool chairs or lounge sofas. Once Star woke up, we’d spend the rest of the day eating, playing games, and watching shows like ‘say yes to that dress’ or ‘Cake Boss’.  Star likes to go on late walks, she’s a stargazer. I often join her for that short space of time after the sun sets behind the tree line, but the sky hasn’t turned completely dark.  She has to wear clothes that help protect her while the sun is still out, but I often see her return feet bare, with just a tank top and long flowing wrap-around skirt.

My aunt and uncle were away on a ‘couple’s retreat’ so it was just the two of us. Lucky for me, Star preps food like a boss. She often made dinner and I took care of lunch. It’s day three of my vacation, we were in the kitchen. I sat at the counter as she moved between the different appliances, getting the chopped vegetables ready to cook while checking on the pasta and sauce. Speaking as she worked “So let’s make an agreement, we will be setting out on an adventure tomorrow. It should be cloudy and cooler out after 3pm,” she had brought up the fact that we spend most of our time apart and I hadn’t been able to join her on one of her long nature walks or seen the stars from outside a well lite house. “We can camp out for part of the night and I’ll bring good flashlights, I’m hoping that -” She was still talking when I interrupted, “that there ain't no river wide enough, to keep me from getting to you babe-” She threw a piece of broccoli at me  “You’re such a pest. And you are in charge of the food.” I shrugged in tacit agreement trying not to think about the upcoming ‘adventure’ as Star liked to call it.    

Nkanyezi (Star)

“Food, water, and mini first aid kit – check, all ready to go,” I declared as I started on the usual path toward the forest. It was a large area, most of it was protected to stop more construction and deforestation. We walked for a long time, spotting some deer tracks that we tried to track. We eventually heard the stream that led to a lake. “Wow, this is the place you always walk to in the middle of the night. Dangerous much!” Nkululeko tried to reprimand but she was too distracted by the gentle flow of the lake framed by the magnificent forest, and from behind dispersing clouds, the setting sunlight dancing in the backdrop of thick bark and tree crowns. “Well, this can only be bettered by one more thing…” She trailed off. “edibles?” I asked expecting the worst, “wine.” She stated, ignoring my jab with an excited grin.

We set up camp, the tent was easy once we gave up and read the instructions. We had a picnic blanket set up between the tent and the lake. We set out the food for an early dinner, after eating - like responsible adults, we shared the wine. We feared setting drunk fires, so we used the battery lamps. Nkululeko sat cross-legged next to me while I soaked my feet in the water and stared at the sky. “When was the last time we spent time together like this? It feels like a lifetime ago.”

“Yeah, I missed you… It was strange when finally, I realized that you moved away and took my best friend away from me.” She said with a melancholic laugh. “Have I ever told you why I’m scared of the dark?” She hadn’t and I’d felt too guilty about not being able to share everyday life with her to ask. “In the city, there are lights almost everywhere you go. But sometimes there are power outages, it’s called load shedding.” I nodded my head, indicating that I’d heard about this. The country’s national electricity provider was struggling with debt and couldn’t keep up with the increasing demand. Nkululeko continued, “There are always reports of hijackings and muggings in such big cities. I can’t count the times I’ve had to drive in blanked out roads and then suffer the anxiety of having to park my car, and hope for the best while I try to make it to my apartment.”

She let out a breathy sigh “Women are the most targeted group, and I live alone. I found myself constantly looking over my shoulder. I can’t walk slow or look up to catch more than a slight glimpse of the moon. Over time, I forgot to even lookup. When I’m in the dark, all I think about is the danger if I don’t escape.”  There was a pregnant pause once she stopped talking, it took me a moment to absorb the heaviness of her words and all I could do was move to shelter her in my embrace. What does one say to comfort one’s dearest friend? “You’ve been carrying that for the five years since you moved out on your own, haven’t you?” She nodded her head as her arms wrapped tightly around my waist. “I’m sorry you had to face that on your own, Nkululeko.”  

Nkululeko (Freedom)

We kept drinking our wine, and once the bottle was done, we laid back on the picnic blanket taking in the cosmic skies above. The clouds had fully cleared, and the moon shone at its full glory. The trees were so tall, they looked like they were reaching for the stars. “One day perhaps my reach will surpass that of those trees, beyond the reach of earthly darkness,” I whispered to not disturb the quiet. Still looking toward the sky, Star reached for my hand in the dark and replied “To be amongst the stars is to be surrounded by darkness. Just don’t forget to look for the light that shines beyond and all around. I don’t know if I read that somewhere or just thought of it, but to me, you are as bright as the sun.”  squeezing her hand, I turned my head angled in her direction, “I love you, Star.”  She looked at me and smiled, then we both turned back to gaze at the twinkling stars. “I love you too,” came her soft voice, and we settled back into the silence and the sky.

The End