Bromeo and Julian

Characters (by order of appearance)

OLOSTRA, a palm wine merchant

ADEDAYO, one of three adventurers, fighter by class

ODION, one of three adventurers, cleric by class

NEHANDA, one of three adventurers, bard by class

KULTIQ CLAN MEMBERS 1 and 2

TISNUR CLAN MEMBERS 1 and 2

SARVISDAR KULTIQ, goatherd and grandson of the Kultiq patriarch

ZENDAT TISNUR, blacksmith and grandson of the Tisnur patriarch

MO-TARHAK KULTIQ, patriarch of the Kultiq clan

STORCURTH TISNUR, patriarch of the Tisnur clan

VILLAGERS

MUSICIANS

Scene 1: Dalvur, An idyllic oasis village beside a lake.

Enter Olostra, a palm wine merchant from the village of Dalvur, stepping out of the village.

Olostra

Two households, both alike in dignity

By fair Lake Alvad, where we lay our scene,

From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,

Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.

From forth the fertile loins of these two foes

A pair of star-crossed lovers take a chance

To join themselves in matrimony and

Thereby their parents’ feud make great hindrance.

The secret passage of their hidden love

And the continuance of their parents’ rage,

Which nothing less than true love could remove,

Is now the verbose traffic of this page;

The which, if you with patient eyes attend,

Shall bring all things to quite a happy end.

Enter three Adventurers from the east, tired and dirty.

Adedayo

Ho there! Merchant!

Olostra

Ho there! Adventurer!

Odion

What village is this?

Olostra

Dalvur, good sir.

Nehanda

Is it a pleasant place to rest our legs

And steeds road-weary from a voyage long?

Olostra

More pleasant than the plains you’ve just traversed

But still improved by palm wine, which I sell

By cup or jug or barrel, as you please.

Adedayo

Palm wine? Know you Bogati’s seller of the same?

Ashraf, I think the man said he was called.

Olostra

He taught me everything I know.

Odion

How came you then to this small town?

Olostra

To start my business. Will you buy a drink?

Enter two members each of the Kultiq and Tisnur clans. Each clan comes from a different side of the village. They are angry at the sight of each other.

One Tisnur makes a rude gesture at the Kultiqs as they move towards Olostra and the Adventurers.

Kultiq 1

(angry) Do you flip the bird at us, sir?

Tisnur 1

I do flip the bird, sir.

Kultiq 2

But do you flip the bird at us, sir?

Nehanda

[aside, to Olostra] What manner of folk are these?

Olostra

[aside, to Adventurers] Mere servants to the families that make

Themselves the leaders of this lakeside town,

Although the fam’lies hate each other fierce.

Tisnur 1

No, ma’am, I do not flip the bird at you, ma’am, but I flip the bird, ma’am.

Kultiq 1

Do you quarrel, sir?

Tisnur 2

Quarrel, sir? No, sir.

Kultiq 1

But if you do, sir, I am for you. We serve as good a man as you.

Tisnur 2

No better.

Adedayo

Ho there! What cause for quarrel have you?

Kultiq 2

No business of outsiders, that is sure.

Odion

Peace, please. We simply seek–

Nehanda

An audience with your masters, if we may.

Tisnur 1

Not together, certainly.

Nehanda

Then separately. But still, where can we find

The men that built this village fine and fair?

Adedayo

[aside, to Nehanda] Why are you such a flattering twat?

Kultiq 1

Our houses grand are there, beside the lake. (He points towards them.)

Odion

We thank you kindly.

Exeunt.

Scene 2: Outside the grand houses of the Kultiq and Tisnur clans, which are across the main road of Dalvur from one another.

Enter the Adventurers. Olostra follows behind them, unnoticed.

Nehanda

These must be the houses.

Adedayo

Do we start with Kultiq or Tisnur?

Odion

Would you rather feign interest in leather or steel?

Nehanda

I think we all could use new leather boots

And sharper swords for battles yet to come.

Enter Sarvisdar from the Kultiq house. He’s attractive, slim, and muscular, dressed as a goatherd.

Adedayo

Ho there! Is your master yet awake?

Sarvisdar

Master have I none, but Grandfather–

Enter Zendat from the Tisnur house. He is stocky and attractive, dressed as a blacksmith. Sarvisdar stops talking at the sight of him.

Sarvisdar

But soft! What light from yonder doorway breaks?

It is the east, and Zendat is the sun!

Sarvisdar and Zendat make eye contact. 

Zendat

O Sarvisdar, Sarvisdar, wherefore art thou Sarvisdar?

‘Tis but thy clan that is my enemy.

The romantic tension is palpable for about 3 seconds before they break eye contact and turn away from each other.

Nehanda

[aside] I see young love between these warring clans.

Odion

Might we speak with both of you at once?

An awkward pause. Zendat and Sarvisdar approach the adventurers from opposite sides, both eager and terrified to be near one another.

Zendat

Our families would be furious if they knew.

Sarvisdar

What business have adventurers with us?

Adedayo

We seek to know the reasons for the feud

So clearly here betwixt your families brewed.

Zendat

The feud predates the two of us by far.

Sarvisdar

And yet its impacts every day are felt.

Odion

You would be friends, I’m sure, without the feud.

Nehanda

Or something more, I wager.

Sarvisdar and Zendat look shocked, then glance at each other, blush, and look away.

Nehanda

A marriage twixt your clans could be a means

To end the feud by making one the groups

That war with one another ceaselessly.

Everyone looks at one another, considering this idea.

Sarvisdar

You speak our greatest hopes aloud, and yet–

Zendat

Our clans would never such a match allow

Because together we can make no heirs.

Olostra steps forward, making her presence known.

Olostra

But what objection can they make to that,

When each of you has aunties who, though wed,

Are not yet blessed with children of their own?

It is the gods who give all blessings of this life,

And fair Athena sprung from Zeus’s head,

Without the aid of woman or a womb.

So who can say they may not bless you thus,

If your union is by them endorsed?

Odion

(warming to the idea) As it happens, I’m to Aphrodite sworn

And she your nuptials would no doubt support

If I your ceremony may perform.

Sarvisdar

You are most generous, and yet I think

Without our grandfathers’ consent, this plan

Is predestined to fail.

Zendat

Without a doubt.

Adedayo

(glancing meaningfully at Adventurer 3) I think we can persuade them.

Nehanda

Perhaps you can convince the patriarchs to meet

The two of us in yonder lakeside grove? (points towards the lake)

Olostra

Do make it so, young lovers. While they meet,

We with your priest will make the wedding plans.

Exeunt.

Scene 3: In the lakeside grove.

Enter Adedayo with Mo-Tarhak Kultiq, and Nehanda with Storcurth Tisnur, from opposite directions.

Mo-Tarhak

Oh no! You cannot think that I would meet with him!

Storcurth

Nor I with that most loathsome cad.

Adedayo

But meet you will, for this concerns you both.

Nehanda

Your fam’lies and all Dalvur stand to gain,

If you our purposed business deign to bless.

Mo-Tarhak

What business can I have with yonder lout?

No greater scoundrel has the world seen.

Storcurth

Perhaps your eyes mistake me for a mirror.

The only scoundrel here stands in your shoes.

Adedayo

Enough dispute! Are you always like this?

Your conduct my twin sons could outperform

Though they have walked this earth less than six years.

Storcurth

You egg! How dare you speak so brash to patriarchs?

Mo-Tarhak

Such disrespect to us shall not be borne.

Nehanda

And here we find you both of one accord!

I knew ‘twas not impossible to bring

Men of such stature to see eye to eye.

And in such vein, I beg you lend your ears

To hear the business we wish to propose.

Mo-Tarhak

(grudgingly) Get on with it, then.

Nehanda

Have you considered joining your two clans

As one, to rule this village unified in peace

That all who call it home may prosper here?

Storcurth

No greater shame to Tisnurs could be dreamed.

Mo-Tarhak

No greater boon to Tisnurs, you must mean.

But no worse scandal Kultiqs could befall.

Nehanda

Accord again in quarrel do we find!

Two such great men could only stand to gain

If they their powers once chose to combine

To benefit the village that they lead.

Adedayo

And such a combination could be made

With just one marriage, should you choose to bless

The union of young lovers from your clans.

Storcurth

But that would make us in-laws!

Storcurth and Mo-Tarhak make retching noises.

Nehanda

Come now, would that really be so bad?

You each have your own businesses to run

And they work in tandem in this place

Where weary travelers may stop and rest.

In all Zanthrysia I have yet to find

A better fair oasis that possessed

Such varied traders with such wondrous goods.

But endless quarr’ling quite disturbs the peace

That this idyllic setting should provide.

Why not combine your efforts and let cease

The discord that your families divide?

Mo-Tarhak

What benefit to me to lay aside

Every offense his family has gi’en mine?

Storcurth

And what young people in his clan or mine

Would to a member of the enemy side

Consent to wed?

Adedayo

A question that you’ll find

Is answered easily and with the joy

Of those young persons to be thus entwined.

Were you aware Sarvisdar and Zendat

Have long been hiding that they are in love?

Storcurth and Mo-Tarhak

WHAT?!

Storcurth

(overlapping) Of all the impertinent–

Mo-Tarhak

(overlapping) Such dishonorable swains–

Storcurth

(overlapping) To forsake traditional values–

Mo-Tarhak

(overlapping) Their mothers will be scandalized–

Storcurth and Mo-Tarhak

And no heirs could be had from such a match!

Nehanda

The gods have made much stranger things occur.

Why keep your grandsons mis’rably apart?

Mo-Tarhak

This match could only make more misery for him,

To be enjoined to putrid Tisnur scum.

Storcurth

My halls shall never be thus so profaned

By union with some wretched Kultiq filth.

Adedayo

Please have some sense! Men of such age advanced

Should not be strained with quarrels of this kind.

Sarvisdar and Zendat are of one mind

Enraptured with each other, and we feel

That it is cruel to keep them so estranged

By some ancient rift between your clans.

Can either of you say what actions first

Began the conflict that you now sustain?

Mo-Tarhak and Storcurth fumble for words and false starts but come up with nothing. They look at each other wide-eyed, realizing for the first time that they don’t know why they hate each other.

Nehanda

And so why keep these two young men apart

When you yourselves know not the root of hate

That rots your houses both from deep within?

Mo-Tarhak

Methinks there might be sense in what they speak.

Storcurth

I hate to say it, but I do agree.

Adedayo

And so their marriage may with your consent

Proceed in joy, perhaps this very day?

The Patriarchs look at each other again, then slowly nod.

Nehanda

Excellent! Then let us go at once

Back to the town to unify the clans.

Exeunt.

Scene 4: The village of Dalvur, now decorated for a party. All the characters are present, along with many other Kultiqs and Tisnurs. Odion shakes a staff over Sarvisdar and Zendat, sprinkling them with flower petals. The couple embraces and kisses. The villagers cheer, and even Mo-Tarhak and Storcurth smile. Then Musicians begin to play a joyful tune, and all the characters start dancing and laughing and drinking together, with no separation by clan.

Olostra steps out of the crowd, holding a half-coconut full of palm wine.

Olostra

And so the Kultiqs and the Tisnurs joined

In jubilee unlikely yet enjoyed

To celebrate the union of their sons

Sarvisdar and Zendat, much in love.

And thus the rift between the warring clans

Was mended, that all Dalvur now may thrive.

We raise a toast to bless the newlyweds

And bring our story to a happy end.