AMELIORATING SITUATIONS IN THE FACE OF UNCERTAINTIES ...A practical exploration of Academic Struggle and Survival

                               INTRODUCTION

Traceable to my humble background, I graduated from a public secondary school, of which I could tag local, with limited teachers and infrastructures. I could remember my set lately got a literature and a full-time Government/Christian religious studies teacher in SS2 third term, at the verge of commencing our O'level examinations.

Nevertheless, I graduated in 2010, filled with lots of burning passion, enthusiasm, and zeal, in furtherance of my academic career. Meanwhile, the real struggle began early 2011.

As the senior Prefect Boy and one of the best graduating students of my set, there were tons of expectations from both teachers, friends and family members. In fact, one of my teachers did made reference to me and two of my classmates, assuring us of a brighter future based on our academic performance.

But, guess what, we were only "slay kings and Queens" in our father's land, being ignorant of whose ox is gored.

I have come to discover that "if you are not adequately exposed and well equipped, and did not have a taste of some real life situations or challenges, you might not be sure of your strengths and weaknesses, and you might end up seeing yourself as the best, even though, you're at the far back."

On the completion of my Secondary School Certificate Examination, while patiently waiting for the results to be released, there came the need to draw out series of achievable targets and plans, in preparation for another phase of academic journey. SSCE struggle is over; what's next? Obviously, Jamb.

My admission targets were totally forfeited as there was a long period of forslow, of which I never planned for. You know the kind of mentality secondary school leavers do have about gaining admission immediately after school. Once you're unable to meet the target, most of them see you as a failure, hence, neglecting and creating a wide communication gap. At times, you even feel like moving closer to them, so that they could hint you about happenings on campus; but their awkward attitude is enough to scare you away.

I spent six (6) years seeking for admission. All these years of delay seemed to be a mystery, as no one, not even myself could ever imagine such would have happened to me. All my beautiful set goals were hanging, filled with dangling hopes, uncertainties and fear of missing out.

Some believed that my efforts weren't enough, while some termed it as a spiritual warfare. I knew I wasn't lazy. Besides, my academic status wasn't that poor. Rather than becoming a weak jellyfish, I summoned courage and kept hoping for the best.

        WHY THE QUEST FOR MASS COMMUNICATION?

Mass Communication as a discipline has been my preferred course from onset. This is against the backdrop of the notions of many, who claim that most students dash into Mass Communication discipline due to limited relevant Arts related courses. Despite the lingering notions, I kept abreast with my focus, determined and hoping to attain the desired height.

Right from my elementary school days, my keen interest in Media practices has been undoubtedly high and firm. I belonged to the press club, a brainchild of Media practice both in my primary and secondary schools, where weekly bulletins were prepared, packaged and read on the assembly ground on either Mondays or Fridays, or even both; though on rare cases. I was fortunate to be one of the Newscasters in my primary school, and we were just two doing the News casting in secondary school; my Senior Prefect Girl and I. It was indeed a great experience, as it navigated my path through; from the very moment I made my choice to be in Arts class in secondary school, till the period of preparing for higher academic quest, and even now. I knew it was my path, I knew I had the potential in me; so I began to develop myself hitherto and accordingly. All of these constituted my personal qualities which are fundamentals to the study, of which I had the aim of building on, as well as having a career in this ever changing and fast moving sector

The Deadly Temptation

The following year, however, came with a surprise as there was a change of syllabus. I had to start purchasing new textbooks, especially literature-in-English, in preparation for the year's UTME. Jamb exams were being written via paper and pencil in the previous years before the computer-based strategy was partially introduced in 2013. That same year, I opted for a pre-degree program at AAUA to further boost my chances of gaining admission. The pressure on me was too much, as I was thinking of the exorbitant fee to be paid, the fear of failing, and a host of other things kept biting me hard, hence, igniting my readiness and preparation for the exam.

On getting to the examination venue at the early hours of the day as instructed, there were lots of side talks about students who have been passing jamb via exam malpractice, with verifiable proofs of their acclaimed successes. Not that I've not been hearing things like that in the past, but something caught my interest in the discussion and I was lost in my thoughts. I was carried away by the notion that one can't predict his/her performance in the jamb exam... And that you can't even rely on your previous performance(s) to judge the present. Immediately, series of thoughts started flowing through my dirty mind. Even after so much preparation, the fear of failing gripped me. The question "What if?" began to generate various instincts in me, in different dimensions. At that point, my head was empty. I couldn't remember a single line out of the whole pages I've covered. Then, I fell prey to the evil deed called Exam Malpractice. Like play, like a joke, I made arrangements for my own answers and I got it before the exam started. Getting into the exam all, students around me could feel the heat I was emitting. Being my first malpractice experience, I was so troubled as if the exam should only last for 5minutes. Before I knew it, the exam ended and I joyfully went back home expecting nothing less than 300 when the result is released, based on the testimonies I got at the exam venue.

After a few weeks, the result was out. Could you believe that despite my strong faith and the target I set, I was still disturbed, even to the extent of wanting to grab the mouse from the computer operator assisting with the checking of the result, when I perceived he was being too slow... (Smiles)

To my greatest surprise, after checking the results, I had 135. I mean 135! I could neither laugh nor cry. I was just smiling. For a good two days, I kept telling my elder brother that perhaps my result was misplaced with another person's result. In fact, for a week, I was expecting a re-upload of result from Jamb, but low and behold, that was my real result. It was the greatest admission trauma I ever had, as I was automatically disqualified and later pack my things and came back home. The minimum jamb score one could have then to scale through the pre-degree program was 180; but I scored 135. Low self-esteem and fear of the unknown ruined my plans. Despite all efforts to sustain the pre-degree program, as well as securing my admission for the year, I lost out gallantly without remedy. Though the University didn't mount much pressure on us for school fee payment, I already paid an acceptance fee of #25,000 and other expenses. However, that still saved me from another great loss of tuition fee payment.

How I Lost the Golden Fleece

When I got back home, I was so full of shame. For like two months, I couldn't go anywhere. Even to attend church services became a big problem. That was when I learnt my lessons... Then, I made up my mind that henceforth, no matter what happens, I prefer to fail expressly rather than failing due to any form of involvement in exam malpractice. I actually learnt in a very difficult way. After this great downfall, I lost the courage in me; then I developed the notion that there was nothing I could do successfully on my own without external help or assistance. I totally lost out!

I began to lose the courage, belief, and abilities in me, until I got rid of the idea of putting my eggs in one basket; and came the sudden interest in any available discipline. I was embittered by the circumstances facing me. The real human in me became missing. I lost the GOLDEN FLEECE.

In 2014, my passion for reading has greatly dwindled. All left was the experiences I've garnered during the previous years of trial. It really affected my reading habit and I could perceive another failure ahead, even though, I couldn't help myself. All efforts geared at ameliorating situations failed. I received a lot of encouragement from both family members and church leaders, but all fell on futile ground. As if that wasn't enough, a very close street uncle, schooling at federal polytechnic, Offa, kwara state, duped me due to my ignorance and desperation, in quest for admission that same year. He promised to give the money to some staffs in the admission unit of the school , but ended up giving me false hope. It was later I got to know that he also duped some guys in my area, who paid him for similar service. In a nutshell, I lost out that year again just as usual. My hatred for everything good became noticeable, the level of my desperation increased, I was so depressed.

AMELIORATING SITUATIONS IN THE FACE OF UNCERTAINTIES

How I Became A Victim of Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination in The East

In 2015, I wrote another Jamb, which preceded the one that qualified me for admission into FUOYE in 2016. I wrote the exam in IMO State. Why Imo State?

Well, after several trials in 2014 and the previous years, a family friend schooling in Rivers State polytechnic, Bori, told me to opt-in for the polytechnic. She assured me of gaining admission no matter what.

They don't write post utme... All you need do is to obtain their supplementary form and you would be offered admission. The form was sold for Twenty-one thousand Naira. I summed up courage and obtained the form out of frustration without considering the distance. I couldn't even tell my parents the name of the school not until after I obtained the form... They actually tried discouraging me because of the distance but I was so resolute to have a change of environment, knowing copiously well that I was going to be admitted.

Even at that, my Mum was so disturbed, that she had to advise me to obtain another jamb form. She said that surviving in Rivers State might be so difficult due to lack of easy access to the house. She advised me to accept the offer of admission at Rivpoly, pending the time the new admission I was processing would click out. While preparing and patiently waiting for the admission list to be out, I reluctantly obtained the jamb form; but my preparation for the exam wasn't that solid, all because of the so-called "admission in embryo." Isn't that funny?

On getting to the registration center, something struck my feeling. Jamb exam would be written by April, and by then, I would have been admitted and would obviously be in school. Due to that, I couldn't choose Ekiti as my exam state. Had to resolve to choosing Rivers State as my exam state, inasmuch I would be in school by the time the exam would be written. Rivers State had the highest number of applicants for the year and unfortunately, due to late registration, there was no more space in the state. I was therefore advised to choose a nearby state; and that made me chose IMO State as my exam state.

Be reminded that I had a pending admission into Rivpoly. When the admission list finally came out, I opted for Mass Communication, but I was offered Office Technology Management (OTM). I was so disappointed and dejected. My parents didn't allow me to go for the course. I tried convincing them, but my Dad would never succumb. The only condition on which he agreed to allow me go for the course was if I could sponsor myself for the program without him releasing a dime. I was totally handicapped, so, I buried my thoughts and initial plan. Thank God I obtained jamb form, which later served as an alternative for me. Inasmuch I couldn't go to Rivpoly for OTM, I had no choice than to go to IMO State to write the 2015 jamb exam, to qualify me for another admission. All efforts to change the exam state immediately the admission fucked up all proved abortive. Then, I began to prepare thoroughly for the exam. On that trip alone, I spent nothing less than twenty-eight thousand naira. I got there four days to the exam due to the fact that I didn't know anywhere or anyone there. However, before I embarked on the journey, I'd made arrangements with a lady on Facebook, who accommodated and fed me for almost a week without giving her a dime. Chinonye was indeed God-sent.

Yes, my performance was a little bit encouraging in 2015. I scored 217, and that rekindled and sealed my hope of gaining admission that year. I obtained AAUA post UTME form, and I had 68.33 as my overall aggregate, which was far beyond the cut-off point for Mass Communication. The cutoff point for Mass Communication was 58%. As a result of that, I didn't even think of any alternative or to process any polytechnic admission again. Besides, my church fellowship already assured me that come what may, I would be admitted.

To cut the long story short, after waiting for two and half months, the first batch of admission list was released and my name was of nowhere to be found. I visited my fellowship to alert them of the update and they released that it was just the merit list; and then assured me of a positive outcome, as the school releases her second batch of admission list in no time from then. The second batch came out with my name missing again. It was at that point my eyes got opened. I didn't go to my fellowship this time. Instead, I entered the school, looking for lecturers who could be of help, but all were in total futility.

Fortunately for me, a guy connected me with a senior lecturer. On getting to the man's office, he made me understand that ordinarily, I should have been admitted based on merit(first batch); but that the university scope of operation got changed by the new Vice-Chancellor, which is against the initial practice.

The new VC reversed the university admission ratio from 50/50 to 80/20. Meaning 80% for indigenes, 20% for non-indigenes. Though, both were to pay the same amount for tuition fees. He further said that had it been I came to him earlier, he would have attached my name with d slots given to him. At that period, the polytechnic I opted for has concluded admission activities for the year. And that was how I wasted my chances of admission in 2015. All efforts made to the Eastern state failed, and I was back to square one again.

In 2016, I changed my mind totally, as I stopped opting for AAUA. That was when a friend of mine in Kogi state university introduced the school to me. I opted for Mass Communication there as usual; though with a minimum jamb score of 196. My poor performance that year was due to the depression I suffered in the previous years of struggle.

I went to KSU to undertake their physical screening exercise, and from there, waiting for the screening result to be released. That year, I opted for admission, both full time and part-time into more than six schools. I was so resolute that come what may, I must gain admission that year either by hook or by crook.

To my surprise, the Screening result was out and I didn't score up to the required aggregate for Mass Communication. However, I was told to do a change of course, of which I quickly switched to Sociology, even though I wasn't happy with my decision. All the long years of nursing a single discipline ended within a short period of time. Despite switching to another course, gaining admission yet, seemed difficult. Due to frustration, my friend had to connect me with people who involve in admission smuggling, and they told me to pay a sum of thirty thousand naira to help secure my admission into the new department. Of course, you should know that beggars have no choice. I had to make the payment on time to avoid another story that touches. Lo and behold, after the long struggle, I was offered admission to study Sociology in KSU. Without wasting time at all, I proceeded to pay my acceptance fee of 35 thousand naira, and I started preparing for resumption. That same year, I was offered admission in three different schools; Kogi State University, Anyingba in Kogi state, Federal Polytechnic, Nekede in Imo State, and Federal University, Oye-Ekiti. That ended all the pains and quest for admission. No doubt, I’d made great mistakes during the course of seeking admission into higher institution of my choice; and that realy caused me a lot of havoc. But nevertheless, I made timely amends and thank God I scaled through.