Freedom Not for the Self

As the clock strikes four, i am awoken to the sound of countless clattering clocks. It does not matter if i count them for they always change, in number and location. As my day cannot begin with out there silence i most find each one and silence it, never getting to have a full nights sleep is put towards the silencing of these Heathenistic contraptions.

With the silencing of the last beast my doors are thrown open as my families butlers and maids usher me to my next task. For that is really what my life is, not one of joy or pleasure, no. It has always been one filled with the decisions of my father and what he believes right for me of taking on the pride of the family name Sharnen. Its common for me to receive a comeuppance as i never do my task full heartedly but just enough to get by. The punishment given is that to run the perimeter of the property. Many would think thats not a big task to run around there yard. But when the perimeter of your home is equivalent to 23 miles, youd be singing a diffrent tune.

It took me a long time to realize that this punishment bestowed on me was more of a gift, for it was a time in which i held alone to my self, unless i took to long then the helpers would be sent to find me. This does not mean i did not straggle, after id leave sight of the house id take my marry time. Taking in the nature around me, able to finally breath some fresh air on my own, with out anyone telling me when to.

Many years went by like this till upon a day in the midst of my running i happened upon some children, must've been around my age though i could not tell. For id never met other children only seen from family photos or descriptions of books. But they ever so looked like me, with one crucial differenc, they all held a smile. Not one of forced nature or to please, but a natural smile. ones that shone more beautiful than any diamond. From these smiles through a fence friendship started to sprout, as every day i confided into them my hopes and dreams of one day being free. Though this time wouldnt make up even a quarter of an hour a day, we‘d all still meet.

until the day id reached the age of 18 I was finally permitted one day of the week to be able to leave the grounds and explore the surrounding towns. Without hesitation i went to my friends who's shock was ever abound. It was during these days once a week, that i fell in love. As to not prolonged this, i wont acount for our many sinful deeds together, but i wish for you to know her spirit was free. It could never be contained or locked away for she was the type to fight for her freedom. But if there were a day she couldnt be free she‘d rather meet the reaper, than a closed of world.

As years past our love only grew and grew, so along to did my fathers detestment grow for the one i love. Wasn't till the day i got married that my father stopped griping about my wife, at least infront of me. At nights id hear him speaking to my mother about abhors woman id married. After one night id had enough, id confronted my father and inturn been kicked from my “home”, More like personal hell.

As my wife and I left the “home” i could tell my father thought of it as a fate worst than death to be out upon the world instead of my family's home, he believed id honestly come crawling back. He had no idea how wrong he was. For the love of my life and me had been finally set free, to which we decided to travel. It did take some time to find work to go with travel but it came relatively smoothly as we moved from place to place.

Everything was great till the day joy of my world became pregnant. The fear in which grasped my ever beating heart seemed to only let short burst of blood through my body, as i began to sweat coldly at the thought of being a father. For months and months my love tried to comfort me with happy words but they could not subside the fear in my heart. with each day more fears would grow and become worse and worse. That my father would take me back leaving my child, that i to may be like my father in raising my kin, or heaven forbid my father raise my child. All the irrational fears festered and grew till the moment my son was born.

Upon seeing this little bundle of wrinkles and flesh, my heart learned to love more then it ever had. for the love between my wife and i was able to create something that multiplied our love ten fold In a single being. Upon holding my son the instant he touched my arms, i knew our family tradition would end with me. My son will be permitted to follow any guidelines he wishes, for his mother and i will be there to help. What ever he wants to do or become we will help see it through. He will no longer be set to a family of billionaires who must spend every moment prepping there young to take over their tycoons. No, my son would be free!

though now that years have passed and my sons become a wonderful young man, i often wonder what my father must of felt when seeing me born. I don’t know and i don’t believe ill ever know, but now decades after finally being free, i wish to thank him. For my life wouldn't be this way if it weren't for him hiding me away, making my yearn for freedom become a tidal wave. The tradition of perfection is over!