14 comments

Crime Drama

“What do you mean you’re quitting?!” My father bellows in fury. I had thought it would be going better than this…my father has always taken pride in the family business. I just hadn’t realized how much it meant to him...but this is important to me! I don’t want to spend my whole life working for an oil manufacturer. I guess my dad had other ideas. I want to go out into the world and find an interesting job. One that will bring me joy!

    “I mean that I don’t want to work for you anymore, Father.” I tell him plainly, hoping I don’t get in too much trouble for this. 

    “Why, Brandon?” Is all he says.

    “I want to see the world, Father, I want to have fun and work somewhere I enjoy. This….just isn’t for me.” I watch as his face scrunches up in clear pain. 

I sigh. This isn’t what was supposed to happen. I wasn’t supposed to end up feeling bad for my decision, but here we are. I watch as a single tear slides down his face. I gulp, suddenly unable to breathe.

    “Just go then.” He points towards the door. Is he kicking me out?

    “Wha...what?” I stammer, just above a whisper.

    “You aren’t a part of this family if you won’t carry on the FAMILY business. So LEAVE!!!!” His voice breaks on the last word and he turns away from me. I nod solemnly. I grab the bag he pushes towards me and I walk away from the house. 

———————

How did I get into this mess? I thought I was doing great and then…...well…

I had come in a strange black building for an interview. You would’ve thought that I had thought this place felt strange. The windows were even boarded! How could I be so oblivious?! Anyway about half-way through the interview, this really tall man came in and said “It’s time.” That was when I was blindfolded and something sweet was pressed to my nose. And here I am, in a dark room, bound to a cold, steel chair. 

    “Well, well, well.” I hear an oddly familiar voice that I can’t exactly place. A white light flickers on and then I see her. She looks different, probably from her all-black disguise, but there’s no way I’d ever forget that face. She walks over to my chair, revenge lurking in her eyes. I sigh inwardly. This is not going to go over very well. She traces her cold finger down my chin, a gesture that used to mean so much more. She lowers my gag, knowing no one can hear me if I scream. 

    “Why are you doing this, Mareabelle?” I use her full name because I know she hates it. Even as kids she would tell me her name was Belle.

    “Do not refer to me as that name!”, she hisses at me, “My name is Mare!” 

Of course she changed her name from Belle to Mare. Makes her seem less petty. 

“Fine! Mare, why are you doing this? Better?” I ask sarcastically. 

“You left me behind! You never told me why and now I get my revenge!” She smiles ruthlessly. 

“Are you still mad over the break-up?” I laugh incredulously.

“Break-up? Break-up! Oh it wasn’t just a break-up! You destroyed my life! All I wanted was to marry you! And you destroyed my dreams!” She snarls at me. She makes me seem like a bad person, and here she is with me as a HOSTAGE! We were going to get married, but then I broke it off because I found someone else, someone less controlling. We got married, but then she left and took everything from me, which landed me on my parents’ doorstep. 

“If you’d only married me, instead of that red-headed freak, you would have somewhere to live and children tocare for!”

“You never even cared for me personally! You just wanted a relationship!” I scream, all my pent up anger boiling over. 

“Oh, it will be fun to watch you die!” She seethes. She grabs the back of my chair and drags me towards the back of the room. She snaps her fingers and a blue light shines from a tall object. As we get closer I realize that it is a pool of water. There is a hatch that closes off the pool from any air. SHE’S GOING TO DROWN ME! I start breathing heavily. This can’t be how I spend my last days! NO! She sets down the chair I’m in right on the edge of the pool. And smiles with glee as I gulp in fear.

“Have fun!” She laughs as she kicks my chair into the water. I fill my cheeks with air before I plunge into the water. I watch as she closes off the hatch. Pure dread fills my body as I start to lose air. This can’t be happening! I jolt as the chair violently hits the bottom. It’s super dark and eerie down here. Water starts to fill my lungs and I know this is the end. 

Then I hear a bang somewhere above me. I pay no attention to it, I’m probably having hallucinations because I swear I just heard the voice of my father. I sink out of the chair as the broken parts from the impact of the bottom of the pool separate from a wave of water. My hands and feet are still bound as I let my eyes start to close.

I feel something firm around my stomach as I start to drift away. It feels as if I’m floating up. I hear screams and fighting in the far distance as I shift in and out of consciousness. 

———————————————————————————————-

My eyes snap open and I start breathing heavily. Where am I? How am I alive? I scan the room in confusion and my heart is beating a thousand beats per minute. I hear someone at the door and I slowly turn my throbbing head in that direction. It’s my father. He has bags under his blue eyes and his dark brown hair is matted and sticking out in every direction. 

“Father?” I rasp. Tears start to pool down his face. I’ve never seen him cry before.

“Brandon! I...I thought I’d lost you!’ He comes over to the bed I’m on and wraps me in his arms.

“How?” I ask the simple word and he knows I’m asking how I’m alive, but he just shakes his head and wraps me tighter in his arms.

I’ll probably never find out how he saved my life or how he knew where I was, but I do know that I’ll never take my father for granted again! I’ll be happy to carry on in the family business. It’s safe and it’s with family. That’s all that matters to me. 

November 25, 2020 22:02

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

14 comments

Marcail Nevaeh
21:46 Nov 27, 2020

Does anyone have any tips to help my writing be better?

Reply

Obi Zenobes
17:18 Dec 06, 2020

No but do you have a romance book

Reply

Marcail Nevaeh
02:12 Dec 07, 2020

You mean like a romance story on here?

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.... I LOVE THIS KIND OF STORYS! FAMILY FOREVER!!!!

Reply

Marcail Nevaeh
18:33 Nov 27, 2020

Thank you!

Reply

Marcail Nevaeh
19:00 Nov 27, 2020

Haha thanks!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
02:43 Nov 30, 2020

Very good story; I liked it! I love the family aspect, and your grammar is really good! You were able to keep up the suspense, too. The title was very creative for your story! These are two common mistakes in writing that I see often: -Use more interesting words. I have this problem in my writing. I knew something about my diction was off when my friend told me that my characters were too simple/not relatable and she felt my wording was too simple. Another author on Reedsy told me the same thing about another one of my stories a few da...

Reply

Marcail Nevaeh
15:51 Nov 30, 2020

Thank you so much, this is very helpful to my writing! And thanks!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
. .
17:31 Nov 27, 2020

WHAT YOU CHANGED YOUR NAME!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?

Reply

Marcail Nevaeh
17:44 Nov 27, 2020

Did you like my other one?

Reply

. .
17:47 Nov 27, 2020

Eh, I like hunkyhair and KotLC names more!!

Reply

Marcail Nevaeh
18:32 Nov 27, 2020

Definitely

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in the Reedsy Book Editor. 100% free.