Stuck in My Apartment

Dear Diary, 

I mean I could say Dear Whoever, or Hello My Darling, but it seems that I’ve started my new journal with Dear Diary. Interesting really. I’ve finally picked up a diary for the first time at the store and really felt compelled to write in one. So I picked up this hard back, navy blue diary and bought it for $3.99. I felt that was a decent deal.

Now onto the real stuff. The real reason I started this diary in the first place. I am lost. My feelings are welling up and I just don’t understand why. My life seems to be perfect. My family is doing well, my job is easy and pays well, my boyfriend supports me in everything. What else could I ask for. I guess what I’m really feeling is my life has changed dramatically. I graduated college, I live in my hometown, and now I feel that my life has slowed down. Everything has basically stopped. I stopped being really busy everyday and found that I have a lot of time on my hands. I guess for now I’ll leave you there and come back when I have more feelings to write about.

Dear Diary, 

I have been inside all day. Just for the hell of it, I opened the front door of my tiny apartment just to breathe fresh air. I have no plans other than to lay on my couch and watch another episode of Riverdale. Although I haven’t finished this show, I seem to be antsy, like I need to be doing something else. I want to go out and do something but I don’t have much money to go places and everyone I know seems to be busy today. 

My boyfriend works out of town for his job as a construction worker and my friends haven’t really shown any interest in me in about a week now, which truly I only have four friends that live in town, not including my sister. One of them really likes to party and has been arrested a couple times, so I try to make daytime plans with her, if possible, but that seems to be boring for her. Another one of my friends only shows interest in me if I really persist. It’s like she's so famous that I have to make an appointment to see her two weeks out or it will never happen. My third friend is a really great person at heart but seems to have mental breakdowns where she shuts everyone out, which must be what's going on this week. The last one is my closest friend whom I can tell anything. We live different lives but to me she’s like a sister. With her, it’s hit and miss. She really only replies half of the time anyway. Honestly, she’s a bit of a stoner and I’m pretty sure she forgets that she has a phone. 

It seems today all I’m going to do is write in my diary, journal, notebook, whatever you’d like to call it, and watch TV.

Hello Darling, 

Yeah that seems nice. I like a more upbeat approach to this formal greeting. Like who needs Dear Diary anymore, it's not like I’m Lizzy Mcguire (thanks Disney). 

It seems with all of this COVID-19 quarantine I have really been bored. I’ve drawn some funny looking characters, I’ve binged the whole Harry Potter series again, I’ve baked, cooked, cleaned, applied for more jobs since I’m basically out of work, and not worn pants while doing all of this. 

Work has dwindled down to about 8 hours a week. I can’t go see my pregnant friend or my pregnant sister because they can’t know if I have the virus. I’m also regularly in public possibly being exposed because I’m essential. Barely essential. Some people are essential, like you have to have food and water or you will die eventually. I’m the kind of essential like if you have a food craving but you’re too lazy to get off the couch and go get it. Hopefully this will all clear up soon or I will probably re-decorate my whole apartment by the end of this quarantine.

To whom it may concern, 

Now that's a formal opening. Like when you put your pinky out when you drink tea. You almost need an accent to say it. 

Coffee. 

Three cups a day. That's what I’ve been drinking so I don’t take naps in the middle of the day. And I’m not just drinking them all at once in the morning and getting the jitters. I’ve been drinking one cup and then waiting until I feel a little drowsy. Since I’m still not going anywhere or working much, I guess I’m drinking coffee. Drinking coffee and watching Jughead and Betty be in love and solve crime. 

Top of the Morning!

I went to work today. It was boring. I talked to three patients and that was it, I sat at work, answered the phone one time and we had two appointments on the schedule. 8 hours and only about 30 minutes of that 8 hours did I really do anything besides surf the web for local listings for apartments. 

Don’t get me wrong, my apartment is cute and it has a great view since we are up on a hill and the rent is pretty cheap. I just like to see what's out there and dream about the what-if scenarios. My boyfriend doesn’t understand why I like to do this to pass the time but I guess I like to dream of what's next. Especially since it's been about a month of this quarantine and it really hasn’t gotten any better. So to ignore the outbreak and to pass the time until this all blows over, I like to dream about what my life could be one day. Or maybe not at all.

Bonjour, 

I like this greeting because even though I know very little of any other language besides English, french has always been interesting. The real reason I like this greeting is because of Beauty and the Beast (once again, thanks Disney). As a child, like most people, I watched a lot of Disney movies. We had them all on VHS and we even had one of those TV’s with the VHS player in the bottom. What was even better was it automatically rewound when the movie ended. 

Beauty and the Beast was always my favorite. I’m brunette like Bell so I felt like I could relate to her in some way. She liked reading and obviously singing which I ended up loving when I grew up. But instead of really being like Bell, I just lived my life like any other normal person. Although it would be really cool to sing as well as she does.

Good Night, 

As you can tell, I am writing before bed. Does it matter to you when I write in my diary? Probably not.

Have you ever thought about the small things in life that really give you joy? One of the things I really enjoy is when I’m really hot because my living room is always hot. Well that's not the part I enjoy. What I really enjoy is when I go into my cold bedroom and I slip under the quilt I have on my bed. The best thing is the quilt stays cold for so long even when you're this hot. The cold quilt on your skin. Being so hot you feel like you have a fever, but really your living room just has too many windows and the sun only hits that part of your apartment all day long. The cool seeping into my skin.